For These Ones
by HM Grayson
Summary: Helping Jacob and Leah get together was supposed to be the end of Embry’s involvement. He has his own life. Sort of. But being a pack means that the problems of one are the problems of all...and there seems to be a lot of problems. Blackwater, Embry's POV
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: The Twilight Series is owned/created by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: This is very much a sequel to _Open the Box_, in that the prologue you are about to read actually takes place during the last Act of that story. Which is funny because I'm approaching them very differently. This isn't plotted out to the extent the other was, but it's going to have more plot. I hope that makes sense.

If you don't want to read _OTB_, here's a brief summary of what's going to be relevant: Two years after BD, sometime during late autumn, Embry sort of found himself and decided he was never going to know who his father was, but he was okay with that. That's what he said. Leah kissed Embry in order for him to imprint, which he did. The werewolves had a food fight and destroyed Billy's living room, which is why there's food everywhere and the furniture needs to be cleaned. Embry informed Jacob he (Jacob) was in love with Leah and that the two of them had been in mutual denial for a long time. The two of them (Jacob and Leah, not Embry and Jacob) stayed behind while the rest of the pack took off to clean up, so Jacob could have a conversation with her. The pack comes back and finds Leah cried, Jacob bled and they kissed. This is how all that happened.

...

For These Ones

...

Prologue

...

Embry was an idiot.

For that, and other reasons, he was currently Jacob's least favorite person on the planet.

Ever.

Sam, Edward, Blondie, creepy Euro-vamps—none of them had ever come close to being this low on Jacob's totem pole of hate.

"You're in love with Leah," Embry had said. Even though they had both imprinted and Embry should have known better. Imprinting meant you no longer fell head over heels for women who were out of your reach—the world turned on a fixed point and you were happy about it. There was no more mess, no more pain. Everything was simple.

Being in love with Leah wouldn't be simple. Jacob was lucky that Embry was an idiot—so obviously wrong that Jacob shouldn't even have to bother to point out why. Because if Embry was right...it didn't matter, because Embry was wrong.

Words had not yet been invented to properly express how wrong Embry was.

So what if Leah was funny and gorgeous and smart as a whip and tough as one too? He couldn't be in love with her because it didn't work that way anymore. Yeah, he might sometimes spend hours planning out their conversations so he sounded witty and wise and he might have thought about how pretty she looked when she laughed on more than one occasion and he might know that his very worst nightmare was seeing her hurt but...

But, yeah.

Embry Call was an idiot.

And, you know...completely right.

Obviously, he was right. Embry might be the smart one, but Jacob wasn't brain dead. Obviously, he was in love with Leah. Who wouldn't be, if they had the choice? That was the problem. Jacob didn't. Jacob couldn't. Nessie meant there was no one else for him.

But Embry was right. Somehow...Embry was right.

Somehow, despite the imprinting, Jacob had managed to fall in love with the woman who was currently watching him impatiently from the couch.

"We don't have all day, Jake," Leah snapped. "Either spit it out or—"

"Just give me a second," he snapped back. She sat back down, arms crossed just like her legs. Perfect. She was defensive. Just the way he wanted her to feel before he confessed he was going nuts not being with her.

"Okay," he began, sitting on the armrest. It was as far away from her as he could get on the couch without fleeing it entirely and looking completely like a coward because it didn't matter what Embry had implied, Leah wasn't going to feel the same way and even Jacob couldn't handle getting his heart stepped on like that. "Okay," he repeated.

"Any day now."

"Okay! Jeez, Leah, hold on a second."

"I'm getting old here, Jacob."

This was a dumb idea. Embry was deader than dead. Jacob had to tell her how he felt now—she would find out soon enough because she could read his mind, but he wasn't the type to keep things like that to himself anyway. But this was a bad idea.

And not just because Leah still thought of him as Rebecca and Rachel's annoying kid brother sometimes. And not just because she was incredible and could do so much better. Jacob could deal with all that.

But Quil was soon going to be his sole best friend because now that Jacob acknowledged that he loved her, now that he had to tell her, he was just going to end up hurting her. Because Leah and him weren't going to work. Either she did feel the same way (Embry _was_ wrong about that; no way Leah cared about him _that_ way) and he ended up turning into fucking Sam, or she didn't and everything went to hell. Their friendship was important to both of them, almost as important as the pack was, and he was going to ruin both of those things very soon by making everything so unbearable awkward they wouldn't be able to deal. And that...really sucked.

Fuck Embry. At least that gave him a place to start.

"Embry and I were talking last night."

"Yeah, Embry's not my favorite person right now," she admitted. "Don't really want to be talking about him."

"Can't kiss him now that he's imprinted."

That came out a whole lot more jealous sounding than he intended, but she didn't even notice, just rolled her eyes and ordered: "Drop it, Jake. It worked, didn't it?"

He hated when she sounded like that. When he couldn't draw the bitterness from her anymore he was going to have to kill Embry. Oh yeah. That part was happening pretty definitely.

"It was dumb luck and bad timing, Leah. It wasn't you. It's not like you're cursed. You have to stop thinking like that."

"As much as I would like to prove you wrong, I'm tired this morning and I'm pretty sure you didn't ask me to stay behind just to talk to me about my ability to bring imprinting wherever I go."

"No, I didn't," he agreed.

"So...? What were you guys talking about?"

"How I'm in love with you."

Leah blinked. Once. Twice. Maybe he should have blurted less and explained more. She looked down and snapped: "That's not possible."

"That's what I said." She looked up, surprised, and he grimaced. "I didn't think it was. But I—I can't deny how I feel." Not anymore, _Embry_. "I love you. Just so you know."

They stared at each other for a long time, Leah playing with the abandoned gummy worms on the couch. She twirled them in circles, not looking, not caring, just spinning them around and around until he wanted to snatch them away and throw them across the room and demand she look at him already.

"I'm flattered," she said finally. He felt a little sick. "Really, kid, I'm touched. But we both know you've got your pretty little baby leech, so whatever you think you feel about me doesn't really matter. But hey," she said, smiling up at him, "This doesn't have to be awkward. I want to be mature about this. No hard feelings, kid. What we've got is too good to fuck up over a little crush."

It would have been nicer, Jacob reflected, if she had just hit him. Would have hurt less, too. She was just so...understanding. He preferred Bella's out and out denial—at least, that he knew was a lie. This sympathy, this oh-so-sincere-sympathy, was intolerable.

"Yeah," he snarled, jumping off the couch. "Sorry for the inconvenience."

They moved to take the first cover off of the couch, but the way she was holding everything was just going to end up with all the chips on the floor, so he came over to show her the right way, brushing her arm as he went to move her hands.

She flinched.

So much for not making it weird.

Then she blushed.

Standing as close as he was, the red color of her cheeks was immediately obvious. For the first time in years, his brain finally turned on. A quick review of her speech—now forever burnt into his mind—revealed no denial. She had sidestepped her feelings entirely. And Embry had said she—Jacob almost wanted Embry to be wrong. Because if Leah did care about him, why the hell had he spent so much time on the other side of the couch?

"Leah..." he said, reaching for her.

She stepped back, trying to escape. That wasn't going to be allowed to happen again. This time when he reached out he grabbed her hips none too gently and dragged her forcibly in front of him. She hit his chest solidly.

"What the hell? I don't remember giving you permission to manhandle me."

"Leah," he began again. "I told you I loved you. Don't you have something to say to that?"

"I already said—"

"Something else." His arms tightened around her waist until she really was trapped. Good. Though he could feel her trying to pull away, there was no way she could get out.

"You're insane."

She was staring at his neck, anger masking most of her face. But he hadn't spent years with this woman without learning how to read her just a little bit. She was scared. She had to know he would never physically hurt her, which meant she was worried about an emotional blow, which meant...

Embry had been right.

Not just about how he obviously loved her, but about Leah, when Embry hinted that she wanted him, that she cared, that it was killing her just like it was killing him. Warmth spread through Jacob, long forgotten but not unfamiliar. Hope, he identified it. Hope. And he grabbed hold of it with all the werewolf strength he had.

"Yeah," he agreed. "But we know how I feel about you. How do you feel about me? Leah? Tell me how you feel."

"Don't be stupid, Jacob."

"Leah," he whispered, right against her ear, even as he forced her face upwards so that when he pulled back they were just inches apart, eyes boring into one another. "Leah, I love you. How do you feel about me? Tell me. Please. Please, Leah...tell me."

Her breath came quickly, her eyes widened—he had her trapped now and she knew it. There was only one way out. The truth. So she took it.

Ever so faintly, she finally admitted, "I'm crazy about you."

Before he could enjoy it, before the warmth in his heart could spread to the rest of his body, before he could even begin to kiss her senseless, her fist swung up and hit him right in the nose.

"Shit, Leah!"

"Are you happy now? Fucking happy now?"

He clutched his nose, trying to catch the blood. The bone wasn't broken and the blood would stop soon enough. It was stupid of him to forget how fast she was. Especially when cornered.

"What the hell is your problem?" he yelled.

"My problem? Fuck, Jake, what the hell have you done?"

"What?"

"What do you mean what? You've—you've—"

"Do you know how long I've been telling myself I don't care about you?" he demanded, grabbing her again. "I've been making myself nuts. I don't want to pretend anymore. I won't. I'm in love with you, you're in love with me. We should be together."

"We can't," she whispered.

"Why not?"

"Nessie."

The word took him by surprise and that stupid smile was on his face before he could stop it. Leah looked at him sadly.

"See. You've imprinted, Jake. You've imprinted and I don't share."

"Then I'll stop."

"That easy? Just like that?"

She was mocking him a little, but he didn't care.

"There's got to be something. I can at least try and stop." As soon as the words flew out of his mouth, Jacob felt lighter than he had in years. He could almost hear the steel cables snapping. "I'll stop. I'll stop the imprint."

"You can't."

"I will. I'll stop. You have no idea how long I've wanted to say that. I'm going to stop imprinting." He was almost laughing he was so giddy. "I'll stop."

He was so happy, Jacob leaned over and kissed her without even thinking about it.

For a second, she just stood there, lips too hot against his. For a second. And then her hands wrapped around his neck and she pulled him closer, furious, demanding, and undeniably Leah. When she ran her fingers through his hair, he had to deepen the kiss and then he wasn't sure what was going on, not really, because the giddy feeling had exploded everywhere but it wasn't a bad thing, no, it wasn't a bad thing at all.

And when she pressed just a little bit closer, he silently promised that Embry was going to get the best birthday present ever. Why hadn't he done this sooner?

Even werewolves had to breathe and so she pulled back eventually and the two of them just stared at each other, panting, unsure of what this all really meant. And then her eyes filled with tears.

"Leah? Are—?"

"Shut up," she ordered. She was shaking and then to his horror the tears began to fall, fast and furious, turning her cheeks glossy and he hated himself a little bit more. He could only watch as she rubbed her eyes, then bit her palm, then just talked through the tears when nothing seemed to be working.

"Why do you always do this? How do you make me believe things?"

"What?"

"It won't work, Jake. It won't. It's not possible for you to stop, it's not going to happen. But you make me think it can, you make it so all these stupid, impossible things make sense. And you have to stop. Because you can't. You can't."

Suddenly it didn't matter that all he could smell was the copper scent of blood—he should have let her hit him harder. He was just like Sam.

But no sooner had the thought came than he dismissed it. Sam had loved Leah, hurt Leah, left Leah, but Jacob wasn't going to. He wasn't going anywhere. If he made her cry than he was going to hold her until she stopped. Jacob wasn't leaving her. He just had to make her see.

"Leah," he began, brushing away the tears. "We turn into werewolves. We do crazy, impossible things all the time. Why is this so different?"

It was selfish. Totally. Completely. Even as he said the words, he knew it. If he couldn't break the imprint, he'd just go kill himself. But this conversation insured that it was no longer all about him. It was about her too now, and if he made her hope and then crushed that—could he risk Leah? Did he have the right?

No.

But he couldn't leave her. Jacob couldn't leave her when she said she cared; when what he wanted was so close he couldn't just stop. So he waited for what felt like forever as she bit her lip and took deep breaths and tried to get herself under control. Finally, she whispered:

"You really think it could work?"

"It will. And if it doesn't, I'll find you someone," he said quietly. "Someone who might actually deserve you and he'll take care of you—"

"I don't—" Her eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to bait me so I get too mad to argue?"

"Is it working?"

That finally got a smile out of her as they stood wrapped together in the middle of the battered room, watching each other carefully. She sniffled a little, but the tears had stopped.

"I'm scared," she said plainly. So nakedly honest it was painful to see. "Terrified, actually. But—I do...I do love you. I'm so goddamn stupid, I love you."

He was floating now. He had been sure, in his way, before, but it was nice to hear her say it. More than nice. In fact, it might have been the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. No one had ever said that to him before, said it and meant it the way Leah had, but it felt even better than he had ever imagined it could.

"Damn. What if I can't beat this?"

He hadn't meant to blurt it out, but she didn't start crying again. She stroked his hair and brought his head closer to her so he could feel her breath against his lips. "Then in four years I will give the best damn wedding toast the world has ever seen. But that's not going to happen. You're not getting rid of me that easily, Jake. I'm yours now...or maybe I've always been. Alpha and Beta until the end." Her eyes might be red, but there was fire burning in them now and her voice was sure. "You will beat it."

"Yeah. I have to. I'm so sick of living like this."

It was like just after waking up after too many hours of sleep and the whole world was a little hazy and the numbers on the alarm clock wouldn't come into focus—he wouldn't spend the rest of his life like that. He wouldn't not know what was going on in his own damn head, imprinting or no imprinting.

But his thoughts stopped when she giggled—Leah Clearwater honestly giggled. His head snapped back in surprise.

"You've got blood on your face," she said, licking her thumb and trying to rub it off.

"Thanks to some psycho I know."

"Don't be a baby, Jake. You deserved it."

He growled and she laughed again, before pushing him backwards. He stumbled, but the couch broke his fall and before he could complain that she was going to get him killed one of these days, Leah was straddling him and he forgot that he was upset. Her legs were on either side of his hips, her chest pressed to him, her lips on his...

As much as he liked the way she nibbled along his jaw—and god, did he like it—sitting passively by didn't work for him. It was almost too easy to lift her up and she clung to him tightly enough that they managed to shift positions without breaking contact. Much better, he thought, as he lay on top of her. Now he could feel her underneath him, hard and soft and somehow just right...

He pulled back and brushed her bangs off her face. The fine strands tickled his fingers before he abandoned them for tracing the side of her face.

"Any other objections?" he teased.

"There is the fact you graduated high school less than six months ago," but her tone matched his. They were both twenty-five most of the time, anyway. Sometimes it made him sad that so much of his childhood had simply phased away, but it did have its perks.

"You never did give me a graduation present."

"You have some suggestions?"

He thought he had been aware of her body underneath his before, but now it was like a switch had been flipped and it was all he was aware of. Leah's legs around his, her hips pressed just _so_ into him, her breasts against his chest...

"They won't dare come back for at least forty-five minutes."

She giggled. It was sort of sweet to see. "You couldn't handle me, Jacob Black."

"I'm going to try," he muttered, kissing her again, his hand snaking up her shirt. There were crumbs and dried sugar clinging to the warm skin, but he was still dangerously close to becoming addicted to the feel of her anyway.

"Now that is a good objection," she murmured and he stopped because he could figure her out even when he was more hopped up on hormones than he could remember being in a long time. This was still too new, too strange. They needed a game plan to deal with everything and that meant all exploration had to wait until after they had talked with the others. "Do you think they'll be pissed when they get back?"

"Embry and Quil will just be happy for me, us. Seth..."

"Seth is more in love with you than I am," Leah said, only half joking. "I want to be the one to break it to him."

"Actually, we won't have to tell them much. Embry's probably told them about our conversation and they have to know this ends one of two ways."

"Death or sex?"

Since she had suggested it...but she laughed and caught hold of his hand, lacing her fingers with his. They simply kissed, long languid kisses that seemed so familiar that they could have been doing this their whole lives. Years of learning to anticipate each other's every move was being put to good use.

"Remind me to torture Embry for a bit," she murmured against his mouth. "Sticking his nose where it didn't belong."

"Kill him, for all I care. Though I can't believe you denied it at first."

"I had to try," she admitted. Her hand was on his face, black eyes staring into black eyes. "We really do have something great here, Jake, and we very well could fuck it up and lose everything. You get that, don't you?

"I know," he said somberly. He knew only too well what he could lose—and what he stood to gain. If he wanted easy, he would take Nessie and soulful perfection. But he would take impossible any day of the week, as long as it included Leah.

Anyway...

How bad could it get?

...

TBC


	2. Chapter 1: The List

Warning: So I've been thinking about the rating for this...and I've come to the conclusion I cannot figure out the rating system on this site. I upped the rating just to be safe, because I don't want to restrict myself, though there will be nothing too graphically violent or sexual in this story and the language is only getting cleaner from here on out.

Disclaimer: I forgot to mention the title is from a song by Buffy St. Marie "Now That the Buffalo's Gone." I've loved her voice since I was eight when she made me cry, though I didn't understand why at the time.

Author's Note: It's been two years. Embry's opinions have changed from from how Bella presents them in the book, though I'm not saying he's necessarily right for doing so. But it's boring when everyone agrees, so change they have.

...

Chapter 1: The List

...

"There's sex."

It's not my fault that I'm the one who always has to bring up things no one else wants to talk about. Though maybe in this case I should have kept my mouth shut.

"Embry!"

The pillow hits me in the side of the head—hard. Seth's arm is getting more powerful by the second and his aim is a lot better now that he's spent the past hour throwing things at everyone. Mostly me, actually, but only because I'm the only who dares say these things.

Leah is glaring daggers at me from the couch, but I'm grateful to see that Quil and Jacob are snickering quietly. At least my best friends appreciate me—they should, because I know they were thinking it, even if they were smart enough to keep it to themselves. Jacob gets jabbed in the side, but he doesn't seem to care Leah's pissed; the only way he retaliates is to wink at her.

"I thought we told you not to talk anymore," Seth hisses under his breath while his sister tries not to let on that she's smiling.

When I forced Jacob and Leah to sort out the mess between them, I expected one of two results. The first was a complete and utter implosion, an epic battle of the sort people never lived through, with a body count I couldn't afford to think about and two people who had once been the most solid partners I had ever seen suddenly unable to faction within a hundred feet of one another. Needless to say, that was the worst case scenario. That was the reason I bit my tongue for so long, why Leah drove herself nuts trying to bury her feelings, why Jacob simply existed in the land of denial. There was the worst case scenario and no one got out of it alive.

The other possibility that I had entertained could be blamed on my darling Marian, whose questionable taste in movies rivals only Seth's, though she prefers romantic comedies to horror films. I've seen _Legally Blonde _twice already and she's been my imprint for just over two weeks—sixteen days if you want to be precise. Sixteen days and for the record, each day just gets better. Yesterday, for example, I found out that she likes to eat grilled cheese just the way that I do, with ketchup and just a little bit of mustard. We really are made for each other.

I don't know how Jacob managed to become preoccupied with Leah while Nessie was right there, but since he was, I just sort of assumed that if the world didn't end when he confessed his feeling to Leah they would ride off into the sunset in a blaze of happily ever after never to be seen from again.

The reality is...they're sitting on Billy's couch like they always do. The only difference is that Jacob occasionally absently strokes the legs resting on his lap. But for the most part they act the same way they've acted for the past two years, teasing interspersed with occasional bouts of violence.

Seeing them act affectionate wasn't something I were particularly looking forward too, but it's been nine days and I have yet to see them kiss (though there's plenty of evidence to suggest they have) and even on patrols they've managed to keep whatever happens between them...between them.

They have been so extremely private that I can't help but wonder if they really are together.

But then, why else would we be making the list?

"He's allowed to talk if it's helpful," Jacob reminds everyone. I can't believe they have me on parole. I did them all a favor. "And that could be helpful, so he's allowed to say it."

"Please don't put it on the list," Seth begs.

"He won't," Leah announces. Jacob holds the pen in the air, undecided, wondering if she's just pissed at me or has an actual point. "Because if we think you having sex might break the imprint, than we have to consider that if She has sex it might also break it and any plan that requires us to wait four years is a bad plan. Plus, I'm not having sex with you just because of Her."

"But other reasons are okay?" he teases. He gets a pillow in his face. We shouldn't have let Seth have so much ammunition.

"It makes sense," I argue. "It's physical proof that you've rejected the imprinting. Maybe Leah's right in that both you and Nes—Her would have to try, but it might work."

"It's not going on the list."

"It should."

"I'll take that into consideration," Jacob says. Twenty bucks says he's going to try it anyway, he just can't tell Seth. "Anyone have any more ideas?"

The room goes quiet. We've been brainstorming ideas on how to possibly break imprinting for the past hour or so. It's not a very comfortable conversation. Quil has hardly said a word and it kills him a bit to hear us talking about how getting rid of a process that seems to vital to his existence. I'm not completely okay with it myself, though I've managed to compartmentalize my situation and Jacob's fairly well. Seth is uncomfortable for different reasons—namely that it's his sister we are doing everything in our power to make sure Jacob can be with. Hence the flying pillows.

"What if," Quil begins, "you asked her to just take a vacation to the other side of the planet? It sort of feels like you're dying whenever they're too far away. Maybe it'll just snap."

"We don't want Jacob dead," Seth points out. Relief washes across the faces of our Alpha and Beta; there's been a wicked looking scowl accompanying the pillows and I don't blame them for thinking Seth might have abandoned his Jacob Black fan club for a Die! Jacob Black, Die! hate group. Or a Die! Leah, Die! one, which is probably still more likely.

"It just _feels_ like you're going to die," I assure Seth. "He probably wouldn't."

"They have been wanting to go to South America. It'll be good for them."

"And if we're really lucky she'll fall in love with Nahuel and everything will work out perfectly." Seth grins. "Nessie and Nahuel. It even sounds good."

Too late, the kid realizes what he's done. Leah's stiffened on the couch and Jacob grabs her hand to keep her from somehow managing to escape. We spend too much time as animals; when we're corned, basic fight or flight response kicks in. There isn't an opponent for Leah to fight—mystic forces aren't the most considerate in that they tend to be incorporeal—so she can't stop wanting to run.

Not that I blame her. We might all be here trying to help Jacob stop imprinting, but mention Nessie's name and suddenly he just looks so content it's hard to remember why we're even bothering. Leah might be half-sitting on his lap, but he's not smiling goofily at her anymore. He looks right through her and she stops believing that he wants this.

But he does. This time he even stays in control long enough to grab her. Their hands look almost painful tight together, but she relaxes after a moment and just shrugs:

"Alliteration is not a sign of compatibility. Or are you secretly in love with Sam?"

Seth laughs, mostly to shake off the guilt for violating our new rules. "Yeah, we go on double dates with Jake and Jared all the time."

"I knew it," she grins as Jacob admits, "He doesn't yell me all the time. It's sort of nice."

"Oh, shut up and add it to the list."

He does then holds the paper up. The whole page has scribbles on it, blue ink that might mean anything, but that we need to believe is a key to something better. We're planning to explore everything from werewolf to vampire myth and there's got to be something in there that will help him. Something.

And if there's not?

I'm going to spend the rest of my eternity begging everyone around me to forgive me.

"Is there anything else?"

This time Jacob's question is met by silence.

"Okay. We'll start by interrogating the Elders first. They might have left something out. Then on Friday we'll go over to the Cullens and see if they won't help."

Translation: In five days the most awkward conversation in the history of the planet is going to occur. I'm very glad I am not in Jacob's shoes. Meeting my imprint's father was nerve wrecking, even if it turns out that Aaron is just about the greatest guy ever, but this is going to be a whole lot worse. The leeches are going to freak out and Edward might just kill Jacob on the spot. Jacob's promised Nessie he'll be there for her and they're going to see this as him asking them to help him make sure he's not. It's not going to go over well.

Serves the leeches right. Seth might love them and Jacob might like them and Quil might tolerate them and Leah might ignore them, but I know better. There is a reason they are our sworn enemy and it's not just because they smell terrible.

They're evil.

I admit, when I first joined Jacob's pack, when the threat of a war against my best friend had suddenly been nullified and Jacob was over the moon with Bella and Nessie, I enjoyed hanging around the bloodsuckers. They aren't so bad, most of the time, not the ones who hung around us anyways. When they act like human beings, they can give convincing performances.

But it's only acting.

They might look human and try and act human, but when it comes down to it, they aren't human. They are both angel and demon, shining marble statues of perfection that bring death with them wherever they go. Neither side means that they are anything like us. The way they treat Jacob and the rest of us is proof.

It took me a while to notice it. Caught up in having Jacob with us again, it took me a lot longer than it should have to see how it really was between us. Sometimes I think I would have picked up on it even if it hadn't been pointed out to me, but if I'm perfectly honest, chances are I wouldn't have noticed because it's pretty difficult to admit. Jacob's my Alpha, my best friend, my family, and it's hard to watch him be put down. But that's what happens. In every look they send Jacob, send the rest of us, the Cullens keep telling us to heel.

Good doggy.

Good boy.

Jacob's their precious daughter's soul mate and somehow that makes them think they own him. They feed him and clothe him like he's their pet not a werewolf who could tear them to pieces. Always they ask him to do things, to watch Nessie, to reaffirm the treaty, to help quash rumors in the town. And he does it. Everything. Because he can't not. Because they could take Nessie away and he can't have that.

He's their daughter's soul mate and they treat him like a slave, which is a whole lot better than they treat the rest of us. We're their guards, their faithful alarm system. We're their butlers, their cheerful delivery men. We're their attack dogs, their first line of defense. It's disgusting. If it wasn't because the goal is to get Nessie as far away from Jacob as possible, I would refuse to go. But since talking to the Cullens now might led to never talking to them again, I will happily go when Jacob asks us to.

"Why don't we go sooner?" I suggest. "No sense in putting it off."

"If they do have information, I want us to have time to look through it all."

"You don't have to go," Leah says suddenly to Jacob. "It might be better if you don't. They can't kill you if you're not there."

"I have to talk to Nessie," he says softly.

And I don't want to be in this room. Leah was a lot better at hiding her feelings when we were all helping her. Now there's no mistaking the terror and heartbreak and loss on her face and I can't stand looking at her because it's partially my fault. Bringing them together was supposed to make them happy, but all I've done forced her to break down her walls. I can't handle what was behind them, not knowing if he'll ever be able to help her rebuild. In this room he's hers but how long will that last when he's sitting across from the love of his life?

"Okay," she mutters.

Quil catches my eye and we squirm together. Seth looka miserable, so easily aching for anyone in pain. Meanwhile, Jacob can't make this better, so he says nothing at all. He doesn't want to do this, knows he very well might make her worst nightmares come true, but at the same time, he has to go. Nessie's his world right now and he can't just ignore her.

"They might be able to put us in touch with the South Americans," Jacob says finally, still watching her, trying to make her believe through sight and touch that she's not wrong to stay with him. "If we ask nicely."

"Saturday." Leah announces to the room: "We'll go Saturday."

"Fine. We'll go Saturday instead. But we can't put it off—"

"We won't. Just...Saturday won't kill anyone. Quil, you can take it off, right?"

"Do I really have to go with you to Leech Central?" The stony faces on the couch answer his question. They don't seem to understand humor right now. "Fine. Yeah, I should be able to. As long as I don't have to talk to Blondie again."

"Rosalie's nice."

The four of us stare in horror at Seth. Looking at the bright side of life is all well and good but the boy has apparently hit his head on something while we weren't watching because he is speaking crazy talk.

"And with that I'm taking my brother home," Leah says. "Or to a doctor."

"She is," Seth insists, even as Leah pulls him to his feet. "You think so too, Leah. As long as you don't take Nes—Her away from her, she's sort of nice."

Seth's spent the whole meeting throwing pillows at everyone. It's only fair that we all whip them back now that's he's lost his mind. He tries to block them, but that's three pillows and they manage to make him grunt anyway and he can't stop the second volley at all.

"I'm going, I'm going," he says and then rushes to the door.

Jacob gets up and follows Leah from the room. Seth must have taken off because she lets herself linger. Werewolf hearing is more useful when you're running through the forest, less useful when your best friend is saying goodbye to his sort of girlfriend in the next room.

Not that they make a lot of noise. He simply promises her he _will_ stop and she tells him he better and then...

"I've almost saved up enough to buy a car," Quil bursts out. Anything to drown out the sounds from the next room.

"What are you thinking?"

"Claire's dad knows a guy who might let me have his Civic. It's from '04 and he says it's going for five thousand, but I'd have to put some work into it. There's some problems with the radiator—it might have to be replaced."

"Then that's another two hundred, easy. Not to mention the leaks have probably done some damage. Can you afford to keep paying for all that?" I guess I have officially embraced my role as the bearer of bad news. "Not to mention labor."

"We'd do the labor in our spare time," Jacob says as he comes back. "Weekends and stuff. That's not the problem. I'm more worried about the other damage. If the guy's been driving around with a busted radiator, I don't want to think about the state of the engine."

It's almost like old times, except now Quil might actually buy the thing, instead of taping a picture to his bedroom wall and staring at it all the time.

We haven't done this for a very long time, just sat around and talked, but I like it, and I think they like it too, because even after we've beaten the topic to death we're still going around and around talking about how we're going to fix up whatever Quil buys. It was the three of us forever and it's good to remember why sometimes.

"There's actually a show in Seattle on Friday," I bring up. "We could go check it out."

Quil snorts. "And you're supposed to be the smart one. Jeez, Embry."

"What?"

"Leah didn't put off going to the Cullens so we could go to a car show." He shakes his heads. "Boy,I think I'm going to have to draw you some diagrams before you see that girl of yours again."

Jacob tries to stay straight faced, but he's never been very good at pretending he's not happy when he is. Because Friday night with Leah Clearwater isn't something to scoff at, especially when she's sort of desperate to make sure he remembers her. Could even imprinting make her forget the sight of her naked underneath him whispering how much she loves him over and over? The expressions on my best friends' faces suggest they believe she's going to at least try.

I wonder if he's nervous. I would be. I'm terrified _for_ him. Bad enough she's older and he's never done it before—he's actually seen her together with her past boyfriends. There's no way he won't be able to not compare himself to Sam; it's in his freaking DNA, for crying out loud. And afterwards, he's going to have to read her mind and think exactly what she thought of his performance. Just the thought creates a feeling of dread in my stomach.

It's a little funny that all three of us have gotten to eighteen with our virginity intact. It wasn't something I ever gave much thought to, but if I had I would have assumed that at least one of us would have lost it before now. Long before now, actually, which might make me sound like a jerk, but that's just the truth.

I guess imprinting has been good for protecting our virtue.

Quil simply has no interest in sex. Zero. Not less than zero, because he doesn't cringe when it's mentioned, but he simply never thinks about it on his own. And he never thinks about having it himself. Jacob was pretty much like that after Nessie, though he somehow managed to notice the view anyway.

I was too scared.

That's sort of Sam's fault, in a way, though he never forbad us from dating and he let Paul continuously discuss how to properly pick up girls. No one listened to Paul, obviously, because when we get slapped, girls break their hands. But seeing what it did to Sam after he imprinted on Emily made me pretty disinclined to try my hand at dating. Sam loved Leah, maybe loves her still. It tore him apart, knowing what he had done to her. I wasn't going to let that happen to me. So I avoided girls. It's as pathetic as it sounds, but it's what I did.

Now, of course, I have Marian and she's warm and soft and it's just a matter of time. She wants to wait and I'm happy to do so, but it's impossible to resist the devotion we show. It's been sixteen days and we already can't stop touching one another.

"I don't need diagrams. I have a girlfriend, not a toddler." That reminds me...I turn to Jacob. "Are the two of you actually dating?"

He rolls his eyes. "Ask Leah. I like to think I won that argument, but she might have changed her mind by now. She's insane," he said fondly. "She'll admit she loves me, but she won't let me call her my girlfriend. She won't kiss me in public, but she'll—"

He breaks off then, stupid grin firmly in place.

"Why did he stop there?" I ask Quil.

They've been together for nine freaking days, but Leah's always been fast. Not to mention they've practically been dating the past two years, they just didn't know it. It wouldn't surprise me to learn there's something very interesting causing Jacob's smile.

"I have no idea. You're not allowed to stop, Jake."

"I am," he shrugs. "First off, it's none of your business."

"And she'll know if he tells us anything," Quil grumbles.

Jacob doesn't deny it, just adds, "Plus, there's Seth."

"Seth? You're telling Seth shit and not us?"

"No, you idiot. Seth Clearwater, Leah's little brother? He can read our minds. Leah's already worried that we've over-shared with the poor kid. We don't want to make this worse for him. And since the two of you might let something slip that you're not supposed to, I'm not telling you anything. So drop it"

Their uncharacteristic restraint makes a little more sense. Being an only sibling suddenly doesn't seem that bad. There's no way Jacob and Leah can keep this up for long. There are always slips and however you try and ignore them, everyone does pick up on it. Exhibit #1 being Jacob's current non-relationship with Leah that the whole pack knew about even when we couldn't admit it. Poor Seth.

Quil agrees with me because he changes the topic of conversation. We aren't going to make things harder for the kid, despite our interest. We've already got enough problems to worry about.

Like meeting the Cullens on Saturday.

...

TBC


	3. Chapter 2: The Talk

Author's Note: Need a little help here. Does anyone know if Old Quil, Billy and Sue are the only Elders in La Push, or just the only ones we know about? I can't seem to figure that out. Oh, and what's the point of writing about werewolves if you don't get to use their powers for evil sometimes? Here's to more awkward and upping the rating.

...

Chapter 2: The Talk

...

My mother wakes me up Saturday morning, but I just grunt and roll over. It's early (I think) and I don't want to bother getting up and going to see the Cullens. But she shakes me again. It's times like this when I really wish I could afford to live anywhere but at home.

"Jacob's on the phone."

I only take it because I'm hoping he's calling to tell me that he's decided to cancel the whole thing, or at the very least wants me to stay home. Sitting up a little too quickly, I take the phone from my mother and apologize to her quietly.

When she stops looking annoyed, I smile in relief. It would take something stronger than a Coven of vampires to get me to leave my mother. Marian is probably the only one who could ever succeed.

"This better be good, Jake."

"I need you to do me a favor," he begins. I wish I had stayed asleep.

"Go away." We're both silent for a second. I'm trying to work up the anger to just hang up on him. It's early-ish and I don't want to be getting out of bed anytime soon. Marian wanted me to take her to the opera up in Seattle last night and it takes a lot longer to get to Seattle when you're in a car. Jacob's waiting patiently for me to get over myself.

Guess which one of us gives in first?

"What do you want?" I snap.

"Hey, if you're going to be like that, I can hang up, call Quil instead. I'll have woken you up for no reason, but if you don't care..."

"Just tell me."

He laughs to himself. "Could you phase?"

"What? Why?"

"Come on, Embry. You sort of owe me."

I do owe him. Currently I owe him about three thousand dollars, even though he's not referencing that at all. I'm still not sure where Jacob, Quil and the Clearwaters got the money they've lent me—they said it was a present, but I plan to pay it back with interest. They're better off than I am, but they don't have that kind of money lying around either. But even if they didn't have it, they gave it to me.

They gave it to me and I'm so grateful I start tearing up whenever I remember because there's no way I could be paying for my classes if they hadn't all chipped in. Mom does the best she can, but College doesn't want your best, they want your checks. School is funny that way.

But since Jacob would never bring up something like that up—I don't he ever thinks about all the spare change he doesn't have just because I'm greedy and in love with higher learning, just occasionally wonders if I'm happy at school and is glad when I answer yes—I push all this out of my head and make a joke.

"If it weren't for me you would currently going through life unaware that you were ass backward in love with Leah Clearwater. You owe me."

"Just phase, Embry."

It's not a command so I could refuse, but he's starting to plead now and it makes him sound sort of desperate so I can't say no to him. The rules of best friendship are not always the most enjoyable, especially on Saturday morning, but there are rules. Besides, it's not a difficult task, so what can it hurt?

"Do I need to run for this?"

"You just need to phase. I'll do the running."

We're faster than it seems possible, but it'll still take him a while to run from Seattle to La Push. I want to ask why Leah's not running with him, but I can ask all the questions I want while I'm in his head and that way I might get an answer.

Maybe she is with him. I really hope not. Bad enough I'm going to be bombarded with his memories of the night before, I don't need hers as well. And I'm going to get bombarded. They spent the night at her place in a different city and there's no way they didn't do something that they can't stop thinking about. Poor Seth. Poor me. Leah's hot but I've got Marian now and I don't want to be thinking about Leah that way, anyway. When Jacob punches me now it really hurts.

Still, I hang up the phone and hop out of bed, shrugging out of my shorts as I do so. It takes only seconds to phase. All I have to do is close my eyes and I can feel the source of my power—and my rage—and then suddenly I'm not standing on the faded carpet. I'm crouched down there on four furry paws.

_Thanks for doing this, Embry, _Jacob immediately says.

_What am I doing now?_

If we were having a conversation he would be hemming and hawing, but as we're in each other's heads I just get a flash of really confused and embarrassed emotions, plus a few glimpses of Leah that are gone too quickly for me to worry about. She'll have no qualms about killing me if I see something I'm not supposed to and I'm grateful Jacob's managed to keep me safe so far.

In his head, I can see the world flashing in front of his eyes as he runs by, every tiny piece of earth observed and loved as he runs past. I settle into his head, enjoying the run. As we relax, it becomes easier for me to figure out what he wants.

He wants to keep Seth safe.

We're better at creating privacy now, much better than we were at the beginning. We're a lot better at sharing too, at being completely in each other's heads when we need to be—if a newborn army attacked us now, they wouldn't last five minutes. The joining together is easier than breaking apart, but we need to make sure that Seth isn't going to stumble across anything that we don't want the younger boy to see, so we need to work together.

We need to make sure individual memories remain individual. Even if we are a pack.

There's more than that, too. We need to keep Leah private because she's _his_, not the pack's and we might share everything but we aren't going to share her.

It must be part of being an Alpha, we think. As we run from Seattle to La Push, I am him and he is me, our thoughts perfectly in tune, but at the same time, we can hear him distinctly, ordering Embry away from her in a way Jacob would never do. It's incredible how he can be both us and himself and part of us thinks that we should separate just so we can analyze the feeling some more, but we don't. He's not finished.

There's Edward to consider, too. Today we are going to confront the Cullens and there should be nothing in our heads that Edward cannot see. We are going to be honest and open, but we have a right to some privacy and so we have to make sure the walls in our minds hold, that nothing gets out that we don't want to escape.

Embry's always been better at keeping things to himself, almost as good as Leah, who is too involved to help Jacob properly. Embry's the one to ask for help, though Jacob would have preferred to ask Quil...Leah didn't help _him_ to imprint.

The jealousy is so foreign it causes me to pull away, Embry and Jacob as separate beings once again. I roll my eyes while standing in my bedroom telling him, _It didn't mean anything._

_I know_, he snaps.

But I kissed her first all the same.

_Can we just do this?_ he demands.

_You're being stupid, Jake. Though it is sort of fascinating how territorial we can get. Just yesterday I was talking to Marian and this guy looked at her and—what did you do last night?_

The abrupt change in conversation doesn't disturb him at all. He merely snorts and continues running.

_Nice try._

_I'll do better next time. Why don't you try describing at least part of it, so we can see how far you can push it? What happened when you first got to Seattle?_

Tentatively, he begins to show me his memories. He finds Leah in that safety hazard she rents in Seattle, pen in hand, working on some sort of assignment. Her hands smell like ink when they wrap around his neck to greet him hello, but he manages to keep the other details to himself as she invites him in and he teases her about her poor decorating skills.

They head out to dinner and then to a second dinner and then into a park. He wants to go for a run and she laughs and relents and then I can hear both of them when he relays this part, both humming with a strange sort of energy as they slip through the park, careful to stay away from people or simply running too quickly for anyone to see. They spot a dear and she whines about him making her eat raw meat for desert. He just laughs as they chase it through the bush, eventually letting it run off as they happily wander their way back to their clothes. The energy increases, but he manages to disguise it so I wouldn't be able to tell what it was if I didn't already assume. They get dressed in the forest and she's got mud on her arm, but he says nothing and then they're back at her place, saying goodbye. She tells him she'll follow after she takes a shower and he picks up the phone to call me.

It's daylight out and he's managed to skip ahead almost twelve hours and I didn't even notice.

_Very good,_ I say. I'm almost jealous under my admiration. That's a lot of control there.

_Thanks._

_Can I ask you something as your best friend and not as your loyal servant, Alpha-my-Alpha?_

_Don't be a dick, Embry._

_I'm just teasing. But seriously...did you?_

I get nothing from him for a good while. Long enough to test himself, I guess. And then a warm, almost wispy thought comes from him..._yeah. _

_How was it?_

Again, he waits before he tells me. Practice makes perfect after all.

This time he doesn't send me words. Just an emotion, a feeling that's giddy, nervous, ecstatic, scared, eager, over-whelmed, shy...all tied together with something that means he's completely and irrevocably in love.

_Cool_.

_Yeah._

One of those horrible things that I have to say because no one else will pops into my head. And because we're currently reading each other's minds, Jacob can't help but see.

_I hope you were careful._

The picture he sends me back—my head weirdly super-imposed on Billy's body—is the stupidest thing I've seen in a long time.

_Be serious, Jake._

_Serious? Okay, seriously cut it out, Embry. That's not something I needed to hear from you. Ever._

_Jake? Shut up. As your pack brother I am telling you we have no idea what's going on with Leah's body. _

_Actually..._

He doesn't mean to feel so smug, but he can't help it. I want to roll my eyes. _Mind out of the gutter, boy. You thought about this, right? _

There's the wall up again, but he answers, eventually. His thoughts are clipped and a tiny bit furious, but not at me. Not at Leah either, though behind his thoughts I can hear her words and she can be such a bitch when she wants to be.

_Yes, Embry. We were careful. She called me some pretty unflattering names, but we were careful. Thank you for being so very nosy, Dad._

_I'm sure your dad said the same thing._ I don't get an answer. I get such a non-answer that I have to ask: _You did tell your dad, right?_ _Where did he think you were last night?_

_I told him I was going to Leah's,_ he says, defensive now. _I just haven't told him that things are...different between us now. It's not a good idea for us to be telling everyone. It could get back to Sam and I don't want anything to possibly be messing with the treaty. Not until everything's worked out with Nessie and me._

_Yeah, but your dad's not going to tell. And it's not fair you can't tell him but Leah can tell Sue._ The guilt is easy enough to read. _She's not telling Sue? Shit, what aren't you telling me?_

_Sue would tell Billy. _

_So?_

_So if I tell Billy and I fuck this up, he wouldn't be able to get over it. If I told him I was dating Leah it would get his hopes up and if this doesn't work...I don't want to do that to him._

We can read each other's minds. It's not a useful position for him to be in when he's trying to lie to me. He couldn't look Billy in the eye for the rest of his life if he told his father he wanted to be with Leah but didn't have the strength to go through with it. Billy would understand, but Jacob couldn't handle disappointing himself like that. Telling his dad makes it official. Making it official means that if this all falls apart, it'll hurt a thousand times worse.

And they just don't want to tell Sue. Sue might just kill Jacob if he breaks her daughter's heart. She tried to take a shotgun to Sam last time and there's no Harry around to stop her anymore.

_That's rough_, I say finally.

_I don't like lying to him. But it's only for a few more weeks. _

_Right._

We're quiet for a moment, each of us trying to individually collect his thoughts. We're both scared it won't be that easy. Jacob copes by trying to move on, by asking me to get back to testing his strength. But I cope by retreating to Marian and Jacob's given me an interesting topic to explore. I wonder how it'll be when it's the two of us, if I'm going to be able to keep it to myself, where we'll be, if I can make her as happy as I want to...Jacob tries to tune me out at this point. Too bad. I wanted to be asleep this morning so he can work to block me. Marian is really the most incredible girl I've ever met. Officially. Every time I remember we're going to be together forever, I can't help feeling like I won the lottery—in every district on the planet.

It makes me wonder why Leah did what she did. There's no guarantee that she's not going to be left all alone in twelve hours...

I didn't even direct the question at him, but somehow this accomplishes what all my other prodding didn't. Before I can brace myself, there she is.

—_lying on top of me without a shirt on. It was an open invitation to explore every contour of her body so I let my hands linger on that perfect ass. I had good reasons; it was all part of trying to figure out my favorite part of her. It was a close competition, especially when her mouth was doing something to my ear that was almost amazing enough to distract me from the scent of her in the air. Almost._

_I took back everything bad I had ever said about being a werewolf. Superpowers were awesome._

"_Stop thinking," she ordered, shifting on top of me so thinking was really not much of an option. It wasn't my fault that I couldn't help feeling a little guilty. Like the world's biggest asshole, actually. Why the hell was I risking her like this? I was supposed to protect her._

"_Sorry that hurting you isn't something that gets me off."_

"_As long as you don't call out her name, we're good."_

"_Not funny, Leah."_

_Not funny because I couldn't seem to convince her that it was never going to happen. I might not always remember she existed, but Leah was the only one who made me feel like this. _

_Her hand slipped between us, cupping me through my jeans, and she really had to stop fighting dirty because it was not fair. My mouth was completely dry and I was supposed to be noble? It just wasn't happening. _

_"You're not going to think about her tonight," she ordered. "Tonight, you're mine, Jake. Only mine."_

"_I'm always yours."_

_Even if she had almost made me swallow my tongue. _

"_As long as you remember that."_

_I flipped us over, pinning her underneath me so she had no choice but to pay attention to what I was saying. And I really liked it when I could feel her squirming against me. "Yours," I promised. "Even when I don't remember."_

_She pulled me down to her to disguise the loving smile on her face, mouths crashing against one another. One of her hands was in my hair, tugging none too gently, pushing my head further down and—oh. So that's what she wanted. Hellloo, new favorite part of Leah. So perfectly round, so soft, so—_

It's like jumping off a cliff and forgetting the ocean is at the bottom. The sudden ending to the memory makes me fly out of my skin. All around me I can hear Jacob cursing, pissed that he let me so far into his head and that it took him so long to stop it, even though I had been trying to help him. Or I think I was trying to help him. He thinks differently.

_Embry! You prick—you want porn go online. _

_Sorry_.

_At least pretend that you're trying to stop it next time._

_Hey, you wouldn't have done any better. Give me a break. At least it looked like you knew what you were doing._

_Shut up._

_Shutting up._ Since he would pretty much rather be talking about anything on the planet right this second, and since he could probably kill me without breaking a sweat, I turn to one of my least favorite topics of conversation. _You nervous about the vamps?_

He swears. _I just really hope_ that _doesn't happen around Edward. She'd kill me._

She would. At least I've seen Leah topless before, a lot more than topless—it's inevitable when you're a werewolf, unfortunately. Maybe never so up close and personal, but at least I've seen it. If Jacob shows Edward that memory, Leah's going to have to kill him and the leech to preserve the last remnants of her modesty. It's a girl thing, but it's also a major problem.

Mostly because I've finally realized that continuing to discuss Jake's lack of virginity is a lot more awkward now that I watched the preview, I keep on the leech angle.

_Hey Jake? Um...why are you more worried about Edward? He was actually pretty reasonable about the whole thing. It was Bella who attacked you when she found out._

_Which is why she's going to be happy to get rid of me. _But he didn't quite believe it. It was still a little weird between him and Bella. It probably always would be. Going from in love with a woman to in love with her daughter was a hard shift to make.

Bella Swan, or Cullen, as we now had to call her, was always a problem with Jacob. When she had been human, a bit broken, a bit lost, but funny, two years older and good for making Jacob happy, I thought she was pretty great. Now...it's hard to remember the woman with the amber eyes is the same one who did her homework in Jacob's garage. I have trouble making the connection; Jacob doesn't even try.

Vampire Bella is Nessie's mother. End of story. That he was once in love with a girl who looked remarkably similar to her isn't something he thinks about. He's best friends with Nessie's Mom—Jacob has more best friends than I want to think about. But he's just friends with her. I'm not sure that he realizes they're the same person. Are they?

How is she going to react? Not well, we all know it. Maybe at the beginning they wouldn't have cared, but they're acclimatized to us now. Hell, Jacob's the reason they're still in Forks. He owes the bloodsuckers and they're not going to be happy that he wants to cut back his debt. They enjoy having their own private puppy too much to let him stop.

This is going to be nightmare.

_Stop being ridiculous, Embry._ Right. Mindreading. _They aren't that bad. You can't blame them for wanting to look out for Nessie._

_I can if they don't care who gets hurt in the process. They've always been selfish when it comes to her—_

_Embry._ Jacob's growling in my head. _Enough, Embry. I don't want to listen to you bitch. Not today._

_No, you don't want to hear what I have to say because I'm right._

And the worst part is that we both believe what we're saying wholeheartedly. We can tell that about the other too because it's hard keeping secrets in this state. We each believe and one of us is wrong. It isn't me.

_They aren't the monsters you imagine them to be, _he says quietly.

_But they aren't human the way you want them to be._

_Can I cut in?_

The new voice doesn't even startle us, just gives us an excuse to change the topic. We both greet Leah, who seems remarkably chipper this morning. Of course. I figure she's going to be projecting an air of annoying confidence all day at least until Jake sees Nessie and she—

_I am currently running fast enough that the sound barrier might just get broken,_ she breaks in._ Let me bask in my awesomeness for a moment, jeez, Embry._

_He can be a stick in the mud sometimes, _Jacob apologizes._ I've asked him to stop but he just doesn't listen._

_Pessimistic and disobedient. Tsk, tsk. _

_Why does that sound so familiar? _

_You calling me names, Black? Don't bark if you won't bite..._

_Could you two cut it out? _I demand. Flirty-Leah is worse than bitch-Leah. Who would have thought? _Or I'm just going to phase back. _

_Phase back, _she shrugs. _We don't need you._

_Didn't get enough pillow talk in this morning?_

_Goodbye, Embry,_ Jacob says. But he doesn't sound angry and Leah isn't snapping. They really are a lot better at this than they should be.

_We do have years of practice,_ Leah says ruefully. _Now scram. We have important Alpha/Beta stuff to discuss._

_Don't, Embry. Just don't._

_Wasn't going to._ I lied. It was just too easy now to imply what sort of Alpha/Beta things they were going to talk about. Before Jake can actually get angry, I phase back, standing up in my bedroom once more.

My bed is unmade and looks so comfortable I almost fall asleep just thinking about climbing back in it. But at the rate Leah was running, I've got less than half an hour before they get back. Damn.

With a sigh, I head downstairs to get breakfast. It's not being a werewolf that's the curse. It's having to pay for groceries.

...

TBC...


	4. Chapter 3: The Cullens

Disclaimer: Stole the thank you thing from _House. _

...

Chapter 3: The Cullens

...

I've just finished wolfing down one last bit of bacon when I hear Jacob howl. It's time.

My mother's left for the day, so I lock up the house behind me. When I'm hidden by trees, I strip and then tie my clothes around my legs; I actually have to bring a shirt this time because we're trying to look respectable or at least not homeless. It takes me only seconds before I phase and then I'm flying through the forest.

Phasing keeps getting easier and easier. I wonder if we could stop entirely now if we wanted to...

_We can't,_ Seth says cheerfully. _We've got to stay this way until the Cullens leave, at the very least._

I don't like that. Jacob has to know that keeping the Cullens around is a bad idea for our long-term health, but he can't accept that just yet. Reason #349 why Nessie needs to go away and never come back.

Seth doesn't ever want the Cullens to leave—I don't think Seth could see the bad in anyone, even if he tried—so he keeps jabbering on about unimportant topics.

_Please, I'll pay you guys back. It's only five bucks._

_You could just stop taking every girl on the rez out to dinner,_ Quil suggests. He addresses me, demands: _Did you know the last one thanked him when he broke up with her? She actually said the words 'thank you' like she was honoured he was breaking her heart. How the hell does he do that?_

_We're still friends,_ Seth shrugs. That was the worst thing about Seth. They still were. She would probably show up to his wedding and talk about what a great guy he was and give his future wife a sincere kiss on the cheek.

I prophesize: _Murphy's Law states that you are going to fall in love with the only woman in the world who can't stand how you're such a nice guy. _

_Leah's the only one who thinks—Ew. She's my sister._

_Thanks for clarifying that, Seth. Obviously, no one in their right mind would want to date Leah. I just meant—_

Jacob interrupts to transmit the rendezvous spot to the rest of us. Leah is laughing in my head, still scarily cheerful. _Someone forgot his medication this morning_ she teases me. She doesn't need to listen the coordinates, she probably helped Jacob pick them out, but I do, so I ignore her and focus on the image in my head. The Clearwaters like playing dense when it can annoy me.

The spot Jacob has picked is just outside what we think of as Edward's range. He won't be able to hear us, but the walk isn't an easy one, through trees and brush, and no one has shoes. Shoes are expensive and if you accidently phase at least one of them gets destroyed. We all have at least ten lonely shoes sitting around. We should decorate a tree or something. A small way to give back to the community for all the ways we've failed them.

_A shoe-tree would be really cool_, Seth breaks in. At least the others attempt to pretend we can't hear everything everyone is thinking. _I want to help decorate it._

_One problem at a time_, Jacob laughs. _Everyone almost ready to meet up?_

There's a general consensus that we're all close. The rendezvous point might be inconveniently located and far away, but no one complains. We understand how important it is to be organized before we head over to the house.

Seth's already in the clearing when I get there, dressed and bouncing in place, ready to go. Quil comes a second later, followed by Leah, who managed to overtake Jacob. It's scary how fast she can go. But he comes a second later, so maybe they were racing. I really hope she was pushing herself.

She disappears behind the trees, while the rest of us get dressed. Jacob looks calm now, sure of himself, but we all know it's part of an act. This is his life he's gambling on today and there's no way to predict how it's going to come out.

"Just let me talk," he pleads. "Even you, Seth. I know you want to, but let me talk to them first. When they decide not to kill me, then you can start being pals again."

"They won't be upset," Seth says. Bet he believes it too.

"I think the brain damage might be permanent," Leah says as she comes out of the forest, fixing her clothing as she goes. When she doesn't receive a response, she snaps: "What? You all suck. It was Jake's idea."

Jacob just grins and pulls her to his side. "I'm brilliant. You look great."

She looks better than great. It's probably been months since I last saw her in clothes that were clean, low-cut _and_ the right size, but I can't believe I forgot what a good look it was for her. It's unfortunate thinking about her tits might just get me killed because—luckily, I've got Marian. She actually has the perfect sized breasts, just big enough to fit into the palms of my hands. Though looking at Leah gives me an idea. I've got to get Marian to come for a walk in her bare feet. There's something sexy about mud between a woman's toes.

"We sure this is the best idea?" I ask. "They're going to start looking for a reason and if Leah shows up looking like that—"

"I have been known to look nice on occasion," she mutters.

"They're going to put two and two together."

Jacob knows. "If they figure it out, it's fine. Telling them might not be the best idea, but who cares if they figure it out?"

I still don't think it's the best plan, but I understand why he told Leah to look nice today—he does want them to know, even though the logical part of his brain knows it's stupid. There's no point in antagonizing them further but he hates hiding the truth. So he's going to scream it at them without using words and hope they pick it up but don't believe it until they're comfortable enough to just let it go.

He's been doing that with everyone, saying it silently because Leah won't let him say it out loud. She's the one who persuaded him to just talk to Old Quil and not the rest of the Elders, who swore the old man to secrecy even though he's getting kind of forgetful lately and who knows if he told them everything in that busy head of his. Jacob agreed—I think it's because the Elders are also their parents and he has his own reasons for not wanting to tell their parents—but she's the one who's sort of desperate to keep their relationship on the down low. Not that she's bothered to explain why, but I think it has something to do with how the entire town of La Push once used to whisper about Sam's crazy ex-girlfriend as she walked past. If she gets her heart broken again, she doesn't want the world to know why.

It takes me a moment to figure out why she agreed with Jacob that they should hint at their relationship to the Cullens. When I do work it out, I realize that it's probably why she's been doing a lot of things for Jacob lately. The Cullens are different from the rest of the world. Everyone might call her names, but it's the Cullens who could take everything from her. Nessie owns Jacob mind and soul. The least Leah can have is his body—it's the one last claim anyone can make and she's got to either make it or lose him forever.

She's going to kick my ass when she realizes I'm feeling sorry for her again.

Jacob is just finishing up laying down the rules: "And try and keep your thoughts on breakfast or something."

"What a fearless leader," Leah says. "Let's just do this thing."

And so up to the Cullen house we go, Jacob leading the way, Leah following behind him, neither touching the other—oh no, they are very careful about that. Now isn't the time if they ever want to be together. I'm next, then Quil and finally Seth bringing up the rear. It used to be because the kid had the best ears so he could hear someone coming, but now he's about as big as Quil and is surely bigger than I am. The kid's going to be as big as Jacob soon. It's starting to get sort of scary how fast he's growing.

I could keep thinking about Seth but I don't want to think back to what I was thinking about this morning, so instead I think about bacon and eggs and it works just as Jacob intends because my mouth is watering by the time the white house comes into view. Most of my brain is preoccupied with hoping that they thought to cook, because Jacob called ahead and told him we were all coming over. The other part is cringing at the thought of taking their food again.

There's a story I once heard, that is starting to apply to us far too much for my comfort. There was once a hunter and he placed a bunch of bananas inside a cage and a monkey came upon it and reached through the bars and grabbed hold of a banana. But he couldn't get his hand back out. It just wouldn't budge. He could get it in but he couldn't get it out...at least not while he was holding the banana. Eventually, the hunter returned and killed him.

All he had to do was let go.

We still keep taking their bananas. We can see the cage and we don't even want the fruit, but we still keep our fists clenched. What is wrong with us?

Jacob has barely gotten to the porch when the door opens. Edward smiles at what he believes is his future-son-in-law and then his gaze snaps to me, so I wave and wonder why the leeches have no concept of privacy—are their own lives just that uninteresting?

"Come in," Edward says and Jacob expresses his thanks like a good slave and we all head inside, trekking mud all over the pristine white carpet. Vampires don't do dirt—why else would you have a house that was as beautiful and unliveable as this?

The vampires really have all assembled. I can name them off easily now: Doctor Cullen and his wife, Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice, and Bella and her daughter, She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. They're sitting on couches and chairs, curious but bored, not caring what Jacob has to say. They're going to care, very soon.

Jacob's already in front of Nessie, bending over to give the girl a hug. I force myself to contemplate the wonders of pancakes, staring at my best friend and his soul mate and not at anyone else in my pack, though I can't help wishing he would be a bit more reassuring, instead of looking so very delighted when he makes her laugh.

"Could you take her for a walk, Esme?" he asks and the room seems to ask a silent question.

"Certainly," she says. "Come here, Nessie."

"Bye, Princess," he says, watching her leave. Then he shakes his head and crosses his arms and announces: "We need to talk."

"We figured that out ourselves, dog," Blondie snaps. It would be annoying how she always does that, if she wasn't so freaking hot.

"I want to stop imprinting. I want your help to me figure out how."

I guess that teaches me to assume Jacob would be prepared. I had expected a speech of some sort, maybe even a presentation. Nope. He gives them two sentences. Do I have to do everything for him?

"Excuse me?"

He's turning to face Bella, just a little bit ashamed. "I'm sorry, Bells" like she has any right to be angry. "But it's not fair to Nessie. It's not fair to me. It has to stop."

There's a deep breath, even though they don't need to breathe, and then they start...it's creepy, whatever it is they're doing. They aren't talking, just staring at one another, silently telling each other Jacob is crazy.

"Why?" Bella asks. "Why now?"

"Because I finally figured out that I don't want it. Which was stupid because I _never_ wanted it but I...I just..."

"Just forgot for a little while," Seth supplies.

Leah says nothing. I force myself to think of bacon again, not about remembering and forgetting and—bacon. Bacon is good. Jacob looks at Seth gratefully and agrees, "Yeah. I forgot. But I've remembered now. You wanted me to stop, Bella. Remember? So now I'm asking for your help."

The vampires are tallying the votes. I wonder who's keeping track—probably the Doc. Bella and Edward still look confused but confusion we can deal with. It's the expression on Jasper's face I don't like, the coolly speculative look that is wondering what happens to the treaty if Jacob's no longer Nessie's imprint. He has a right to be worried. Sam won't stand by if he doesn't have to. With the possible exceptions of Jacob and Seth, none of us are going to let them stay a second longer than we have to. I don't want to kill them (most of the time) but they better be preparing to leave.

We'll worry about the treaty in a second. I want to make sure the rest of them aren't planning to go to war just yet. Jasper's wondering about it, but he won't act unless pushed, I don't think. The Meathead doesn't look like he's even considering the possibility of a fight. He appears bored instead, while the Doc is probably already trying to work out a solution to the problem. The two women are staring at each other, glancing back at us, staring at each other some more, before the tiny one lights up like an overly bright Christmas light.

"That's so sweet," she says delightedly.

The Model just rolls her eyes. "Gives a new meaning to puppy love, anyway."

_That_ catches everyone's attention.

There's a little bit of cursing going on in my head and I bet Quil's doing the same thing, which has to confirm everything to Edward immediately, even if our guilty expressions didn't. I doubt he would have gotten anything off Leah. She looks so disinterested it is almost comical, as she puts her hands on her hips and shrugs.

"The only thing close to a puppy around here belongs to Bella, remember?"

Rosalie hisses, looking almost feline as she curls backwards ready to spring. But all she does is hold Leah's eyes, for a long time, well past the time when it's just creepy to the point where it might just be the most disturbing thing I've ever seen.

But we have bigger problems than Leah's staring contest with the vamp . Edward is busy glaring.

"Is this true? Have you been...unfaithful?"

That pisses Jacob off. "I can't cheat on a two year old!"

"She's eight," Bella corrects. The second she says it, she knows how utterly stupid it sounds, but Jacob can't help himself, even though he should.

"I guess that makes it all right then," he snorts. I hit him in the back of the head which helps Edward decide not to engage in physical harm himself.

He settles for grumbling, "Jacob..."

"She's two. She was born less than two years ago. And I have done everything Nessie has ever asked me to. More than that. I never asked for this, but I have been everything she's ever needed. Everything. I will continue to be everything she ever needs; I won't abandon her. I won't. I just want...I just want to be me for two seconds without having to remember her."

That gives the upset parents pause. Maybe they have some human feeling left after all. But they aren't the ones who speak up.

"Let's help him," the Stone Cold Bitch says.

The leeches are as surprised as we are, except maybe her husband. She's no longer looking at Leah—she's looking everywhere but Leah and Bella, actually—as she tosses her long blonde hair and smiles languidly, like we're supposed to be impressed with her display of beauty. Okay, it's incredibly attractive and imprint or no imprint I think I'd do her in a second, but she's still evil incarnate.

"Told you she was nice," Seth mutters.

Leah rolls her eyes.

"You'll help?" Jacob asks, not sure if that was a consensus or not. I don't think it was, but they've opened the door for him and he's always known how to push. "Please, Bella. If Blondie wants to help—"

"You shouldn't have waited so long," Bella snaps.

"I couldn't help it. But you were right. Right about the whole thing. Come on, Bells." He's got this easy on his smile his face now, playing her perfectly. Remember me, it says? We were best friends until you tried to break me—you owe me now. "Please. For Nessie."

"And Leah?" she asks. I can't begin to wonder where that bitterness is coming from. Is she angry on behalf of her daughter or on behalf of herself? Oops. That thought doesn't make Edward very happy.

"Whatever imprinting is supposed to do it's not working properly for me. I—I shouldn't be able to feel the way I do about Leah. No one else can. But I do, Bella. I do," he repeats softly. "And maybe that means I have a better chance of shaking this off, so I want to try. But I need your help."

She doesn't like it, but she turns to her husband, who blinks. Maybe that's the vampire equivalent of a shrug, because it seems Edward just said whatever in the most elegant way possible.

"What is it you'd like us to do?"

Jacob doesn't even let us rejoice in having it all gone relatively smoothly. He just launches into a list of requests, asking them to leave town, asking them if they have any suggestions, asking them to do research, asking them to let Nessie perform some rituals that Old Quil has suggested...

To my surprise, but not Jacob's, they agree to everything. Even the moving away causes them only a little bit of pause. They've been keeping a pretty low profile in town the past two years and I can see that some of them are eager to be off and never look back.

Of course, they have all started looking at Leah like she's some sort of evil temptress that is ruining their perfect happy dream. I nudge Jacob at some point during his discussion with Edward and he nods. Quil and I get Leah out of that room, taking advantage now that we have an excuse to leave. The bloodsuckers won't attack—Seth should be enough protection for Jacob.

Quil and I sit down on the steps of the front porch while Leah paces in the earth in front of us. We can still hear what's going on inside, but it's not particularly interesting. We're getting rid of five out of nine vamps. If we had to keep some of them, I'm glad it's the Doctor and his wife. I could do without the Soldier and the Sprite, but apparently they're the best at research. And Jasper doesn't want to leave Carlisle without proper protection. I should be offended, but I haven't been able to go further than their front steps, despite hating the smell. I get it.

"Did that seem a little too easy?" Quil asks. "Or was that just me?"

"Nope. Too easy. Especially since I thought Blondie was going to go for Leah's throat at one point. Did you—" I'm not sure what I'm asking and Leah doesn't make it easier. She watches me silently as I stumble for the words. "Did you—when you said that to her—is she trying to help you out?"

"It's not about me," she snorts. She sighs, rolls her eyes and generally acts like a drama queen. "You men. She doesn't want to help for her or for me and she sure as hell isn't doing it for Jacob. She wants to help us for the same reason I've been begging Jake to order the leeches to leave town for the past two years. You're supposed to protect children. Fucking morons. We might be barren but we've still managed to figure it out faster than you fucking dickheads."

Quil bristles. "Jacob would never hurt Nessie."

"But he can't leave her alone, and that's not good for her either. How are you supposed to learn how to stand up by yourself if someone's always ready to hold you up?"

She didn't have to go to the literal quite so much. Quil can't help it if Claire likes it when he picks her off the ground.

"What the hell do you know about what's good for her?" he demands, standing up, trying to stare her down. Like that's going to work.

"He gives her everything she wants like that's healthy. Is that really love?"

"Better than being completely selfish about it."

The door opens behind me and Jacob comes out, easily stepping by me on the steps and putting an arm around both Quil and Leah, forcing them to stop glaring at one another. His voice is low as he growls: "Could we at least pretend to have a united front? At least until we get off their land?"

Seth and I are hurrying after their retreating backs as I pipe up: "It's only their land because they came and took it."

Jacob stops glaring at his angry best friend and angry girlfriend long enough to glare at me. I know he thinks I'm turning into his father, but that's not true. I don't give a shit who owns what, not really, and I'm not about to compare our leeches to the nation of leeches that came and couldn't stop taking, trying to reduce everything to a few quaint souvenirs in my mother's tourist shop. I might hate the Cullens for what they're doing to us, but I won't go that far. Sure, they shouldn't be here and all they bring us is death, but they're not doing it on purpose. I just want to remind Jacob they don't belong here so there's no sense in trying to keep them.

It's not like there's enough money out there to get me to do what Billy did, anyway. I won't ever be like him. For all his memories and stories, he forgets. Forgets and doesn't learn and that I can't forgive or forget.

No one ever honors treaties.

"Hey Nessie!" Seth calls as the little girl and her grandmother come into view. Jacob gently knocks Quil and Leah's heads together as the girl shyly waves at the group of us.

"Try and behave until I get back."

He leaves to go talk to Nessie. Since having the four of us stand around in silence is just awkward, I ask them: "You're all coming to the beach tomorrow, right?"

"And miss our chance to meet another perfect, wonderful faultless imprint?" Leah snorts. "Why would we do that? Of course we're going."

"I would appreciate it if you didn't scare my imprint away."

"Imprints love _me_," Quil points out.

"Age appropriately, I can only hope," Leah mutters.

Luckily, Seth bursts in at this point, proclaiming: "So I have an idea." Hereaches down and scoops a handful of earth, grinning ear to ear. "I know how I'm going to raise five dollars. Who here wants to buy a nice, beautifully scented plot of earth?"

The three of us stare at him. Leah is the first to laugh, but Quil and I aren't that find behind. "There must have been uranium on your pacifier or something, because you're clearly insane, Seth."

"Seriously. Earth for sale here. Don't any of you want it?"

"I'll give you a quarter if you shut up," Quil offers.

"Fifty cents if you throw it in Quil's face," Leah counter-offers.

I'll glance down at the handful of mud in Seth's hands and decide to be sort of helpful and more annoying. "I'll give you a whole dollar if you take out the stones first."

"Two if you throw the stones at Leah."

She hits Quil in the arm, but the two of them are laughing now, pack again. "I'll help you settle your stupid girlfriend debt if you throw the rocks at Embry and the dirt at Jacob."

"I think I could do that," he agrees, even as I protest.

"What did I do?"

"I just don't like your face," she shrugs.

Quil agrees: "It's sort of creepy looking. No offence."

"You must have been looking in the mirror," I mutter.

"You girl," Leah laughs.

Seth is hard at work, though he looks up and warns me, "I would start running if I were you. I've got pretty good aim."

"You'd stone me?"

"It was Leah's idea," Quil says as he reaches over to help Seth. "They're just pebbles and you heal fast, anyway."

"So that makes it okay." The three of them nod, in unison. Crap friends. It's fortunate that Jacob comes back over, Nessie in his arms. I don't think they would have really gone through with it, but I would hate to be disappointed.

Quil hastily knocks the mud out of Seth's hands and the pup hides his dirty paws behind his back. Smooth. Luckily, Jacob's too busy trying not to stare lovingly at Nessie to really notice what we're doing.

"Okay. I'm staying to help Nessie perform the rituals. Two of you need to go get the materials from the Clearwater's. Embry, I'm thinking you should stay behind and help the Cullens with research duty. Any volunteers to help him?"

Seth sticks up his hand, mostly because he can never resist when Jacob asks for anything. A quirked eyebrow suggests Jacob wants to knowwhy Seth's hand is covered in dirt, but he just shrugs and lets it go. He knows us too well.

That settled, Seth and I turn to back into the house. We're on the front steps when we hear Leah gasp. It's more than instinct that we turn around, ready to fight; willing to stone me to death or not, I would die for her. There's no way I'm ever going to let the Cullens hurt her.

But everything is fine. Or mostly fine, because Nessie has reached out one cold hand and put it on Leah's cheek. Jacob is trying not to cringe as his imprint shows his girlfriend something that he can't see. After a moment, Leah smirks. It's not a pretty sight.

"She's wondering if rock-paper-scissors can solve the problem."

"You're pretty good at it. Maybe we should try that."

She elbows him in the side. He wraps an arm around her waist, kisses her on the forehead without thought, Nessie still in arms. It's easier to walk into the vampire's lair than to keep watching them, watching him loving them both without thought while both woman and girl can't bring themselves to look at each other, so I turn around. Seth follows me a second later.

"What if this doesn't work?" he wonders.

Him and me both.

...


	5. Interlude: The Table

Author's Notes: Embry was boring me. Always a bad sign. So I decided to stick some interludes into the story. They aren't going to go with the chronology of the rest of the chapters. This takes place after the chapter you haven't read. Hopefully it won't be too confusing.

...

Interlude: The Table

...

In her completely unbiased, totally disinterested, utterly impartial opinion, on a scale of one to ten Jacob Black was a solid fifteen.

Not that Leah was drooling over her lazy Alpha. Leah never drooled and, even if she did, she wouldn't have done it over a jerk who didn't even bother getting his ass off the couch to come greet her. It was just pure biology that seeing him lying around shirtless couldn't help but make her think certain things. Like you could probably grate stone on those abs. Or he could make some spare change modeling for Abercrombie—he might not be blue eyed, but those muscles alone...they added a whole five points to the ten point scale.

His face wasn't horribly deformed, either.

"Thanks for the help," she snapped as she made her way over to him. The bags went onto the table and she just stood scowling above him, hands on her hips. Like the crazy psycho she was. It was only when her shadow blocked the light that he looked up from his stupid magazine—_Car and Driver_. Surprise. She needed to get him some different hobbies.

He grinned.

There was clearly something wrong with the air circulation in Billy's house because suddenly it was really hard to breath. He should get that checked out.

"It's good to see you, too," he said.

It was so easy for him to pry her hand from her hip, even easier for him to kiss the back of it. Suddenly it wasn't so easy for Leah to just stay standing what with her knees turning to gumbo. She didn't even like gumbo.

"Didn't you hear me come in?"

"The door was unlocked," he shrugged. Before she could start explaining the manners were not something that he could ignore when a particularly shiny set of rims caught his eye, he added: "I would have gotten up if I'd had known you were wearing that."

For the record, Leah was a genius. Certifiably brilliant, with an A+ on top.

Careful not to blush, she pretended to look confused while glancing down. All she could see were the top swells of her breasts but she had a pretty good idea how the white tank top made them look, how it didn't quite hide the black lace bra she was wearing underneath and how the jean skirt was just a little bit indecent now that she was a super tall freak. She should have a good idea—it had only taken her thirty minutes (not fifty, despite what her mother might say) to decide what to wear.

"You think I look nice?"

"You know you look gorgeous," he growled. His hand snaked out and was burning away at the back of her bare thigh before she could blink, pushing her closer to him.

Jacob got three points alone for his hands: For the way they felt, hot and rough and yet gentle to the point of addiction. For the way they spread out over her entire thigh even though her legs had started looking like tree trunks after she began phasing. For the way he knew how to use them (she thought about giving him two points for that, but then he would just have too many and his ego was big enough as it was).

But he was making his case very convincingly for two points, by just barely brushing her skin while tracing the frayed edge of her skirt.

"I think I know what I think better than you do," she said. It was such a lie she wanted to laugh. When it had happened, she didn't exactly know, but Jake knew everything about her now. A hell of a lot better than she ever had. "I want to know what you think."

"You know what I think; I'm a little surprised you own a skirt."

Ass. She owned tons of skirt—it was a shame most of them didn't fit anymore. Not that it mattered since she was still going to wear them. Wear them a lot, actually, because Jacob's hand had slipped to the inside of her other thigh and was steadily climbing upwards over the sensitive skin.

"Shut up, Jake. I'm a girl. Girls own skirts."

"I didn't think I'd ever actually see you in one," he muttered.

Leah would have made a smart-ass comment back—she hadn't given up being a woman just because she turned into a four-legged animal every so often, thank you very much—except Jacob sat up just a little bit and kissed her thigh, right where the skirt met her skin. She would have said something except suddenly she couldn't breathe at all. Billy really needed to get that fixed. Stat. She couldn't have Jake dying in the middle of the night.

Her hand came out to brush his hair from his eyes. Eyes locked together, he brushed his lips along the ragged denim edge while his hand moved higher, just under the jean edge. As she fought the urge to shift her legs further apart, Leah couldn't help thinking he was very good at this.

Too good¸ the idiotic part of her brain supplied. Leah forced herself not to think about it; it's not like she was an expert on deflowering guys or anything (if this whole thing with Jake didn't work out, maybe she _should _try that—one of the few things she had actual ability in). Guys must have different levels of natural skill. She was not going to think about mindreading, and she really wasn't going to think about Sam, so she settled for reminding herself Jacob was always a fast physical learner and finally let herself enjoy the feelings he was creating.

There was maybe another half inch to go when he smelt the food.

Of course.

Men.

"You bought me Chinese?" he asked, sitting up completely, pulling himself away. Leah almost screamed—and then almost threw the food at his face. Luckily, she was much better at controlling her anger now.

"Because I'm awesome," she sighed.

"Perfect."

It was impressive how he managed to stand in front of her without her quite noticing how he did it, even though she was supposed to be the fast one. Then he was kissing her. Kissing her in a way that completely justified the half hour picking out clothing, the hour getting ready, the fifteen minutes arguing with her mother about getting the car, the half hour for the food...all that was worth it when Jacob kissed her like this.

Like she was special and beautiful and he never wanted to stop.

Her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck and she was on the tips of her toes because he was a lot taller than he should be, but he steadied her with rock solid hands. That made it easy to deepen the kiss, to explore every recess of his mouth as if she hadn't already committed every nook and cranny to memory...

"I've got to get you a stool," he muttered as he pulled back.

"Shut up."

They were both panting together, but she placed a light kiss on the corner of his mouth, pulling away before he could capture her lips again. Food _was_ more important.

As she turned away to pick up the bags, she called: "It's going to get cold."

"I love you," he sighed, inhaling the scent of fried food.

"Only because I make sure you're fed."

The house was small enough that they barely had to walk five feet before they were in the kitchen, bags deposited on the table. She was taking the cartons out when he put his hands on her hips, dragging her against him, back pressed firmly to his chest. Strong arms encircled her waist, effectively trapping her. When did that get hot?

Oh yeah. When Jake did it.

"And for other reasons," he murmured against her before nipping at her neck with his teeth, his tongue soothing the skin a second later. Good thing she healed fast because he wasn't always careful. Finally, something he wasn't perfect at. The rush of heat was only because her body was stupid.

"It's okay. This way I don't feel guilty for my reason."

"What reason?"

She turned around, laughing at his narrowed eyes. When she kissed him, he barely responded, still looking suspicious. Those beautiful abs twitched under her fingers as she traveled to the low hanging waistband of his jeans. Innocently playing with the button of his pants, she informed him:

"I only love you for your dick, Jake."

He had her up on the table before she could blink, mouth furious, making her moan before she could think to stop herself. Best part? She didn't have to because he was hers right now. So she whimpered against him when his hand slipped under her shirt and let her fingers dig into his hair, even as she wrapped her legs around him tighter because she wasn't letting go of him unless she had to.

"And maybe your mouth too," she added as he sucked on her earlobe. Then his hand was under her shirt, hot against her breast, so she had to add, "And your hands."

"You sure know how to make a guy feel special," he muttered.

The words upset her, because she thought he knew she was just joking. She really didn't—oh. Yeah, he probably had understood, or had taken them as a challenge, if the way he was suddenly completely pressed against her was any indication.

Running her hands down his back none too gently, Leah decided that Billy's kitchen table was as good a place as any so she got back to kissing him as hard as she could, even as she searched for the zipper of his pants. But the squeaking caught her attention, even though she could feel him everywhere.

"We're going to break the table," she gasped, pulling her mouth away.

"It can handle a lot."

"Jake..." She meant to laugh, but it came out a little too breathy.

Goodbye, breathing. One second she was sitting on the kitchen table, head straining upwards so she could make out with her impossibly incredible Alpha and the next she was sitting on nothing at all, staring down at him.

Those beautiful hands were cupping her ass, easily holding her up, but she tightened her legs anyway. Not too much, though she probably was strong enough to hold on to him with just her thighs, but she didn't want to hurt him. Instead, she let him keep her up.

"See? No table."

Jacob was horribly full of himself. Was that why she was suddenly more than a little horny?

"Show off," she muttered before she was kissing him again.

They balanced easily and she didn't even need to use her arms to hold herself to him, just pulled back and pulled the tank top up over her head. His fingers dug further into her rear. Good. The bra hadn't been cheap and he better appreciate it.

His mouth was on her collarbone, lingering just a bit, his destination clear. Even with him distracted, he never let her weight throw them off balance.

She loved him for his strength.

Not just his ability to lift her up like she was made of glass and not a giant who felt like an anvil, though that was pretty hot. Very hot, actually, that he didn't even seem to notice she wasn't the delicate girl she had once been but a monster with an extra fifty pounds. Like the old her had gone out and swallowed his stupid imprint. Eating little children is wrong, she reminded herself, and insulting her has gotten you in enough trouble for the week. Still, she was an extra half-vamp freak heavier than she had once been, but Jake wasn't fazed at all.

He wasn't fazed by anything. When he knew what he wanted there was nothing anyone could say that could stop him. Every move he made, even when he really should have no idea what it was supposed to be, he did with such easy confidence that even she was fooled some of the time and she knew better.

Whenever he told her he loved her—and he did that so ridiculously often she had actually started to get use to hearing it even though she knew how dangerous it was—he said the words like they were easy. It didn't matter that he should have known better, should have realized love didn't make anything permanent. That wasn't the way he talked. When he said 'I love you' he said it as if his Mom and Bella and Nessie hadn't given him detailed lessons about how the people you loved left you, resented you, didn't always want you the way you wanted them. How did he do that?

Leah didn't know. But she loved him because of it, anyway.

She also loved the way she could feel his mouth though the thin lace as he nuzzled her chest. It was so heavenly she almost missed the sound of his stomach growling. Almost. Stupid werewolf powers.

One hand was able to resist him long enough to search around behind her. Good thing everything around her was crap. Opening the carton one handed and blind was still possible. The spring roll was a greasy mess, but she grabbed hold of it and pulled back enough so she could shove it in his mouth.

"Eee-aa," Jacob whined.

"Don't speak with your mother full. Though you are sort of cute with your cheeks all fat and lumpy."

She kissed his jaw, but only once before he swatted her away. Denied that, she began licking the traces of grease off her fingers. Once he swallowed, he checked to make sure had got the last off her hand, nipping gently at her fingertips.

It was easy enough to see the battle going on inside him, two hungers striving for dominance. Losing to demon spawn all the time might be grating, but Leah didn't care that she would always come second to food. Hell, if she had to pick Jacob or a shish kabob, Jake wouldn't stand a chance.

"We've got all night," she told him. The Elders always had ridiculously long meetings.

That decided him. "Distract me," he sighed, putting her on the ground and reaching for another spring roll. "And put your shirt back on."

If he could go around shirtless, than she could to. Feminism at work. Because even werewolves could be a little civilized, she went to grab plates instead. Over her shoulder she called something certain to calm him down, even with her half naked. "I went with Embry to see the Cullens yesterday."

"How did that go?"

"Obviously, it was useless. But we were taking a break once, going over one of the old stories for the hundredth time and doesn't Esme interrupt. She wants to be helpful, so she corrects his pronunciation."

Jacob swore as she sat down. "Embry must have been pissed."

"So pissed. But the actual interesting part is that a century ago, or however long it was, she says Ephraim Black actually sat them down and told the Cullens some of the stories. So Edward knew your granddad—''

"No wonder he always treats me like a kid."

"_Anyway_, Embry asks her to tell him because he's a freak like that, but she says she didn't hear it herself. Fucking sexist back then too."

"How sad is it," Jacob said as they bypassed the plates and ate straight out of the cartons, "That in a hundred years the only people that are going to be able to speak Quileute are a pack of bloodsuckers?"

She pushed her chair beside him so she could rest her legs on his lap while they ate. Sure, he may have growled at the unnecessary physical contact—torture, whatever—but that didn't stop her. She liked it when he growled. Not only did it make her skin itch, but she could feel the vibrations _everywhere._

"Talk to Embry, not me. He spent the whole way back going on about it. I wish that nerd would hurry up and fuck him. Maybe if he got laid he would shut up."

"Hasn't your mouth gotten you in enough trouble lately?" The chicken ball didn't hit him as hard as she wanted. Leah sighed. Being a bitch was so much better when she didn't care who she pissed off. It wasn't her fault Embry's imprint with the missing a personality _and_ was so goddamn sensitive. At least she got sweet and sour sauce on Jake's shoulder and then she had no choice but to lean over to lick it off.

"Leah...talk to me about Embry."

She kissed the side of his neck and then leaned back. "What about your annoying friend?"

"Anything. Do we know why he keeps bitching about the Cullens? Besides the obvious evil leech thing they have going on?"

"Way to slaughter the mood and then dance a jig on its grave."

"What?" Jacob did something with his forehead that might have been actually furrowing. "What did I say?"

It wasn't MSG that was making her a little sick. "You don't actually know? How can you not actually know?"

"If I did I wouldn't be asking," he rolled his eyes. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I just thought...I thought you knew."

"If I knew his problem, then I would have fixed it by now."

Yeah, Leah might have been a little crazy in love with him, but she was pretty sure even Jacob Black couldn't build time machines. And undoing the past was the only thing to fix this.

"What if you can't?"

"Let me be the judge. Tell me," he ordered.

Leah rested her head on his shoulder. "Do you remember my twenty-first birthday?"

It only sounded random, but she didn't have to explain because he knew she had a point. Even if he didn't quite follow it.

"Yeah. You were wearing that gray dress with those black boots and you ordered me not to say anything about how you looked."

Because he had looked so appreciative that she knew she wouldn't be able to handle hearing him say the words. Not back then when she still had to pretend that she didn't give a shit about what he thought.

"Do you remember anything besides me?" He pretended to think, which made her laugh, which made it impossible for her to resist kissing him just once more. "Why did you even come?"

"My official reason was you were part of my pack and I couldn't let you celebrate such an important milestone by yourself. My real reason...you're going to hit me, but I don't care. I couldn't stand the thought of anyone looking at you the way I wanted to. The way I couldn't."

"So you and the three stooges showed up on my door and just expected to be invited along?"

"Pretty much. It was a good plan. You did invite us."

Only because her friends had taken one look at the four ripped men standing at her door and demanded Leah let them come. Only because it was her birthday and she was feeling generous—and because Jake hadn't taken his puppy dog eyes off her the whole time she had scolded them for showing up unannounced—did she relent. She hadn't even mentioned that the boys were all under nineteen, partially because of her good mood and partially because no one would have believed her. At the club, she was the only one who got carded. Only when two of her friends had tried to take her sixteen-year-old brother home with them at the end of the night had she put a stop to the charade. Stupid kid brother.

"I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you that night," Leah said quietly. Apologizing for all the times she had insulted or hurt him would probably keep her busy for the next decade or so, but she could do some of the big stuff when it came up.

Jacob shrugged. "I get it. At the time...at the time it sucked. But I get it."

That's what he got for being so attentive, so funny and charming that she couldn't take her eyes off him. Friends started making jokes about her and her boyfriend and all she could think about was the littlest leech. She had practically pushed him onto the dance floor with the first hussy that was stupid enough to ask even though Leah was sitting right there and had done everything but paste a sign on his forehead that declared 'Mine'.

"Thanks."

"And I remember you came to my rescue anyway. That's what I remember about that night. Dancing with you."

His eyes got darker, if that was possible, and she shivered, wishing she had put on her shirt. That was usually all she remembered about that night, too.

It was the only part she wanted to remember. Sitting with her friends and Embry and Quil, trying to get drunk so she wouldn't have to watch him dance with someone else, that wasn't something she liked thinking about. Seth was with some of her other friends, dancing nearby and then some idiot had come up to Embry and asked for his help. She told him not to wear black—he looked too much like a bouncer. Hell, the four guys were bigger than the bouncers and it was only because Leah had a whole lot of really hot, obviously easy friends that no one had made a big deal about letting the sort of scary gang into the club.

When Embry had gone, because he was too much of a pushover not to, and someone—Jennifer, maybe—had passed out on the seat beside her, Leah had found herself unable to stop staring at her stupid, oblivious, _gorgeous _Alpha.

"You should help him."

Back then, Quil's voice made her jump three feet into the air. Staring had so consumed her that she had forgot the other pack member was still around.

"Help who?"

Like she had looked at another guy since Jake had shown up. But Quil didn't say that; he didn't say much at all, except give her the excuse she had been desperately wanting. "Jake. He's miserable out there. You should go rescue him."

A glance at the dance floor—it was always easy for her to pick him out, even when he wasn't a foot taller than everyone—showed he looked the same as he had as before. "He looks happy to me. You go get him."

"I'm a guy. I know he doesn't want to be dancing with her and I can't stop it. You're a girl." Then Quil's voice got quiet. "You're his beta. Go help him. Do your duty."

Duty. He had even gift-wrapped her excuse. She was only being a good beta, not a controlling, over-possessive stalker. Duty. Leah gave Quil a tiny smile, not sure if he knew the value of what he had just said and knowing that it was only because he seemed so oblivious that she could listen to him. The she headed for the dance floor.

How she got rid of the other girl wasn't important. Probably with a snarl, maybe with some pushing, but it didn't matter because then he was looking down at her, questioningly, uncertain, but willing to follow her lead. It was her birthday. She let herself take a step closer.

Some people might say it wasn't possible, what they did. Maybe for humans it wasn't. They wouldn't be able to stand close enough to feel the other's body heat and yet to always keep that last bit of space between them. Humans wouldn't be able to know where their partner would be the next second; humans would crash into each other. Humans wouldn't be able to resist the force of the pressing crowd. But they weren't completely human and somehow they managed to dance together without ever touching.

Except when he took her hand at the end, leading her to the side where they could joke and tease and act like it hadn't changed anything, like her body wasn't still humming from just the thought of him beside her. Leah concentrated on remembering that feeling because the next part of the story still made her a little sick and no amount of love or lust or even like could ever make it completely better.

"Embry came up to us after we finished dancing. Remember? He had found out about that guy. The college student. The one who died." Jacob still didn't remember, so she added: "The one Zafrina killed."

"They stepped up security afterwards. It's never happened again," he told her. It might not have been clear to him why, but he was pleading with her. Like she had the power to make it all right, as if something could. Leah just reached for another chicken wing.

"That's what you promised him, that night. You believed in the Cullens. He said it wasn't good enough." As much as Leah hated to say it, Embry was right. It wasn't enough. "He insisted we do something. You told him the Cullens had told you they'd take care of it."

_They told you? Since when are you a trained poodle, Jake? We have to do something! There's a boy out there who never had a chance and you just want to stand here? What the hell is wrong with you? They told you...?_

She still caught Embry thinking it sometimes, hating the words. He didn't want to accept that Jacob would just let the vampires get away with that, just so Nessie could enjoy a few pretty pictures. He wanted justice. Leah understood there wasn't any such thing. What could Jake do? Kill Zafrina? The Cullens would protect their friend, their friend who had powerful Coven of her own. Kill the Cullens? It would be easier for Jacob to kill himself than raise a hand to the Cullens. There was nothing he could do and the rest of them couldn't act without him.

For the first night in his life, Embry had gotten shitfaced. He was such a cliché that he probably muttered _Out, damn'd spot! out, I say! _before he went to sleep every night.

"He's mad they let Zafrina get away with it?" Jacob asked.

Of course it fell to her to kill the last of whatever innocence he had. She was cursed that way. "He's mad _we_ let them get away with it. He's mad we're guilty by association. He never wanted to be a killer."

Jacob flinched, like she had expected him to. Denial was his favorite place to live, but he would see the way things were if you explained it enough.

"I'm sorry. I never wanted you—"

"I don't care," she lied. "But Embry does. I think that's why he needs them gone so bad."

Embry thought if they left the werewolves could wash the blood off their hands. Embry was a fucking idiot. Blood didn't come off. She should know—she still saw her father's eyes before she went to sleep.

"And you want me to be Chief," Jake snorted.

It was like she had kicked a puppy. She cringed, hating the look on his face. It wasn't his fault, it was the stupid vampires—stupid fucking Bella—who just wouldn't leave him alone. If they would just stay away, he would be okay. He wouldn't have to be a monster. None of them would have to be monsters.

"Maybe that's why. Sam would never have looked the other way...not even for the people he loved."

Jacob stared at her and maybe that hadn't come out quite as reassuring as she had meant it to. This whole Oprah-thing was beyond Leah's capabilities. All the touchy-feely genes in the Clearwater pool had gone straight to her baby brother. Leah was stuck winging it all the time.

There was nothing she could say that would make it better—'one day Embry will just forget that he doesn't think you're worth becoming a murderer for' probably wasn't going to work—so she leaned over and kissed him, instead.

"I thought he understood," Jacob muttered, pulling back. "I thought he got that there's nothing else I can do. What the hell am I supposed to say to him now?"

"Nothing. You're not supposed to say anything. You're getting rid of them. That's all he wants. I don't want to talk about Embry anymore. Jeez, Jake, even Sam would have gotten the hint by now."

The mention of Sam worked like she intended it to. She wasn't the only crazy jealous psycho in this relationship. He had pulled her completely on his lap, mouth on hers and then his hands were on the back of her bra, searching for the clasp. She knocked them down. The whole point of digging out the matching panties was so he could see her in both. She pushed his hands to her waist instead, even as she sucked her way along his neck.

"The food can wait," she murmured.

Verbal agreement seemed beyond him, but he picked her up, bridal style, and she figured that was a yes. Especially since they were heading to his bedroom. Since they were alone, he didn't bother closing the door, just lay her down on his bed, kissing her hard enough to bruise before he began searching around under the bed for that stupid fucking no good dirty rotten box.

One box to represent everything that was wrong with her. Freaky barren female werewolf who couldn't get pregnant but was still scary enough that Jacob felt the need to protect himself against her anyway. Sometimes it took everything she had not to scream when she saw him pull it out. Why did he have to try and be considerate when she was broken?

To distract herself from the stupid condoms, she pulled off her skirt. If she still had her hair, she would have been something else, burning black and white and red, hot enough to scare even an Alpha wolf into submission. Now, she had work a little harder. He wasn't quite fully on the bed when she pounced.

His hands easily went to her hips, her back, kneading her breasts, her ass, anything he could hold onto as she savaged his lips. She was on top and he couldn't handle that, so he rolled them over. So she rolled them right off the bed.

Jacob took the force of the fall. Quickly sitting up, in case she had done more than knock the wind out of him, Leah surveyed the man lying underneath her.

Fifteen was a little unfair—seventeen, at the very least.

The lightness with which he touched her made her gasp, his fingers almost velvet against her stomach. As he traced her sides, she found herself blushing. Weird, because the whole point of tonight was for him to see her like this. That's when he sat partially up, so his face was inches from hers and she was perched on his thighs.

"Is it too sappy if I say you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen?" he asked, kissing the side of her face. His lips were so feather light she almost didn't feel them.

"Just a little bit. But I'll let you get away with it. Only once," she added, trying to sound threatening. It was hard to sound _anything_ with her heart pounding like that. "Now take off your damn pants."

"I love it when you get bossy."

Really? She pushed him to the floor and he laughed, letting her slowly run her hands down that made-in-someplace-so-much-better-than-China chest, all the way down to the jeans. As slowly as she could she—

"Jake! Are you here?" Seth's voice sounded like it was still outside. "Jake, your doorbell's broken, again."

Leah jumped up so fast she almost pulled a muscle. But at least the door was shut. Not that Seth would have seen anything if he was still by the front door. Whoever designed this house had just saved her little brother from years of therapy.

Grabbing her skirt, she tried to get dressed. It was too much to hope Seth wouldn't try opening the door at the very least and since Jacob hadn't bothered to tell her to lock it behind her...they were so screwed.

"Where's my shirt?"

"In the kitchen." That at least got him moving. From under his bed, Jacob produced the shirt she had worn over before a patrol a few weeks before. What else did he have down there? Boys. So gross. "Will he know the difference?"

"No. He—could you get up and stop him from coming in?"

"Even Seth is going to notice..." he looked down at the denim tent in his pants and blushed. He was too cute. Leah crouched back down and kissed him quickly, before shrugging on her slightly dusty shirt. "Tell him I went to the garage for something."

"Sure," she muttered, hurrying from the room. Seth had just thought to try the handle when she reached the door. There was no helping the almost-sex hair (short hair sucked monkey nuts) but Seth wasn't the brightest of boys. "What are you doing here, reject?"

"Mom's out and you weren't home. I got hungry," Seth shrugged. "Where's Jake?"

"He thought Billy might have hid some beer in the garage. We were having Chinese. We might have enough for you, but you owe me fifteen bucks."

"Where am I supposed to get—fine. Just give me the food."

They argued over cartons and plates until Jacob showed up, carrying beer because he actually listened when she spoke. It also gave her time to kick her shirt under the table where hopefully Seth wouldn't notice. Seth enthusiastically greeted his favorite person on the planet, while Leah munched on more chicken wings and tried to will Seth to spontaneously combust. Even with a shirt on and his hair more or less patted down, all Leah could think of when she looked at Jake was sex. Ugh. She was more than a walking hormone. She had to be because Seth didn't look like he was planning to explode. Or leave.

Her idiot little brother just stayed put. He didn't notice anything at all as he ate his way through their food or their time together. Jacob managed to play with her hand for most of the meal and it still completely missed Seth's attention. Only when they settled down to watch TV did Seth finally acknowledge that Leah and Jacob were something other than friends.

"You two aren't going to do anything too disgusting over there?" he asked. They had claimed the couch, while her brother got the armchair.

"Don't look," Jacob shrugged.

It was one of the few indications he had given that he was just as pissed over the interruption as she was. But Seth was her brother, so she elbowed Jacob gently in the stomach even as he lay down behind her.

"Gross," Seth muttered.

Loser, Leah sighed.

At least she didn't have to worry about not touching Jake anymore. No, she could lie down and feel him pressed firmly against her, broad chest to her back, legs tangled with her so the rough jeans tickled her bare legs, his hips just behind hers...

His hand was on her rear before she had done anything besides wiggle. "Stop it," he muttered, while she tried not to laugh.

Leah could be nice. She took his hand, folded their fingers together and settled back to watch the movie. It was his turn to be mean.

"Rachel said she'd take Billy to the hospital on Friday. He has to stay overnight for tests. So I'm going to be home, all alone, all night." She shivered as he kept muttering in her ear. "Unless you wanted to come over."

He didn't even bother making it a question. She let him kiss her slowly, quietly, before she answered, "Sure."

Two days was nothing compared to two years. And until then...his thumb was grazing the underside of her breast.

If only she had been born an only child.


	6. Chapter 4: The Beach

A/N: This chapter drove me nuts. But it's now out of my system, so maybe the rest will come easier. Oh, and this took place before the interlude. Sorry about any confusion.

...

Chapter 4: The Beach

...

I love Marian, but she's sort of crazy.

In the best sense, of course. She's perfect, so if she's a little insane, it can only be in the best way. Maybe I shouldn't call my girlfriend nuts for wanting to meet my friends but...my friends? They aren't really the sort of people you should want to meet.

Jacob and Quil might be the best friends a guy could ask for, but I've known them for a little too long and neither one is what I would call discreet. Basically, if it pops into their tiny, tiny brains, they say it out loud. Repeatedly. I'll admit that I do the same thing to them, but that's not going to make it less awkward when they start telling my soul mate all about the time in second grade when I followed Susan Davis around the school for a week until she started crying—it was just an misunderstanding, but they aren't going to bring that part up.

My best friends can be counted on to have my back in a fight, but they can also be counted on to make comments that are their pathetic attempts at innuendo but are really just plain crude. They don't mean to be offensive, it just comes out. It might be the brain damage. We might want to stop fighting all the time.

But at least Jacob and Quil aren't scary. Crass, rough and maybe a bit annoying, but Marion will like them eventually. They'll be friends, not good friends, but friends. That's why Jacob and Quil aren't the real problem.

Those damn Clearwaters.

If they hadn't been part of the pack first, I wouldn't even bother letting Marian meeting them until much, much later. But they were here first—and they aren't going to let me or Quil ever forget it, even if Seth did agree to become the lowest ranked member of the pack—and there's no ignoring them.

No one in his or her right mind wants to meet Leah Clearwater. Having Marian grow up outside La Push is really a disadvantage—most people our age, from the simple fact that there aren't that many of us in the first place, have heard enough about Leah to know that she's a scary demon woman that cannot be killed by weapons made by mere mortals. Staying away from her is the best bet.

Maybe I still have more issues with Leah than I want to admit. Despite how well we've been getting along recently (no screaming matches and no physical confrontations, just a bit of name calling) I wasn't able to sleep at all last night imagining all the terrible things she was going to say to Marian. She can't help it. Being a bitch just comes naturally to her.

Plus, we spent all of yesterday unable to come up with a fool-proof plan to get her quasi-boyfriend away from his two year old imprint. Add that to the fact we left the Cullens around three in the morning after a long night of research. A cranky Leah (normal Leah, I suppose) is a nightmare.

Marian will be lucky if she doesn't burst into tears. It's frightening, the effect Leah has on other women, even when she's not present. I'll never forget, in freshmen year, how Jake's then-crush absolutely flipped when he mentioned he couldn't go out because 'Leah and Seth' might be coming over. She must have asked him a hundred times how he got on a first name basis with Leah Clearwater and the friend of the family excuse didn't really appease her. He spent the rest of high school saying 'Leah Clearwater' like it was going out of style. She doesn't even have to be around to be intimidating.

And today she's going to be around _and_ cranky. Lucky for Marian, I'll defend her to the death. It might just come to that.

All that and Seth is the one I'm most worried about.

Because he isn't going to make Marian cry, or embarrassed, or uncomfortable. He is going to make Marian feel welcome and safe and loved, because that's what Seth does. After Seth gets through with her, Marian will be feel happier than she has in years.

It's horrible.

Since Seth doesn't have an imprint of his own, he seems to think it's his responsibility to practice on every woman he meets. Which wouldn't be a problem, except he's so goddamn good at it. It comes naturally for him, the whole soulful devotion thing, and he's had a lot more practice than me. She's my imprint, but I'm not sure how comprehensive my explanation was. When he acts the same way towards her than only I'm supposed to, is she really going to understand that it's the two of us who belong together?

Worst part? He has no idea he's doing that. I could kick his ass from here to Forks and he would frown and sincerely apologize. And Marian would sigh that the kid is really something sweet.

She's crazy enough to want to meet my friends, but I love her, so I show up at her house at exactly ten thirty and knock on her door. If she wants to meet my friends, she gets to meet my friends.

"Good morning, Embry."

Maybe I should be scared of the tall man with thick black hair who comes to the door, face weathered by a life well lived, but I'm not. I'm half a foot taller, fifty pounds of muscle stronger, and Aaron's completely amazing.

"Good morning, sir. Is Marian home?"

"Almost ready. Would you like to come in and have some coffee?"

"Thank you, sir."

Not only is Marian the greatest girl on the planet, she also happens to have the greatest father in the universe. Aaron's pretty incredible, and not just because he hasn't killed me for basically stalking his daughter until she agrees to by my wife.

When I started hanging around Marian, he just sat me down and we had a chat, man to man. He laid out the rules, I agreed to them, we bonded over the fact that Marian was the most important thing in the world to us. It was awesome.

That's why we're deep in conversation about my studies—I'm trying to explain how to calculate centripetal force because he's curious about stuff like that—when Marian comes down the stairs.

Did I mention she's perfect?

Not enough.

Even if the only part of her I can see today is the tiny bit around her eyes, framed by a fluffy white hate and scarf. She's got the biggest, greenest coat I've ever seen on (it brings out her eyes) and looks more like a bush than a human being.

"Do you think I'll be warm enough?" she asks. Only werewolf hearing allows me to understand her through the layers of clothing.

"Maybe you should put on another jacket."

She turns to do just that, so I reach out and grab her hand. "It's not even below fifty."

"It's colder by the water," she reminds me. "And some of us have to dress weather appropriately."

"That's why I brought you blankets in the car. Okay?" She nods and the smile I've been holding back this entire time breaks through. "If you're that cold now, what are you going to do when the snow comes?"

"Move to Florida," she says sweetly.

My heart stops just a little, but she notices and squeezes my hand to let me know she's just joking. Did I mention I love her?

"You two better go," Aaron reminds us. "Drive safely."

"Of course, sir. Have a good day."

I shut the door firmly behind us as Marian skips to the door. The two thick braids on either side of her head bounce up and down as she tries to keep herself warm. The laughter bubbles up before I can stop it, because she's just too beautiful.

She grabs me as I walk by, forcing me to kiss her against my mom's car. "You don't have to keep sucking up to my dad," she says between kisses. "He likes you already."

"I'm not sucking up. I'm making a good impression."

"Right." We have to push her scarf down so it stops getting in our mouths. "Why did we have to meet your friends on a beach? I'm going to freeze."

Because on the beach there are lots of activities to distract my friends so they aren't annoying.

"I'll keep you warm," I promise.

She tucks her head under my chin and I wonder if life can get any better than this or if the smart thing to do is just die now that I've got it all. Marian makes some sort of sigh—so what if I have a goofy smile on my face?—and murmurs into me, "You're very good at that."

I kiss her nose and then usher her into the car. The drive back to La Push is an easy one and we spend it arguing over music; she wins and I get stuck listening to techno-crap that is going to drive the pack crazy later on.

"There they are," I say as we get out of the car.

"Oh. They look...like it's summer."

I grin and take her gloved hand. "They don't mind the cold, unlike some people I know."

"So your friends are as crazy as you." She's trying to make a joke, but she's too nervous. "Are they nice?"

"Very," I lie. "Come on."

The pack already has everything set up. There's two huge blankets set up on the mostly empty beach—it's too cold for most humans—with a couple of picnic baskets and a whole pile of sports equipment. Quil promised to bring every piece of athletic gear he could find for distraction purposes and to bodily carry off the female werewolf if it gets really bad. I don't think it's going to come to that, but it's best to be prepared.

The only reason the guys still have their shirts on is to keep up appearances. I'm a little warm with the cotton t-shirt on and I bet they are too. Leah's tank top is going to look ridiculous beside Marian's parka, but there's nothing I can do about it now.

Seth, Quil and Leah are seated on the blankets playing catch, while Jacob lies sprawled out behind Leah, sneaking food when she's not looking. He gets two elbows in the ribs as Marian and I approach, but also five crackers and a good sized hunk of cheese in his mouth, so it's totally worth it. Seth is the one that notices us approaching, calling out a greeting.

"You're late," Quil informs me. Seth's already hugging me, but I brush the kid off and pull Marian to the blanket. Quil gives me a reassuring pat on the back as I direct myself towards Jake and Leah. She's leaning half on top of him, preventing him from getting up, but at least Leah is smiling. It makes her look less demonic.

"Guys," I announce, "This is Marian. Marian, these are the guys."

"And I'm Leah."

I flip off the female werewolf who is never going to give me a break, even as I wrap my arms around Marian and begin the one-on-one introductions. Sure, there are more inappropriate jokes than I would like, but nothing too offensive. Seth even gets Marian smiling easily within the first few minutes. Of course.

"Can we eat now?" Jacob begs Leah.

She just laughs and looks at Marian. "Are you going to be able to chew with all that gear on?"

"Or would you like us to build you a fire or something?" Seth asks.

"I'm actually warming up, thanks."

She even takes off the hat and scarf to prove it—Leah's staring a little, but I hope it's just a once over thing and not a 'I'm going to make your life hell' thing.

"Excellent," Jake says as he snatches at the picnic basket.

"I hope you left something in there," Leah says.

"There's lots."

"As long as we like crumbs?"

"And fruit."

Not that anyone was silly enough to pack fruit. We're carnivores, after all. We eat meat and sugar and lots of baked goods. There's enough food to get us through half the day and we all dig in with abandon. Marian gets first choice, but after she's served herself it's a brawl. Loser starves. The rules are that simple.

"So, Marian," Seth asks my imprint between bites, "Embry said you're a music major? Does that mean you can play instruments and stuff?"

Once the topic is singing, she has an easier time opening up. She even manages to unzip the horrendous parka and relax. The guys are all behaving pretty well, which means I've never seen them this subdued before, but Marian's calm and that's all that matters. Leah's mostly silent, which is probably the best I can hope for. The second the bitch opens her mouth problems ensue.

I hate being right all the time.

After we finish eating, Seth runs into the ocean to wash his hands. Marian barely restrains herself from wondering if he's crazy. I can see the others want to follow suit, but they understand that normal people do not want to be swimming right now. Instead, we sit around jabbering away, and somehow Marian manages to get Leah talking about what she was up to Saturday night.

"Well, I could have spent it having fun," she says, glaring at Jake who somehow got his hand on her hip, pushing up her shirt. I know Seth is off playing with the waves but Quil and I are still here, asshole. Too bad telepathy doesn't work as humans. "But instead I spend it reading with Embry, or playing games with the little half-breed. Because apparently playing catch with Jacob isn't fun if Aunty Leah isn't involved."

"With who?" Marian asks.

I squeeze tighter, hoping I'm the only one who noticed the pained tone and also hoping for a miracle—maybe Leah will shut up before she manages to make someone cry.

Jacob is growling at her, but he does that all the time. It's their idea of foreplay. He hasn't noticed the problem either, so he can't stop Leah as she smirks and begins to list off: "The creature from the Loch Ness, the half-breed freakazoid who shouldn't have been born, the spawn from the prince of darkness and princess of dull, the..."

Leah is still talking but she's starting to notice things, looking at Marian with dawning understanding. Jacob and Quil, too, are looking at my imprint and for the first time they see even as Leah babbles out insults she could say in her sleep.

They see her skin is a shade lighter than mine as if I had stayed in the sun a few days longer, her eyes are a green that is rarely seen in La Push, her features are ever so slightly dissimilar from theirs. They see for the first time and finally realize what it means, why they've never seen Marian around the reservation despite living on it their lives.

They know why she started at Leah's off-repeated insult of Nessie.

There are different types of hybrids.

Before Leah can stop talking, making the moment even more awkward, Seth appears. He's heard the whole exchange and easily comes to his sister's rescue, running down the beach to us and pulling on Marian's arm.

"Come on," he says excitedly. "Let's make a sand castle."

"You brought the bucket?" Quil asks. He's not going to stick around if he doesn't have to.

As the three of them walk away, Jacob mutters, "I told you insulting Nessie all the time was going to bite you in the ass one day."

"Shut up," she snaps. He was teasing but she sounds livid when she turns to me. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't think it was important." She's not the only one that can get angry.

"She acted like it was important. I can't believe you didn't warn me."

Jacob sits up and kisses her cheek. "You didn't know, Leah. Embry's not mad and we'll make her see you didn't mean it. Stop beating yourself up about it. Just remember this moment the next time you want to abuse Nessie."

"You started the name-calling," she mutters, still sitting rigidly on the blanket. "This sucks. Why am I like imprint kryptonite?"

"Your pleasant personality?" I suggested.

"Screw you."

"Let's not do this," Jacob interrupts. "Marian going to be okay? Do you need to talk to her?"

"After."

"Okay. Before or after Leah apologizes?"

Leah rolls her eyes and leans back into him. "Who are you, my mother?"

"Sue would have already boxed your ears."

"Don't remind me. I can't believe I'm going to get stuck just calling her sparkling spawn." He growls as she gives a small smile. It became more of a grimace when she looked at me. "I will apologize. I am sorry."

She is, even though she doesn't understand. None of them understand, but I'm not going to blame them for it.

They don't even think about it, it's so ingrained in them, like the ground always underneath their feet. You can't get more Quileute than Ateara, Black and Clearwater. They've never thought about it, it's such a natural part of who they are.

Seth may be the only one of them who is conscious of this identity. Funny, because Seth is happily skipping through life, but I think he is aware of the sight and feel and the history of the earth below him. The others take it for granted. Maybe because of his father who loved the land or his mother who is more proud of it than anyone I've ever met, or that he was only fourteen when he was left with only one parent, but somehow I think Seth knows. He doesn't mindlessly repeat the old words like the others but says them with conviction.

But they all know them, learned them at their father's knee and they've improved since they could read each other's minds—I've learned it now too, the Quileute language of my unknown father.

I don't begrudge them always having a place to stand or knowledge of their fathers and forefathers. Not even before, back when we were kids and some guys would give me a hard time, telling me to get back to _my_ people, that I didn't belong. I was the Makah bastard. I wasn't worthy.

The day I became a werewolf, the day I found out I was more Quileute than all the jerks that had called me names, the day I found out my mother's blood was second to my father's, I was more angry than I had ever been before. Part of that was the rage that facilitated the transformation and part was the feeling of having been duped my whole life.

Of all the names they gave me—bastard, illegitimate freak, son of a whore—the boy from Makah was the one that gave me comfort. And being a werewolf took that away from me.

There was nothing left under my feet.

No one in the pack could really help, either. To them, it was like gravity. Who they were was always there.

So Leah feels terrible because she saw Marian's face and Leah is a bitch but she isn't mindlessly cruel; her hatred is precise, her insults cut deep because she plans them that way. She wants to take back the words because they were thoughtless, but not because she understands.

Marian understands. She understands always hearing the whispers, feeling the baseless hatred, never having a firm place to stand. Our love of lemon sherbet makes us compatible, but it's knowing what it's like when love isn't there that binds us together.

"It's okay, Leah," I agree. "Just don't let it happen again."

She rolls her eyes. "Obviously. What's her story, anyway? So I know what else I can't say."

I sigh, but I should have told them before because she belongs to us all now and they want to know how to take care of her properly.

The story isn't a long one or particularly unique. Knowing that doesn't make Marian's life easier.

Like most tragedies it starts out with a boy and a girl. She lives in Forks, he lives in La Push. They are young, in love, careless. Afterwards, they get married. Already scared, she asks to stay with her people. He loves her. He agrees—he's a bit of a fool. Because when she's young, stupid and hormonal, things get said to nagging mother-in-laws that shouldn't be.

No one ever takes it well when they think they've been told they aren't good enough. You don't get welcomed back with opened arms if you call someone second best even if you go back on bended knees and say whatever you think they want to hear because you didn't mean it, not really, and you can't stand thinking you put that look in his eye. But sometimes, people leave and don't get to come back.

All that's left is the stories he tells his daughter, stories of a people he thinks don't want her anymore. I hate to think it, but maybe he's right.

"You mean your imprint is also a—" Leah chokes it down. Wow. Leah can be smart sometimes. I think I'd punch her in the face if she said it out loud. "Well, I guess I can't tease you about that in front of her anymore."

"Jake should have let the vamp crush you," I mutter for the hundredth time.

That shuts her up. Finally, she starts looking as ashamed as I need her to be so I don't feel guilty for not telling them in the first place. She takes Jacob's hand instead. When their fingers interlock, you can't tell whose is who, the color is so exactly the same. I wonder if she could do the same with me; I doubt it somehow.

Jacob is sitting up completely now, his head on her shoulder. He's watching Marian play with Quil and Seth, his expression thoughtful. He suggests, "We could take her out next week. Just the four of us. Put her at ease again."

"You want me to go on a double date with Embry? Jake, you're so romantic."

Leah looks up at me, finally, and gives me a tentative smile. I feel a bit silly. They were always going to accept her. Their faces make it clear. She's already family; they just wants to make it better because they don't ever want her hurt.

"Words I could have lived my whole life without hearing," I muttered. The three of us laugh, tension released. "What about Friday?"

"I'm free," Leah shrugs.

Jacob hesitates. "How about Thursday instead? I think Billy's got some tests or something Friday that I have to take him to."

"Sounds good," I say. "We were going to go out then anyway."

Yes, I try and get her to go out with my every day of the week. Why would I want to spend time away from the center of my world? I don't notice how quiet we've gotten, watching the other three play, until Jacob breaks the silence, making me jump.

"It's weird," he says at last. "Marian's half Quileute, Emily's half-Quileute, half-Makah while Claire's entire family is from Makah. Meanwhile Nessie is..."

He drifts off as Leah laughs. "Different."

"Thank you. But Kim's Quileute and you don't get much more Quileute than Rachel."

"Actually," Leah says, "I think Kim's grandmother was from some northern tribe."

"Whatever. It just seems strange that if imprinting is done to pass on our genes, were looking at a pretty wide range of people."

I jump in. "Genetic differences between us and those from Makah is probably minimal, but you're right that Nessie really shouldn't have the same genetic markers as the other girls. Maybe she does have it—but if the werewolf gene is that wide-ranging, why would we even need to imprint in the first place?"

"You're thinking Sam's wrong?" Leah looks between the two of us. "You're thinking imprinting isn't to carry on the line?"

The two of us think about it. Is that what we're trying to say? I'm thinking my background in genetics is shaky at best, but I have to notice all the werewolves are from the same families—we're all basically third or fourth cousins or possible half-brothers—and if we're connected genetically then why shouldn't our future wives share similar characteristics? Or since all the men are from the same ancestor, is it biological necessity that the women be completely unrelated?

But that's not how you breed animals and I might hate the metaphor, but sometimes it's the only thing that applies. You don't bring in other bloodlines. Not for breeding. Weird how I'd rather be bred like a dog than apply the human term. Breeding might be demeaning, but eugenics is just ugly.

Jacob has a vested interest in proving it's not about genes, no matter which word you use. If imprinting is about carrying on the line or creating bigger wolves than it's all about sex. Nessie is two. Jacob would be very happy to learn that his relationship with her is going to remain as is, that he isn't helping to raise a girl who he will one day be sexually attracted to. He needs Sam and Billy to be wrong if he wants to get to sleep at night.

There's a story in Greek mythology about a man named Pygmalion who was sort of a prick but a hell of a sculptor and he created a beautiful woman out of ivory. He fell in love with his own creation and would have wasted away except the gods took pity on him and brought the statue to life.

Shaw wrote a play with the same name and this play became a movie that Marian's made me watch—it's got singing in it. And in the movie a professor takes a rough and tumble flower seller and turns her into a lady and falls in love with her. She rejects him but eventually they are reconciled. But in Shaw's play—and I read he was very insistent on this point—the girl rejects her maker and runs off with some poor sap. I guess Shaw knew; you don't want to fuck the man that made you (fuck him over, sometimes, or fuck with him, but not just fuck him). You love your creator but you don't want him—if he needs you to, the gratitude will let you fake it, but if part of your life is spent being carved by one man, why would you stay with him once you had the freedom to start carving yourself?

In the original myth, the statue comes to life for the sole purpose of loving him. The statue never had a chance.

More depressing, but not less valid, is the question: Does anybody?

"Maybe," I say. "Dr. Cullen would be the one to ask. Maybe even get him to run some tests. Later tonight. Do you guys want to go play Frisbee?"

We get up and call the others over. Seth sticks to his castle but the rest of us play. We're careful not to throw the Frisbee too hard at Marian, but eventually Quil runs down the beach and tells Jacob to do his worse. Leah goes to mock Seth and his castle and I wrap my arms around Marian's waist and kiss her frozen ear and whisper:

"She was talking about a dog."

Serves the leeches right.

"What?"

"Jacob bought Leah a dog. Half poodle, half westie. It was ridiculously cute, but he was supposed to buy only a pure poodle so Leah couldn't stand it. She's a bitch but she's not going to hurt you. You're family now."

She doesn't trust it, though she smiles in a way that makes my heart beat double time. It's hard to believe in fairy tales when they've never happened to you. I was lucky. I could read their minds and see for sure they would never hurt me. She doesn't have that certainty, but we'll make her see.

"You're a strange man, Embry Call," she says finally. "With strange friends. Don't break my heart."

"I don't think that's even possible," I say cheerfully. "So what do you think of them so far?"

"They seem nice. Seth's really a welcoming person, isn't he?"

"Yeah."

He might be taller than me, but I bet I could still whip him if I was pissed.

...


	7. Chapter 5: The Slip

...

Chapter 5: The Slip

...

A week later, Nessie's on another continent.

Nothing works. Not the rituals, not the chants, not the closing your eyes and wishing really hard that Quil said couldn't hurt to try. Nothing works so Jacob accompanies Nessie to the airport and kisses her cheeks and tries to pretend this doesn't kill him because Leah's watching, but she can't help know what his pained smile means.

Nothing works and it really does kill part of him to watch Nessie leave, no matter how tightly he clings to Leah's hand. It kills him, but not enough to set him free. He's on the phone for three hours when Bella calls to tell him they've landed safely.

Seth keeps saying it's only been a week, that we shouldn't worry, but no one's listening to him. Time shouldn't matter. It's the ideas we try and we've tried the most likely. Everything Old Quil came up with, everything we came up with, everything the Cullens came up with, we've tried. Each item we tick off the list, the remaining possibilities become less and less likely. Seth can look on the bright and shiny side all he wants, but the fact remains that there's only so much we can do before we're stuck.

There's no contingency plan for when we fail, but we can all guess. The first to admit the truth is going to shatter the pact of mutually assured destruction and we're just going to have to head to the shelters because the only result is going to be nuclear winter. After the bombs are finished, there's not going to be much of a pack left.

On happier news, Marian let me go to third base.

Marian survived meeting my friends and said she was even eager to get closer to them—I probably should take her to get her head examined. Add that to her other news... it would have been a feat of herculean proportions to keep my hands (etc.) off of her. So I didn't try.

We're celebrating today, just in a more viewer appropriate way. We have to be, since Seth showed up at my house at eight this morning. Leah was in Seattle; Jake and Quil weren't going to be up for another four hours. So despite the fact I kind of wanted to chain the kid to my front porch while I went to pick up my girlfriend, I just brought him along.

Marian was happy to see him again.

Of course.

The punk kid is _this_ _close_ to death, I swear.

"You're scowling again," Marian says. She's walking beside me as we wander through the grocery store. Seth is pushing the cart after us, as we wander up and down the aisles, arm in arm. Except the fact there's a hint of rotting something in the air, I am perfectly happy.

"I am not."

"You are too. It makes you look scary," she teases.

"Like the Big Bad Wolf is going to get you?"

I wrap my arms around her as she giggles, sort-of-not-really trying to escape. Then she kisses me and I resolve that I'm never going to let go.

"If I wanted to see that, I'd hang around Jake and Leah," Seth calls out. I give him the finger, even as Marian pulls away. Why did I bring him?

Oh, yeah. I can cook all right, but baking is beyond me. I need him to stick around after Marian goes home once we're finished here. Aaron's taking the family out for lunch, because he's that great.

"Just get the cake mix and let's go," I say, as I take Marian's hand.

"You don't have to bake me a cake," Marian says once again as Seth protests, "You're seriously getting cake mix? Classy, Embry."

"It's on sale, asshole," I point out. "And I told you, anything else might just end up with the house burnt down."

"I've seen you with a fire extinguisher, sweetie," Marian says. "I'm sure you'd manage to save most of the rooms."

"Brownies are evil," I can't help but mutter. "It wasn't my fault."

"Sure."

"I said I'd help," Seth offers. "We can do it from scratch. Come on. Marian deserves the best."

_Thisclose _to death.

"Fine," I snarl.

The worst part is Seth is really my only option. Quil and Jake are not oven sorts of guys and Leah swears up and down she can't make a cake at all. She's lying through her teeth, but Leah is nothing if not stubborn, so I pretend to believe her. She must think I'm an idiot. Sue Clearwater taught Seth how to make a cake and not her daughter? Bullshit.

And then Marian kisses me again and it's suddenly worth putting up with Seth.

"Do you have any baking powder at home?" he interrupts, like he's speaking in English.

"I think so."

"Baking soda?"

"Uh...we have the one that comes in a box. But not the other one."

Seth smirks again and tries not to laugh. "So we need to find baking powder. I think it's that way."

Now Seth might know his way around the kitchen, but I know my way around the grocery store. How many times over the years have I been forced to take care of this while my mother is at work? Turning to go in the opposite direction, I go to find us the baking powder.

Marian says, "Since I can't talk you out of this, can we get icing too?"

"Whatever you want. It's your cake."

"Then can I have chocolate icing, please?"

"It's going to cost you."

I'm about to kiss her again when Seth says, "I hope one of you has the recipe on you because I don't."

"That doesn't have to be from scratch," I announce.

Why did I decide on cake? Marian better appreciate all the effort I'm putting into this stupid thing—she's worth it, of course, but I wish I could have thought of something easier to show how happy I am. Knowing for sure that she'll be coming to SU with me next year is the best news I've gotten all year, but cake?

The things I do for her.

Luckily, I am going to be able to keep doing them all of next year. Her parents are chipping in a bit and she's got a partial scholarship. She wants to do engineering too, a different kind, but some of the courses will be the same. It'll be good if I'm around to help her. If she's there, I might even get to live on campus instead of running back and forth all the time. Leah's moving back to La Push next year, so her place will be vacant. With Marian splitting the cost with me, we should be able to afford it. I'm so lost in my daydream that I barely hear Marian ask Seth:

"Anything else?"

"Eggs?" Seth suggests.

I knew I shouldn't have made those omelets yesterday. With a sigh, I start leading us in the opposite direction.

Marian is still talking to Seth. "So do you know where you want to end up after high school?"

Serves the kid right. I'm sort of laughing hysterically to myself. Marian's innocently posed question means the brat might have to answer it, unlike the dodging he usually does.

Though I suppose that's not fair of me. I shouldn't be gloating that the kid has less idea that I did about what to do with his future. Even with Leah coming home from Seattle at the end of the year, money's going to be tight and he's got to know that. Everyone's going to tell him it doesn't matter, but of course it does. I know a thing or two about mother's you would rather chew your arm off than inconvenience.

"No," Seth mumbles. "Embry, do you have cocoa powder?"

"That I have." He woke me up at eight this morning. "You really should start thinking about it. You only have a year before applications have to be in."

"That's nice."

"Do you have ideas about a career or something? Anything?"

"No."

"Nothing?" Marian asks. She's my imprint, but Seth can't resist her sweetness either.

He fidgets, turns three shades of red and looks down at the floor. Only then does he say: "I'm going to be an Elder. Probably. Unless Leah tries to take it from me...but even she wouldn't mess with tradition like that. Sorry."

This last bit is directed at me.

"Why are you apologizing to me for? I don't care," I announce. In twenty years when all my closest friends are the most important people in La Push I might, but right now I don't care that Seth has nothing to figure out because he was born to _his _destiny.

Somehow, Marian's moved back beside me. Having her hand in mine helps combat the overwhelming feeling of rejection. A bit.

"I didn't think it was hereditary," she says to Seth after a moment.

She really does have a talent for choosing the wrong thing to say. Seth answers, "It's not _really_, but with the whole..." his voice drops to a whisper, "wolf thing...yeah."

"Oh."

Her eyes go wide, just a little, but I squeeze her hand and she smiles. At me. Not at Seth. It puts me in a much better mood, even though she's still directing her questions at him.

"Is there a course or something you would take to become an Elder?"

"You just have to get old," he laughs. "That and other stuff. My dad taught me most of what I need to know and my mom's teaching me the rest. That's why college isn't that big of a deal to me."

I want to clutch my heart (but that would make me look like an old woman). "You can't not want to go. Boy, you can't just do what other people want you to do. What about what you want?"

"What if what I want to is do what other people want me to do?" Seth grins easily. "Wow, that was a tongue twister. Do you have a pan to bake this all in?"

"Yes. And you're avoiding the subject."

"No, _you_ are trying to make something into a big deal when it's not."

"Sorry that I think the rest of your life is a big deal."

He glares at me in the middle of the supermarket, the way only a seventeen year old can glare—as if I was brain damaged my whole life and everyone was just too polite to tell me. Grabbing stuff off the shelves, he says, "I appreciate the gesture, Embry. I really do. But I've got a plan, so don't worry your pretty head."

"That's it."

It's the only warning I give before I put him in a headlock. He's not that much bigger than me and he knows better than to try fighting in the middle of the grocery store. I'm cutting off his air, so he starts protesting.

"Geddoff," he chokes out. "Jeez."

"Say you're sorry," I demand.

"Fine. You're deformed, Embry. Kiddies everywhere run in fear. I don't know what I was thinking saying your weren't. Now let me go."

"Did Leah teach you how to apologize? Because that was shit."

"Let go or I'll kill you."

"Better," I say. "Still not good."

"Nice to see things are going well for you guys," a voice says behind me.

Rotating around Seth—I'm not letting go unless I have to, because I said I wouldn't—I find that an audience has formed behind Marian. It consists of a few old women with horrified expressions and a very familiar werewolf.

"Hey, Jared," Seth calls out. "A little help here?"

The other, less annoying beta wolf comes forward to help (maybe I shouldn't have said he was Sam's whipping boy all those times) so I let go of Seth. There's no way I can take two of them. Jared laughs as he stands there in front of the packages of Jell-o pudding.

"I did you a favour," he tells me. "The kid would have beaten you eventually."

"Drop dead," I say as we shake hello and I introduce him to Marian (the 'my imprint' part is said quietly, but it still feels great to say). He doesn't seem to scare her as much as my other friends, mainly because I don't spend all my time talking about Jared.

It seems like forever since we talked, which is really weird because two years ago we practically lived together. I've missed him a lot. Sometimes I even miss Paul and I know that's messed up because the guy is a Class A Dick (A stands for asshole, obviously. Paul likes to multitask and be both at the same time; then make not-so-subtle dirty jokes about it). But Jared's a good guy, most of the time, and I'm not sorry to see him.

"How have you been?" I ask. Talking about myself is a dumb idea since I spend my days either with Marian or working on Jake's little problem. Talking about Marian makes me sound inane—talking about Jacob is not a good idea if we don't want word to get back to Sam. And Jake said we don't want word to get back to Sam.

"Good. With the wedding coming up and everything I've been pretty busy, but it can't last for much longer." Jared can't help but add, "And Kim feels so guilty for inflicting her mother on me that she'll do just about anything to make it up to me."

"She does look sort of terrifying," Seth says. "Not Kim, her mom."

Jared sighs. "She's worse than she looks. If the whole town doesn't come out to see her baby girl get married, she'll throw a fit. And he is even worse—he's must have told me three hundred times how much the wedding's costing him, like I was the one who wanted a big wedding. I would have been happy with my parents and you guys." He gives Marian a wolfish smile just to piss me off. "And your beautiful friend, of course."

"But then how would you show off?" I can't help but mutter. The boy has no shame.

Jared doesn't even bother defending his future in-laws. Why would he want to? I think Kim's great (if a little unfortunate looking) but her parents are living nightmares. They're always trying to interfere with everything around the rez, like it's their right, just because they've got some dough. Hell, Kim's mom even tried to shut down Sam and his protectors, at the beginning. Even though he was doing more to stop the drug problem in La Push than anyone else ever had, she didn't like the idea of a bunch of teens policing themselves (or messing with her dealer, but we're not allowed to say that). It was pure dumb luck that Jared imprinted on Kim—for some reason her parents love Jared, especially bragging to him. He can do no wrong, so Sam can do no wrong. I think it went to Sam's head.

"How come you didn't tell me you were seeing anyone?" Jared asks. It's hard not to hear the reproach in his voice. He's my brother and I haven't told him anything in almost two years.

"Sorry." Who ever invented the word should have made it sound a little more impressive. How was I supposed to sound convincing when the word was two syllables—two boring ones at that? I turned to lame excuses instead. "I was trying to introduce her to the guys slowly. Not scare her off, you know."

"I guess that's a good idea. Kim almost had a panic attack and she only had to meet the three of you."

It's been a long time since I thought about those days, hanging out with Sam, Jared and Paul while Jacob and Quil looked at me like I stabbed them in the back. Sam told me all about how Jake would one day be our Alpha—and Quil was pretty much guaranteed to transform, too—but I still missed them. So Sam, Jared and Paul tried to make it up to me. They kept me distracted, they made me laugh, they attacked me without warning (okay, so that was mostly Paul). But they were good guys.

"It helped that Emily was there," I say.

"Yeah. It's too bad your pack doesn't really have anyone like that. The toddlers can't be good company." A slow, slightly evil smirk appears on Jared's face. He's trying not to laugh as he says, "I guess there's always Leah to roll out the welcome mat."

Seth rolls his eyes and pretends he has to get something down the aisle. He knows better than to try and stop the guys from insulting Leah. She just makes it too easy.

"It's helped having Leah around," Marian says. Jared and I try not to let on that we think she's crazy, my darling, innocent imprint that can't see the demons even after I've pointed them out to her. "Having another girl too talk about you crazy boys with is nice."

"Nice?"

Jared was always a good guy. Though he wants to burst out laughing, he manages to make the word sound only a little bit surprised. I'm the one who is cackling at hearing Leah called nice.

"Embry," she says reproachfully. I stop. "When she and Jacob took us out last week, she was very nice to me."

"Jake was probably stepping on her foot the whole time."

"Didn't you say that's just the way they show affection? If that's how they like being happy together, who are we to judge?"

I kiss her, because she's just too adorable.

"Together?"

Shit.

Jared looks slightly confused. If he was Paul, or even one of the younger guys, I would be able to play this off. The fact that Jared has a brain is slightly inconvenient. This requires some finesse. As I'm searching for the right thing to say, Marian thoughtfully screws me over.

"They're dating. At least, I hope they are because otherwise it would make no sense for them to call each other boyfriend and...why is everyone looking at me like that?"

"It's nothing, sweetheart," I mumble. Jared's just staring: "Jake and Leah are dating? What happened to Nessie?"

"Who's Nessie?"

I really can't deal with both of them. Telling Marian about the Cullens is something I decided not to do—it's against the treaty to tell about that group of pale faces and they might not care about the treaty, but I'm an idiot, so I do—but means it's far too late for me to tell her about Nessie now. And Jared's going to report whatever I say back to Sam, which is not going to end well. Luckily, Seth managed to return. He offers up a quick explanation.

"Nessie's just this girl Jake knows. She left town awhile back, but her family's still around. They're friends of ours," he says clearly. I never noticed before, but the kid got pretty scary looking recently. "They stay in Forks, but they're our friends. They've been really cool about Jake and Leah dating, so we help them whenever they need it."

Translation: Sam touches the Cullens and we tear him apart.

It's a simple message and Jared picks it up easily. His eyes are locked on Seth's and he's nodding. "Cool. I can't really picture it, but...well, I hope it works out."

He's going to tell Sam.

We are so fucked.

"We're going to bake a cake," Seth smiles. "We've got to get going or it's not going to be done in time. It was nice seeing you, Jared."

"You too, kid. And you, Embry."

"Yeah. Take care of yourself. Say hi to Kim."

A hundred other meaningless pleasantries pass between us before he finally leaves. I have a sudden urge to tear my hair out.

"What's wrong?" Marian asks me.

"Nothing."

It takes me six minutes to hustle her out of the grocery store, two minutes to load the groceries into the car, five minutes to talk her into going home right then and eleven minutes to drive her there. It's twenty-four minutes before it's just me and Seth sitting in the car.

"Shit!"

"Calm down, Embry. It's not that bad."

"Uh, what part of Jacob's begging us not to tell Sam yet did you miss?" Tomorrow I knew I would feel terrible for yelling at Seth, but right then I couldn't help it. "Shit. What happens if Sam decides to break the treaty? That'll just—shit. It'll be all my fault."

"Why don't we talk to Jake first?" Seth said like this wasn't a huge deal that could start a civil war.

"I don't have any idea where in the hospital he'd be."

"Hospital?" Seth finally sounds worried, but not for the reasons he should be. "Why would he be there?"

"Billy had tests, I thought."

"Oh. Are you sure? Leah said Rachel was taking him."

"Maybe she stepped in last minute." Good. It's about time Jacob had some sort of help from his lazy ass sisters. "He'd be at home then, right?"

"Probably." Seth sits up straighter. "You could drive a little slower. This isn't an emergency."

"When Sam is tearing your precious Cullens into tiny pieces, you might feel differently."

"Sam's not going to attack."

"You willing to bet their lives on that?" I finally realize what I'm saying. "Actually, why don't we wait? Might get rid of them for good."

"You really want to become a murderer?"

"Wouldn't count. They're already dead."

When Seth doesn't respond I turn to...I don't know. Maybe I'm going to heckle him some more or something. But I don't say anything because when I look at him he's shaking.

Transforming in a car is a bad plan.

"I didn't mean it, Seth," I lie. "I'm just upset."

"Whatever," he mutters.

You can't be friends with guys like Quil and Jacob if you like silence. It either bores me to death or creeps me out. Today it just makes me realize what a prick I am.

Seth loves the vampires. I don't get it, I think it's stupid, but I can't seem to get him to stop, either. At first, it was only Edward, then Bella, then Emmett and all of sudden he was their new favorite toy. He doesn't bother explaining it to me—even if I could, I'm not sure I want to understand. How can Seth, who might not have a hurtful bone in his body, give a damn about the vampires, who can only bring hurt? It just doesn't make sense.

But I feel protective of the kid anyway, so I try and take it back.

"You know, Jake might be pissed, but I'm sure Sam wouldn't do anything too stupid. They'll probably have to get together and talk it over, but I'm sure nothing too terrible will happen to anybody."

He doesn't say anything, but he's stopped shaking. Good. We don't have many rules, but up at the top of the list is: shaking equals bad.

I continue: "When we get to the house, you can let me do the talking. Let me take the blame on this."

"Okay," Seth agrees. He's not crazy enough to want both Jake _and_ Leah mad at him.

The car finally gets to Jacob's house, but now that I'm here I don't really want him to be home. I don't want to explain that I'm the useless, letting Marian leak classified information when I shouldn't have. Treason (even the accidental kind) has always been a pretty big deal. With a sigh I get out of the car; Seth follows along behind me, keeping his word and not saying a thing.

The door is locked when we get there and trying to force the knob doesn't work. I want to turn tail and run away, but Seth is right there. Instead, I call: "Jake! Billy! Is somebody home?"

There's no answer, not for a good minute or so, even though I'm pounding on the door. But, finally, I can make out Jacob shouting back.

"Come in," he says. Even with my hearing abilities, it's hard to make out the words, but it doesn't matter if I've heard correctly or not. If he's home and not telling me to go away, I can grab the key I know is under the mat.

I let myself in. There's a pile of plates on the kitchen table, but I'll lecture Jacob about cleaning up after himself another day, a day when I haven't potentially endangered the pack. Instead, I look around and see him nowhere. There's not many possibilities so I head to his bedroom.

The very first thing I see is the smirk on Leah's face.

It doesn't distract me very long from noticing the way the white sheet that's lazily covering her leaves little to the imagination—and I have a pretty good imagination. It's barely covering her chest and if it were to slip down and inch or so...

There's a hand on her hip that belongs to my best friend, so I try and look up at her annoyed but laughing face. She's trying to teach me a lesson here and wants my attention. Jacob is lying beside her, shaking his head, half-bored, half-amused, but letting her be the one to say: "Jeez, Embry, haven't you ever heard of privacy? It's not like—Seth?"

Her voice goes up so high it breaks. One second she's sprawled across Jacob's bed like she owns it (and the world), and the next she's completely wrapped up in the sheet and diving right over Jake to the other side of the bed. They crash to the floor with a particularly painful sounding thud. The boy who came up beside me is so bright red I'm afraid he's going to go supernova. Jacob's head comes up, so I can see him behind the bed.

"Embry," Jacob announces, "Shut the fucking door."

"Right," I agree.

I still can't do it fast enough.

"My eyes," Seth murmurs faintly.

Crap.

Today is not going to be my day.


	8. Chapter 6: The Phone

A/N: I almost had Embry say 'my Jacob' instead of 'Jake' at one point. Oops. That would have been a new direction for the story ;-) I try, people, I try, but I wouldn't get used to the quick-ish update. An essay got pushed back, so I wrote this chapter instead. It probably won't happen again (though I wouldn't complain if it did).

...

Chapter 6: The Phone

...

"You okay?"

It feels like the right thing to ask, but Seth is just walking away from Jacob's room, ignoring me. He collapses backwards onto the couch and just lies there, motionless. I have the sudden urge to poke him with a stick, to make sure he's alive, but he might rip it from my hands and start beating me with it. Seth isn't quite in his right mind right this second. I casually walk around the couch, making sure there are no sharp objects in his vicinity. I don't want the kid to hurt himself.

"It burns," he mutters, pressing his palms further into his eyes.

What was his sister thinking?

Okay, maybe...maybe my constant complaining about the two of them could be slightly annoying. And sure, I had gotten a few laughs out of showing up when I wasn't supposed to so I could drag her to the Cullens. Watching Leah try and research how to get Jacob away from his soul mate while sexually frustrated was hilarious. And fine, I still openly stared at her tits. I love Marian (and Jake and Leah, for that matter) too much to do anything, but I still stare.

It's like the _Mona Lisa._ I might prefer modern art, but when you see the _Mona Lisa,_ you have to take a good long look.

I get that Leah might be annoyed at me. As sorry as I am for Seth, I'm also glad I've come out on top. She might actually kill me this time, but I've clearly won the fight. She's never going to be able to complain about anything I say now, not without thinking of today. And nothing ruins righteous fury quite as much as remembering that your brother caught you in bed with your boyfriend.

Since Seth seems to have gone catatonic, I go and call Quil. I keep the conversation brief—get over here is the basic message. Quil will probably roll over in bed, nap for the next ten minutes, and then come. With that taken care of, I have to face the fact that Seth hasn't moved yet.

"Seth? Could you say something so I know you haven't committed suicide?" I ask.

He sits up, slowly. "I always knew this werewolf thing would end with me in therapy. I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"That's the spirit."

"At least they had that sheet—ugh. I think I just threw up in my mouth."

"Do you want a glass of water?"

"No, I'm good. Jeez. Okay, thinking on the bright side..."

"At least your sister's hot."

I can't help laughing at the way he glares. "Keep going and I won't stop her when she tries to kill you."

"Not saying anything."

Seth sighs and rearranges himself so he's sitting properly on the couch. "Well, it could have been worse. It could have been Mom and Charlie."

"Great. Now I threw up in my mouth."

He starts to laugh. He's already over it. Sometimes I really hate Seth.

Jacob chooses this moment to stick his head out of the room; thankfully, he's fully dressed, so Seth might not hate us all forever. It took a lot less time than I thought it would to talk Leah out of going on a killing spree. Maybe she isn't that mad—maybe I'm secretly Superman.

"What are you idiots still doing here?" Jacob demands.

With all my worries over Seth's mental health—and all the work that went into preserving the image of Leah lying on a bed, barely covered—I almost forgot how royally screwed we are all.

My bad.

"We need to talk. About Sam."

"Sam? Shit," he sighs. "Okay. Give me a minute."

He disappears back inside his room and then the door opens to reveal a scowling Leah Clearwater. She's dressed now, in yesterdays clothing, but if I'm laughing at her walk of shame, it's on the inside, where she won't notice. With her arms crossed in front of her chest, and her black eyes trying to burn holes through my body, I'm starting to suspect she doesn't like me very much this morning. But she doesn't say anything, just stalks out of his room and towards the bathroom. Jacob follows her inside and the door slams shut.

It's only when we hear the sound of the shower turning on that Seth and I look at each other.

"I am not listening to Jake _wash _my sister," the kid whimpers.

"Not without a video camera on me," I can't help but joke. "They've got to know we can hear. They—"

Would they? I'm not sure. No. Not with Seth. They probably wouldn't be ashamed about making me listen—the two of them don't have much shame, now that I think about it—but they wouldn't make Seth listen to them shower together. I'm almost sure.

Fortunately, Jake comes out of the bathroom. By the water still clinging to him, I'd guess he just washed up in the sink while Leah claimed the shower. Normally I'd call her a selfish bitch (or a shower stealing pain) but today I bet she just wants to hide from Seth.

When Jacob comes up beside me, I realize it isn't just that she doesn't want her little brother to see her right now.

She doesn't want him to smell her, either.

Even with the scent of three different soaps and toothpaste coming off Jacob, it's impossible _not_ to smell Leah on him. It's faint, and holding her scent despite all the other smells gives me a headache, but it's very obviously there. Since she spent the night, or morning, or whatever—why I am I even bothering to put so much thought into it?—in his bed, she's got to smell a hundred times worse.

And Seth has got the best nose out of all of us.

I can't help it. I laugh out loud.

I shut up when Jacob punches me.

"You guys want something to eat?" Jacob offers after shaking out his fist, heading towards the kitchen. The two of us follow. Broken arm or not, awkward situation or not, a guy has got to eat.

"Anything you've got sounds good," I say. Taking a deep breath, I start my story. "So this morning Seth and I—"

"This has to do with Sam?" he asks me as he pulls out a box of Eggos.

"Yeah."

"Then shut up. Tell me later."

"It's important, moron. Why else would we show up this early?"

"If it's so important, moron," he mocks, "Then you should wait until Leah gets out here. She's already going to kill you; don't make it worse."

"Good to know you'll protect me."

"This is me protecting you. Leah would want to be here. Unless—" He finally starts looking worried. "Sam's not about to attack the Cullens, is he?"

"Not right this second," Seth pipes up.

Jacob's eyes narrow as he begins to suspect, but he doesn't say anything else to me. He is right. Leah wouldn't be happy if I left her out of important pack business, especially when it pertains to the detested ex-boyfriend. I watch as Jacob turns to Seth and studies the kid as he sits expectantly at the Black's kitchen table.

Seth has always worshipped Jake—to the point where I may have implied a few things about the kid's state of mind when we were younger. Just because Seth's transferred his man-crush onto Edward Cullen, doesn't mean he stopped looking up to Jake. And now it's going to be all awkward and I wish I had paid more attention when my mother watched Doctor Phil.

"Would you feel better if you hit me?" Jake offers.

I stare, even as Seth sits there and thinks it over—debates whether punching his idol will make up for the fact he found Jake in bed with his sister.

"I think..." he begins, "I think it would, actually. If you don't mind?"

"Naw. Just make sure my nose heals straight."

"Promise," the kid says, nodding up and down with such eagerness I'm embarrassed for him.

"Okay, get up and let's do this thing before she gets out of the shower."

Until Seth stands up, I'm convinced they're joking. It's only when Jacob circles around the table to stand in front of Seth that I remember the truth—my friends are just crazy.

"Cut it out," I try and order. "The two of you are acting stupid."

"Shut up, Embry," Jacob truly orders.

"Nuts," I mutter.

"Pussy."

"Are you two finished?" Seth demands. "Because I would like to get this over with before Leah gets out here and breaks _my_ nose."

I break eye contact with my best friend. It's an easy way to make it up to the kid, I guess. We do heal fast. Jacob faces Seth without even blinking, just nodding once to let the kid know he's ready.

For such a nice guy, Seth's got a mean right hook.

Jacob's head jerks back, but I'm pretty sure the loud cracking sound is from his nose and not his neck. Blood sprays onto the kitchen table—Billy isn't going to be happy about that. But a step backwards helps Jacob keep balanced, and with a shake of his head, he stands straight and tries to stop the blood from dripping onto his clothes. And the bone from healing crooked.

A quick popping sound and he pulls his hands away. "How is that?"

"Looks good," says Seth, though he looks paler than normal. "You should...you've got blood all over your face."

"I'll clean the table," I sigh.

"Stanks," Jacob mumbles as he goes to the sink. Last thing we need is Leah finding out. After he's washed his hands and face—thankfully there's nothing on his shirt—Jacob turns to Seth. "Feel better?"

"Yeah. I'm still scared for life, though."

"Sorry about that."

"Sorry about what?" Leah asks as she comes into the room. I toss the towel in the sink and hope she doesn't look too closely at it. She won't smell the blood. The smell of artificial flowers from her shampoo is so overpowering I feel a little nauseous. Or maybe it's because I now know she's got her shampoo at his house. Clingy much? A full month was too long to wait? Or maybe she just likes having her shampoo around because she's anal like that.

She flicks her wet hands in my direction, so I get water droplets all over my face. "Embry's the only one who should be sorry."

"You invited me in."

"I don't remember telling you to bring my baby brother along," she hisses. "You were supposed to be alone."

"Ewww," Seth whines. "If the three of you are having some weird threesome _thing_, could you please never tell me?"

"I got out of bed for this?" Quil complains as comes through the doorway. He got here fast. Must have only taken a five minute nap. He sits down beside Seth and says, "You all suck. So who's having a threesome?"

"Me, Jake and Leah. You know, if we all went temporarily insane."

"Actually—"

"You are not even allowed to joke about it," Jacob says, cutting her off. He pulls out the Eggos and splits them in half so that we can all have some.

Leah's complaining: "Why is two girls and a guy considered hot, while I'm not allowed to talk about two guys and a girl? It's not fair."

"You want to watch me make out with Embry?" Jacob looks far too amused for my liking and I slowly inch away for him.

"No," Leah agrees. "He's more of a woman than I am. I wouldn't want you to get confused."

"Thanks," I mutter.

"Therapy," is what Seth says.

Quil pulls a carton of milk from the fridge and takes a swing from it. "Could we get to the point or can I leave?"

Everyone turns to look at me and with a sigh, I wolf down the last of my Eggo and think about how to best say this. I'm still struggling to find the words when Seth bursts out:

"Jared found out the two of you were dating."

The assorted curse words are quite impressive. And our high school teachers said we had lousy vocabularies. Leah's started to pace, Quil is cracking his knuckles and Jacob turns to me. He's pissed.

"I thought I told you not to run your mouth."

"It just slipped out."

"Marian told," Seth explains. "We didn't tell her she couldn't, so she didn't know."

Even though it gets Jake to relax a fraction, I wish the kid hadn't told. I don't want Jacob to even have the option of taking this out on her. I should have stopped her somehow. Bet Seth would have, if he had been a few feet closer.

Jacob backs off and leans against the counter. "Shit."

"Okay, no one shoot me," Quil begins, "But I think it won't be that big of a deal. Sam doesn't know yet. I say we call him up, tell him, tell him the treaty still holds and go back to bed."

"Sam has no right to care about what you do with your life," Leah quietly agrees. "It would have been nice, _Embry_, not to have to pull rank on him, but you can do it. Just call him and tell him Spa—Rene—the kid is still your imprint and her and the Cullens are still under our protection." She almost gags as she says the words, but she gets them out.

"I didn't want to have to talk to Sam," he mutters.

"None of us did. Sam the self-righteous is super annoying. But he's not—I might say he's evil incarnate every so often, but he's...not. He won't hurt them."

I have to agree, Sam usually is a pretty cautious guy. Even if he does find out Jacob and Leah are dating, he's going to want to confirm what our position on Nessie is before he attacks. Jake understands this too, because he's saying:

"I know."

"So make the call before he does," Seth says.

I chime in, "Kid's got a point. The faster, the better, especially if it comes from you and not Jared. Sam doesn't know it's just the four vamps up there. His full pack against all nine Cullens isn't great odds."

"I know!"

The four of us are a little taken aback by his outburst. Jacob ignores us and chews on an Eggo. I glance at Leah, but she looks as confused as the rest of us. More worried, I'll give her that, but confused. He's still just standing by the kitchen sink.

Seth risks a tentative, "Do you want us out of here when you make the call or something?"

To our surprise, Jacob looks up and grins. "There really isn't a point in you guys staying. It's just going to be boring treaty stuff we all know. You can go."

"Are you actually going to call him?" She might sound accusatory and rather rude, but Leah can't help getting to the point.

"Yes, Leah. I will call him. But you guys don't have to be here for that. It's fine."

That's when the phone rings.

Quil takes one look at Jake, frozen in place, and goes to answer it. Leah comes up beside him, but he pushes away when she tries to take his hand. I hate the look on her face; when I come up beside her, I hope the closeness helps. She just looks to me for an answer I don't have.

After a quick greeting, Quil holds the phone out to our Alpha.

Jacob takes the phone and leans against the wall. The rest of us don't need to look at each other to decide we're going to be quiet. We all want to hear this conversation and we want to hear all of it. That means we need to be silent so we can pick up Sam's responses.

Sam starts off clearly. "Jared's with me."

"Leah's with me."

"He might have mentioned that."

There isn't an easy joke off of that, so Jacob has to get serious. "What do you want, Sam?"

"We need to talk, Jake."

"Not much else you can do on a phone, is there?"

"All of us. I want all of us to talk. A real pack meeting. We need to know where we stand."

"Where we always have. The Cullens aren't to be touched as long as they don't hunt on our land. Nessie isn't a threat to anyone. You have your pack and I have mine." Jacob finally looks up at us, checking to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything. Leah mouths 'imprint' but Jacob shakes his head.

Sam brings it up anyway. "Is Nessie still your imprint?"

"Is that question necessary?"

It gets harder to hear Sam's voice, it's gone so quiet. "I take it that's a yes, then."

"Yeah. She's still my imprint."

Leah stiffens beside me. I put my arm around her waist and she's too absorbed in their conversation to cringe at the support.

"The meeting can be tomorrow," Sam states. His voice is loud again, easy to hear. And strong. He's not mumbling. "At ten, meet us by the cliffs. Bring your whole pack."

Normally members of the two packs can't talk to each other, only the Alphas. Which would have made me miss the other guys, but any day that passes where I can't hear Paul talking about..._anything_, really, is a good day. It turns out, however, to our surprise and misfortune, that if the Alphas focus, they can allow us to talk to each other again.

It's not like it was before, where we hear everything—more like we're all sitting in one classroom and Sam and Jacob are our teachers, letting us speak when we raise our hands. We figured it out when the Big Bad Vampires came and we all had to coordinate. Standing around waiting to die and then having to hear a bunch of kids I'd barely met worried about the exact same thing was the absolute opposite of fun. If I never have to do that again, it will be too soon. What the hell were the Cullens thinking?

"Nine," Leah whispers to Jake and he takes her advice this time.

"Make it earlier, free up the rest of the day," he says casually, like he's not just doing this to screw with Sam. "How's nine?"

"We'll see you at nine, then. Say hello to the guys for me."

"I will. Same for me. And tell Paul to either marry my sister of leave town already."

"Will do."

It would have been too much to hope that it would just end there, that Sam would hang up and Jacob would hang up and we'd all go back to whatever we were doing before I met Jared this morning. I hate my life. Sam keeps talking.

"Jake? You really think you can do this?"

"Do what, Sam?" Jacob growls.

But Sam is an Alpha, too. He has more balls than brains.

"You really think you can avoid breaking her heart?"

It wouldn't be so bad that Sam asked—okay, Leah probably would have lost her shit and screamed until she went hoarse if that was the only thing that had happened—but it's Jake that brings the situation way past bad and all the way to imploded. Because Sam asks Jacob if he's sure they aren't the same and Jacob just stands there.

His face says it clearly enough—he doesn't know.

Jacob doesn't know if he's stronger or braver or crazier in love than Sam was, or if that's even the criteria he should be using. When it comes down to it, he's not sure that Leah won't end up reverting to the psycho bitch that made our lives hell for the first year as a pack. He doesn't know if he's going to stay with her.

Leah's already freaking out.

Jacob tries to save it. "I'm going to try."

It's an honest answer and maybe it would be enough, but we're all standing in the room with him _and she can see his guilty face._

In one quick stride, Leah crosses the kitchen and yanks the phone from Jacob's hand. "You don't get to ask that, Sam," she snarls. "You don't get to ask anything about me anymore."

"Leah, I was just trying—"

"No! You never _tried_, Sam. Remember? That was the problem. You never tried and so you have no fucking right to ask any questions about my life. You gave that up when you gave me up and the only thing you get to be right now is happy that I've found someone better than you."

"Better? I left because I'm supposed to be with Emily. Just like Jake's supposed to be with the vampire. That's better?"

"Nessie's not my cousin, now is she?"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is he's going to leave you."

"Because I'm the freaky girly-wolf, right?" she whispers.

If only Sam could lay off the whole sanctimonious deal. But he can't. He sounds so patronizing _I_ want to hit him. "Leah, don't purposely misunderstand me."

"Misunderstand? Misunderstand!" I might joke about Leah being crazy, but I've never seen her get this batty. "It's pretty hard to misunderstand 'I love you, Leah.' I guess I'm just too dumb to figure out what you meant. I guess that's what must have happened when you said 'I want to get married.' Huh, Sam? Did I misunderstand _that_? I guess 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' can have plenty of different meanings, right? Right? Well, fuck you, Sam. Not everyone is desperate to get away from me."

Now Sam's growling, Jake's growling, and I lock eyes with Quil and we silently agree that if the earth suddenly splits open we're both going to dive right into the crack.

"For the last time, it wasn't like that! It—" I'm of the opinion that if Sam had gotten mad at Leah, just once, back in the day, it wouldn't have taken her so long to get over him. But he doesn't get mad. Instead, Sam takes a deep breath and pulls this I'm-so-understanding and so-sorry crap that Leah can't stand listening too. "Leah, I'm just worried about you."

"You don't get to do that."

"Someone has to. You're going to get hurt again, Leah. He can't—"

The line goes dead. I glance at the receiver, but Leah hasn't managed to crush it just yet. Instead, Quil leans back in his chair and holds up the phone cord that's somehow no longer attached to the wall.

"Whoops."

Leah's just holding the phone, panting like she just ran across La Push. Her eyes settle on Jacob, standing beside her.

"Thanks for your help," she snarls.

He snarls back. That is sadly what they do. "Did you want my help before or after you yelled at your ex-boyfriend for not marrying you?"

"Screw you," she whispers. For a second I worry that she's going to cry, but no sooner has the thought entered my head than a switch flips inside her. She's not hurt anymore; she's angry. Joy. "Screw you!"

The cord on the phone is stronger than it looks. The base ends up following the receiver right off the wall when she throws it at Jake. The wall breaks into plastered pieces from the shock of suddenly missing the appliance. The wall still looks better than Jacob does. She gets him right in the face—she's fast, really fast, but that fast? I'm not sure. He had to know she was going to attack and he should have been more prepared—and the shattered plastic phone smashes everything. His lips splits, his cheek is gouged and I think his nose is broken again.

As he reaches up to fix his nose, she's already out of the room, shaking so hard I'm surprised she hasn't phased already. She only gets as far as the door before I can hear the sound of ripping clothes. And then it's just us guys.

"Sorry about the phone," Seth mutters, standing up. "We'll fix it."

"I'm coming with you," Jacob announces.

Quil quickly puts a stop to that crazy notion."Not the greatest idea. Leah might just rip your head off and you wouldn't survive that kind of wound. Give her a minute."

"I'll find her, look out for her," Seth promises.

Jacob's feeling at his cheek, where the cuts have already healed. "Tell her I'm sorry. For—sorry for everything."

"She doesn't want you to be sorry for everything," Seth sighs and then walks out of the room, shouting behind him, "Talk to her yourself."

"The kid's getting smarter," I admit. "And he's always been good at figuring girls out."

Quil snorts. "That's because up until...oh, _a month_ ago, Seth was getting more the three of us put together."

I look at Jake and, despite the split lip, the two of us can't help laughing because Quil's sadly right. Hell, you could probably throw Leah in with us and he'd still be right. She's picky about her body. Meanwhile, the entire reservation loves Seth.

"We're pathetic," I announce.

"And I am your king, His Most Pathetic-est" Jacob says with a sigh.

"I don't know. I'm the one who got us into this mess."

"Yeah, but it's my dad who's going to kick me out of the house for wrecking the phone. Again."

I hate the way I cringe. It should have stopped. As Jacob surveys the wreckage and Quil offers some of the supplies at his house, I remind myself I have Aaron and Marian now. Marian who is expecting a cake.

"I've got to go," I say. Without Seth, I'm going to need all the time I can get.

"Sure," Jacob agrees. "Tomorrow. The cliffs. At nine. Remember."

"Yes, sir. Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"You are better than Sam."

He laughs, shakes with laughter, as a matter of fact. Then, with a voice that allows for no argument, he declares:

"No. No, I'm not."

...

TBC...


	9. Interlude: The Wall

...

Interlude: The Wall

...

Sam was Alpha first.

That was a fact and not one Jacob would have changed, even if he could.

When Jacob phased, there was welcoming committee, one with a practiced speech. There were others with him. They could wonder if they were now monsters together, or stick to simpler questions, like how to piss with four legs instead of two. He had friends—brothers—to run and play with. People to teach him how to fight, to give him something to fight for. Even the news about his heritage was softened by the months of expecting that the La Push 'protectors' knew something about him that he didn't.

Sam had no one.

He had no one for a long time, not until Old Quil realized what was going on. There was no one to listen to him freak out over becoming a wolf, no one to tell him he wasn't crazy, no one to point him in the direction of what it all meant. He was alone.

But Sam did all right. Whether it was turning into a creature from horror movie, or truly becoming a monster when he had to leave Leah, Sam did all right. He survived. He adapted. He tried to be better.

And Sam hadn't been able to break the imprint.

Jacob couldn't imagine finding the strength inside himself to do half of what Sam did...and he was supposed to do something Sam hadn't been able to?

Sometimes, people said trying was enough, but this wasn't one of those times. This was one of those situations where just trying was simply unacceptable. He couldn't _try_—Leah didn't deserve that. Since he had committed to leaving Nessie—adorable, sweet, brilliant little Nessie—he had to follow through or it would be even worse than if he had never tried at all.

Jacob didn't have Sam's excuse. He knew all about becoming a werewolf and all of the sickening 'perks' that came with it. Jacob had already imprinted. He already had the perfect girl, the center of his universe—the wonderful, inescapable center of his world. And it was most decidedly not Leah. If he left her for someone else, like Sam had, he wouldn't be able to claim he hadn't known. Jacob knew better.

And he still kissed her.

He was the scum on Sam's shoes. He shouldn't have done anything, not with Nessie dancing around his head every second of every day, with the strange compulsion that was growing inside him demanding he stop this insanity, that he find _his_ girl and stand by her side—he was scum on the scum on Sam's shoes. Even knowing that, he still found himself calculating the cost of a flight to South America.

At least having the phone hit his head had stopped those thoughts. For a moment.

How did Jacob get into these kinds of messes?

Sometimes he found himself wishing that his parents had decided to stop with the twins. Why couldn't they have been happy with two beautiful baby girls who would never turn into freaks? Was three kids really necessary?

Even when he was bitter (he never used to be bitter—sometimes he wanted to blame Leah, but part of him thought it was actually Bella's fault and that just...that was over, over and dead, sort of like she was) and angry and considering how much it sucked being indestructible when you kind of just wanted to die, Jacob still got it. He understood why his parents had kept going, even though two kids should have been enough for anybody. Jacob knew all about wanting something even when all it did was hurt. A lot about that, actually.

If the whole Alpha thing didn't work out, he should write a book.

A book about how to break your best friend's heart and your own all at the same time. Multitasking was in, nowadays. He could show others how to effectively ruin an entire group of friends, all because some jackass couldn't keep his mouth shut. Sometimes when he started feeling too badly about what he was doing to Leah, Jacob imagined all the ways he was going to kill Embry. It helped a lot more than Embry should ever know.

Someone had to pay, now that Jacob was dating the not-center of his world—hopefully. The phone hadn't done much damage, so he figured they were still together. A bit of groveling and he should be able to get back into her good graces. For the hundredth time, Jacob wished he was strong enough to not beg her to take him back. He wished he could just let her go.

Too bad it was far too late for that.

"Are you drinking that or making out with it?" Quil asked.

"I'm thinking," Jacob muttered.

The two friends were sitting in front of the Black's house, right in front of the door, enjoying a cold one before they went in for some manual labor on their day off. It wasn't fair—Jacob figured he deserved it, but what had Quil ever done besides be a good friend?

They had brought the plaster over from the Atearas, after Quil Sr. made them promise not to use too much of it. Man was anal, even if he was saving Jacob from certain death. Billy wouldn't take kindly to having a hole in his kitchen, not without an explanation. Since the whole Leah-was-my-girlfriend-at-least-until-I-majorly-fucked-up-just-now wouldn't work since Jacob...oh, hadn't mentioned he was dating anyone, it was good of Quil Sr. to cut him a break and just give them the materials.

"Can't think and drink at the same time?" the man's son asked.

"Shut up." It was the best Jacob could do at the moment.

Quil started looking all serious. Why hadn't Jacob found new friends? Having guys around who could read your mind even when you weren't a wolf majorly sucked.

"You okay? It's not like she broke anything we can't fix."

Except maybe his life.

Most of the time he thought it was the greatest thing ever. But right that second he was wondering how much of herself she was going to have to break in the process. Just thinking about it made him miserable.

"Billy's going to need an explanation," was all Jacob said, as the cool beer slid down his throat. It was too cold out for them to look normal, but he was tired of pretending all the time. He was hot, the beer was cold, he was going to drink it if he wanted to.

"So tell him the truth."

Quil had always been a little on the slow side.

"I can't do that."

"Not the whole truth. Just tell him you pissed off Leah about Sam. He'd buy that."

Jacob growled before he could help himself. Her voice was still ringing in his ears, still pleading and heartbroken and directed at not-him. He might be ruining her life, but somehow it was even worse that he couldn't even do it properly, because Sam had already done it first.

Bet Sam told his Mom the day he started dating Leah Clearwater.

Why hadn't he told his dad?

He hadn't told Billy because he hadn't wanted word to get back to Sam. That had turned out fanfuckingtastic. Not only did Sam know Jacob and Leah were together, he knew Leah was pissed and he knew Jacob was a coward. Perfect. Just what Jacob had always wanted. And Billy still didn't know.

He hadn't told Billy because he didn't want Billy disappointed in him. It hadn't occurred to him until Embry started poking around, looking for answers, but it was the truth even if it took an overly daddy-issue sensitive friend to point it out. Jacob hadn't wanted to give the old man hope that he wouldn't have a Cold One as an in-law only to have to admit it was all just a practical joke. Failures was a serious possibility and it wasn't fair to Billy to make him think the impossible was possible when it just...wasn't.

He hadn't told Billy because his father knew the history of the tribe forwards and backwards and Billy would be able to very quickly identify just how close all the family trees intermingled, and just how close was too close. And if Jacob could manage to defeat the whole Nessie thing, he wasn't about to lose Leah just because tradition said he couldn't marry his fourth cousin (or whatever the hell she was).

All those excuses came after. The real reason he hadn't told Billy anything about Leah was simple.

She asked him not to.

Leah had practically gone down on her knees (the actually going down on her knees part had happened later and had been a lot more fun) to beg him not to tell their parents, to not tell anyone. When he jokingly said she was ashamed of him, she just kept pleading, like the world would end if anyone outside the pack found out. So he agreed.

At first, he had thought keeping it a secret was sort of hot. Now he wished she would just get over her problem already. He wanted to be able to be able to hold her hand outside of their rooms and get into loud public arguments over who would pay for what and wrap his arm around her waist no matter who was watching. He wanted to kiss her on the cheek before he left the room and kiss her goodbye properly whenever she left for a while—and Leah would rather die than let that happen.

So Jacob said nothing.

Because he did love her, even when she was wrong.

That she might not be wrong didn't occur to him. Thinking things through properly might not be his strong point, but he was good at figuring out when things weren't quite right. And this not telling anybody wasn't right at all.

"I don't want to lie to him," Jacob told Quil. "I don't want to lie and I can't tell him the truth. Where does that leave me?"

"Screwed. As usual."

"Thanks."

"Anytime." Quil was picking at the peel on the bottle. Before Claire, he hadn't had the infantile obsession with touching everything. It made Jacob laugh to see it now. "How long do we have until the Cullens come back?"

"They're not coming back. We have two weeks until Carlisle and the others leave. They'll be finished doing whatever it is they're doing by then."

"Two weeks?" Quil winced and Jacob took another swing of beer, wishing his werewolf metabolism would shut down so he could get piss drunk like he really wanted to. "That's not very long."

"I know."

"What'll happen to you then?"

"I'll stay here." He sighed and admitted, "Until I can't stay away from her anymore."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

The two friends sat and watched the setting sun. It would have been a nice view, if it didn't feel so final all of a sudden. When the setting sun reflected off the water, it made the water look red. Jacob just felt like laughing. Of course, it would look like blood. Blood had become the center of his universe when he chained himself to Nessie, sitting with the innocence of a child in a world made out of death and destruction. The sight made him a little sick.

"Quil? Can I ask you something?"

"You already did."

Jacob punched his best friend in the arm. He got punched in the arm back. It would have made him spill the beer, except the bottle was already empty. With a sigh, he put it down beside him.

"Do you hate the Cullens?"

"What?"

"Do you hate the Cullens?"

"What's this about?"

"Just answer the question."

"I don't know. I know I don't want to join Seth's fan club." They laughed and then Quil went silent as he gave it more thought. A lot more thought. It was a few minutes later when he spoke again. "They're not that bad, Jake. Bella was still cool and Edward wasn't as bad as he used to be. Alice and Emmett were pretty cool too, and...Jasper freaked me out but I still didn't think he was that bad. I know you hate the blonde but—oh, man, have you seen her? Who cares if she's a psycho bitch? And the older two are just so damn nice even Embry likes them. So I guess that's what I think of them."

"You don't think..." It wasn't that Jacob wanted Quil thinking another way. He really didn't. But if he had missed it in Embry and Leah, maybe he had missed it in Quil. An Alpha should know these things. "Do you think they've made us killers?"

"What?"

"That kid Zafrina killed. Do you think I should have...done something about that?"

"Done what? What was there to do?"

"Make the Cullens be more careful. Drive them out of Washington. Something! Anything so that guy didn't have to die for nothing."

Jacob took a deep breath and calmed down. He hadn't accidentally phased for almost half a year, and it seemed like a bad time to start now. So he slowed his racing heart and said, "Sorry. Just...don't you think I should have done something?"

"Nessie's your imprint. You've got to help her out."

"Help her out so other people die?"

"You sound like Embry."

"Maybe I should. I didn't even think about it. The kid was dead and I didn't even think about it. That's fucked up, right?"

"The Cullens are gone now, anyway," Quil shrugged. "There really doesn't seem to be a point going over all this when they're not going to come back here soon."

"You don't think it's a big deal?"

Quil hesitated, but finally said, "I know there's nothing you can do. Leah's never going to be able to understand and Embry...he just got Marian. He still hasn't figured it out. I know you couldn't have done anything else. I'm not going to blame you for that. And I'm sure as hell not going to blame _me_."

An Alpha should be blamed for it. If he couldn't _do_ anything about these sort of problems, he shouldn't be in charge. But not only had he not done anything, he hadn't even noticed.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"Let's do this thing," Quil said, standing up.

Jacob picked up the empty bottles and followed Quil inside.

The hole was too big to just replastered. But since they couldn't replace the dry wall themselves, and they couldn't afford to hire someone to do it for them, they started playing puzzle. Picking up the fallen pieces, they fit them together as best they can, plastering it all together to make a piece big enough to fit the hole. It wasn't a great solution, but it would do for now.

Quil brought in a fan to help it all dry quickly as Jacob put the finishing touches on the wall. That was when Billy rolled in, Rachel behind him.

Jacob's sister took one look at the wall and sighed. In it, he could hear all the regret and fury that Rachel sometimes felt when she realized she was never getting out of La Push the way she used to dream about, dream so hard she would wake up and burst into tears when she found out it wasn't true. If she was lucky, maybe tomorrow Jacob would break Paul's neck and she'd finally be able to get out of here just like she always wanted. Probably not. If it came to a fight tomorrow morning, Embry or Quil would probably end up fighting Paul. Maybe Seth...if the kid could just develop killer instincts, his size would make him one hell of a fighter.

No one was making Rachel stay, not even Paul. Jacob couldn't even hate the dickhead properly, because Paul had been weirdly gung ho about going where ever Rachel wanted, even if Paul had about zero marketable skills and absolutely no chance of living anywhere outside of La Push without attracting a shit load of attention the werewolves couldn't handle. Paul needed to stay in La Push—it would be too cruel to unleash him on the rest of the world, even if it was safe—and Rachel couldn't bear to tear herself from his loving eyes.

Sometimes Jacob felt guilty. Maybe if he had been a better brother she wouldn't need Paul so badly. But she had left first and he was beginning to think they were all stuck anyway.

Even when they weren't your imprint, it was impossible to stay away from someone who loved you. Jacob didn't know how Edward managed it, but maybe the vamp was stronger than he looked.

That was the moment when Jacob realized the self-pity thing was getting old, making him crazy and ruining what little self-respect he had. He also suspected the phone had hit him harder on the head than he thought. Wanting to be like Sam? Sort of okay, since Sam had always been a better Alpha, even if he was a shitty boyfriend. Wanting to be like Edward? Fucked up beyond belief.

"You okay?" Billy asked.

Jacob looked around the room and noticed that Rachel had taken off. Probably at Paul's, where they would exchange googly eyes and do things that Jacob was never ever thinking about in relation to the two of them.

"Yeah," he muttered, turning to Quil. "You want to stay for dinner?"

"Nah. Mom's making pasta tonight and it's a hell of a lot better than your cooking."

It took Quil twenty minutes to get himself out of the headlock Jacob had put him in, but most of the kitchen survived, so that after Quil had left, Billy didn't bother to complain much. He restricted himself to a single question, as Jacob picked up the kitchen chairs.

"Am I ever going to find out what happened to my phone?"

"Eventually."

Billy glared.

"No," Jacob had to admit. "But at least the wall's fixed."

"Dinner better be good tonight."

"As good as it always is."

Billy sighed. "If the phone wasn't broken, I would call for take out."

"If you're going to be like that, old man, you can make your own food."

The Black men laughed and Jacob went around making dinner. He even sat around and watched the game with Billy afterwards. None of that whiney, Edward-crap from before. Once the game was over, he'd go find Leah, fix the mess and maybe figure out what the hell he was going to do tomorrow with Sam.

Leah would probably have a few ideas and they were bound to be better than 'tell Sam to go fuck himself,' which was about all Jacob could come up with. He wasn't even sure Sam would be a problem...who was Jacob kidding? If Leah was around, Sam was a problem. And since he wanted to keep Leah around...

He should get off the couch.

"I'm going out," he told Billy. "You'll be okay getting to bed?"

"I'm fine," Billy said and Jacob was glad to see it looked like the truth. The tests hadn't taken as much out of his dad as he feared.

With a nod, Jacob headed towards his room. He had to change first. Leah was such a girl about some things. If he showed up in a shirt with plaster on it, she would complain he didn't even care even though it was just a shirt. So he had to get a new one, even though changing meant going into his room. His room which probably still held her scent and maybe even some of her clothes. Maybe he had a shirt somewhere under the couch...too bad Billy was sitting on it.

With a sigh, he headed towards the rumpled bed and flattened pillows Leah had been lying on just that morning. As he got closer, his nose informed him of a simple fact: the smell shouldn't have been that strong.

When he opened the door to find her on his bed, he wasn't surprised. A little annoyed, maybe, that she was cutting her toenails on his comforter and letting the clippings fly all over the place, but still glad to see her. Leah didn't even look up from her feet as he slipped inside and closed the door behind him.

"I'm sorry about the phone," she said, ripping an uncuttable bit right off.

"It's fixable." Not sure exactly how close he would be allowed to get before she stabbed him with the nail scissors, Jacob sat down beside his pillow, back against the wall, so they were as far apart as the tiny bed allowed. "How long have you been here?"

"Ten minutes. There wasn't anything on TV... but you were talking to your dad and I didn't want to interrupt. I figured you'd come back in here eventually."

"I was just going to change so I could go looking for you."

"You found me," she said. Even with the look on intense concentration on her face, she was beautiful. Not exotic like the vampires, but strong and familiar and welcoming..._home._ Too bad she was going to kick his ass.

"You shouldn't cut your nails on the bed. I don't want to get attacked in the middle of the night by stabby little castoffs."

"I'll clean it up."

"You might miss some."

"I won't. And if I don't mind, you shouldn't."

She looked up then, black eyes meeting his for the first time since he had come in. The slightest lift of his finger and she would stay, even though there were nails in the bed. What was wrong with her? Jacob couldn't help smiling. Slightly nuts as she was, she was perfect for him.

"I'm sorry for this morning. I just...I don't want to lie to you. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm going to try as hard as I can...I just don't know if it'll be enough. And I hate thinking I'm going to hurt you."

She laughed and he figured it would have been better if she had just stabbed him with the scissors. But all she did was put them on the floor, under the bed (she was learning the ways of his room) before coming over to sit beside him.

"You know what the worst thing about Sam was?" she asked.

"His hair?"

"No."

"His face?"

"No. Last guess."

"His personality?"

Anything to make her smile. Still grinning, Leah leaned over and he carefully wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He inhaled, letting himself savor the scent of her. There wasn't anything like it in the whole world. When he had finished getting reacquainted with her, she began to talk.

"It wasn't so much that he left...okay, that sucked. Really sucked. But the worst part was that he promised. Said all these beautiful things that made me think we were forever. And losing that...that was the worst."

"I'm sorry." He wasn't even sure why he was saying it. Because Sam broke her heart, because it still hurt her sometimes, because Jacob couldn't stop himself from being a bit jealous even now? All of the above.

"You haven't done that," she said, looking up at him. Her face was close now, easy enough to lean over and kiss her, though he didn't. "You haven't made me a promise that you'll break."

"That's because I haven't promised you _anything_," he had to point out.

"You promise you love me. That I believe. You might not be able to be with me, you might leave me for a two year old in a couple of weeks, but..." Leah smiled, just not with her eyes, "Hey. You haven't lied to me and I appreciate that."

"What if I wanted to promise you something more?"

The way she stiffened sort of pissed him off. He wasn't about to propose to her or anything (though Rebecca had been younger when she got married, for the record). Why wouldn't she let him do anything for her?

"It would make you a liar."

"Or make me determined not to be."

"Don't be stupid."

Her voice was sharp now and he knew he had pushed her too far, too fast. The only thing to do now was back down, even though he could see it clear as day. A garage someplace, where he'd do the work and she'd browbeat customers until they thought thousands of dollars was quite reasonable, taking long lunch breaks so they could make love in her office...even in his fantasies Leah wasn't wearing a ring. There was no point. One unplanned transformation and goodbye sign of eternal devotion. Maybe she was right when she said there was no point in promising anything.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I told my dad I was going out. You want to come with?"

"Sure. I'll meet you out front." Leah gave him a quick kiss before climbing right off the bed. "And Jake? You should change your shirt."

"Shut up," he muttered as she slipped out the window, laughing to herself. It made him smile, though he tried to keep it to himself. Slipping on another shirt, he quickly walked out of the house, saying goodbye to his father.

She was standing half way up the driveway, staring up at the thin crescent moon, only the light from inside the house doing anything to illuminate her. In a baggy shirt and Seth's shorts, she still managed to look breathtaking, but, even as he smiled at the picture she made, his eyes went to the moon and he found himself wondering what time of night it was in South America.

"You coming?" Leah called.

He hurried to her side, burying his face into the crook of her neck. The last lingering scent of that stupid lavender shampoo she insisted she needed so as not to turn into an 'idiot boy' wafted into his nose as he pressed his lips to her heated skin.

"I said I was sorry, right?" he muttered against her. "I'm sorry, Leah."

"You said that already. Let's move on. Where do you want to go?"

"We could just get in the car and see where we end up?"

"Too little room."

"The beach?"

"Too much sand."

"The forest?"

"Too dirty."

"The cliffs?"

"Too Sam."

"So where would Sam take you?" he snapped.

He let her wrap her arms around his waist and step closer to him, even as she lightly berated him, "Because we have to meet him there tomorrow not because...you know I'm over Sam, right?"

"Sure."

It was always been easy to tell when Leah got angry—even if she was good at hiding it, she never bothered to try. Since she had so much practice, her glare was rather spectacular.

"I _am_ over Sam. I'm in—I'm with you, idiot. Despite your...unfortunate mini-pest. I'm not in love with Sam anymore."

"Yeah, I was completely over the last guy I yelled at for not marrying me, too."

"I'm going to take the high road and not mention how you basically went to Bella's _wedding_ and had that conversation with her. Instead, I'm just going to tell you this—I am not in love with Sam. And if you can't believe me...get over it, because I'm telling the truth."

"You know, your sympathy for others is probably why I'm attracted to you."

She moved to punch him, but he easily caught her fist before lowering his mouth onto hers. The game was still going—Billy probably wouldn't look out the window. Jacob wished he would.

"I really am sorry about the phone," Leah whispered after they pulled apart.

Jacob burst out laughing, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her down the road. They'd end up wherever they ended up. "And my face, I hope. The damage could have been permanent."

"It might have helped."

"Hey," he protests, pretending to be offended. It was why he has to push her into the nearby tree, silencing the next insult with a kiss, pressing into her until they were both groaning. Only with her lips could she beg him not to leave; it was the only way she'd let him promise to stay.

They pressed their foreheads together, standing by the side of the road in the dark. Her fingers curled into his shirt, as she gazed up at him.

"You haven't thought about what you're going to do about Sam, have you?" she asked.

"Nope."

"Figures." She placed a gently kiss at the side of his mouth. "We should probably figure that out first."

"You don't mind helping?

"Nah. You'd be lost without me."

"True."

"And I like helping you."

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?"

"Shut up." She ducked her head, slight blush spreading across her cheeks, doing what she always did when he managed to make her just a little bit happy. "You're not so bad, Jake. Besides, I—" Her mouth moved as she tried to get out the words. He liked helping her out, when she'd let him.

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Now start thinking."

"Since when do I do that?"

But because she had asked so nicely, he did try.

...


	10. Chapter 7: The Proposal

A/N: Ta da! Sorry this took so long. And for the purposes of this story, Leah and Seth are related to, but not through, Ephraim Black. So Embry is not actually correct, though he's not that far off, either.

...

Chapter 7: The Proposal

...

I get to Jacob's house at eight thirty. The plan was to meet at eight, but we've left plenty of time for me to be a few minutes late. Besides, if the plan is more complex than show up, no one's bothered to tell me about it. What else is new?

When I get to the house, I find Leah's the only one who beat me. It's not surprising, since she probably spent the night, but it makes me wonder if I should have picked up Seth on the way. Kid might have forgotten. It also makes me wonder what Billy thinks, that his son has a girl showing up at their house at the crack of dawn. Or maybe not. Billy's reading the newspaper, completely ignoring us. Now I'm wondering if he ever notices anything at all, and when sticking your head in the sand got cool.

Actually, ostriches are pretty damn cool. Fast and freaky looking. You can't get much better than that.

"You're late," Leah says from the couch. She's flipping through a magazine, while Jacob gets up to greet me. The love in the room is heart-warming.

"And you're a bitch." She tries to throw the magazine at me, but it's not very aerodynamic, so it crashes to the floor. "Sorry. I thought we were having a state the obvious contest."

"It's too early for this," Jacob complains as he falls back on the couch, arm around her shoulders. I'm not sure which one of us he's chastising, exactly, but I'm pretty sure neither of us care. That doesn't stop our Alpha. "Can't we all just get along? I mean, all I am saying is...give peace a chance."

Leah groans, while I pick up the magazine and throw it at Jacob. It's definitely too early to put up with those kind of lame remarks.

I scratch my head and ask instead, "So, what's happening today?"

"We hear Sam out. It's only if he wants to attack that we have a problem and I doubt that's going to happen."

"He likes the treaty almost as much as Jake does," Leah teases.

"Just because I hide behind it constantly," he grumbles. Billy's not looking—and apparently I don't count—so he kisses her quickly before running a hand through his hair. "Do you think we have a hope in hell if he wants to fight?"

"No," Leah says cheerfully.

I have to admit... "Twelve against five? Good luck with that, Jake."

"You're both such positive people," he says.

"Fine," I allow. "You could beat Sam, no question, and as long as we could keep the rest at bay for a while it might be okay. But that's four on eleven and Jared and Paul are solid fighters, even if the kids are a little shaky. It doesn't help they're all stronger than Leah. No way she can take on more than one of them at a time." She flips me off, but doesn't interrupt, because it's true. Girls just aren't supposed to fight. "We're better, stronger, faster...but it's still ten on three."

"Want to watch me kick your ass?" Leah asks.

Jacob holds her down with one arm, easily, proving my point, though I'm not crazy enough to point that out to her. Instead, I offer, "Seth got big lately, so he might be able to hold off Jared and Paul. That still leaves me and Quil with four each. We're not going to be able to buy you more than a minute."

"That might be all he needs," she says.

Jacob is a little more realistic, looking doubtful for a second, before he smiles. "It would be kind of awesome to see how fast I could beat him."

"We haven't had a good fight in a while," I lament. "I missed it. Today might be a good day, after all."

"Twelve to five _is_ possible," Leah contributes. "It'll just be one hell of a fight." Her eyes are bright, her lips turned up in a cruel smile—it's a good look on her and I'm not surprised when he kisses her again. They pull away quickly enough when we hear someone walking up the driveway.

It's only Quil, but Seth comes along ten minutes later. We're still greeting one another when Billy rolls himself into the room.

"Should I ask?"

"Nope," Jake says. "We're heading out. I might be late for lunch."

"Don't do anything too stupid, Jake," Billy warns. "That goes for the rest of you, too."

Seth sincerely wonders, "When do we do stupid things?"

The rest of us just try not to look took guilty as we head out the door. I happen to think we have the best of intentions, all the time. It's not our fault things happen to become more complicated than we ever imagined all the time. It's not like we _try_ to screw ourselves over. It just happens.

"The cliff doesn't seem like the safest of meeting places," Quil complains as we walk down the road. Most people have gotten used to us by now, but we still get strange looks, sometimes. Leah's the only one who's a normal person height and Leah Clearwater is still damn scary. Jake's twice as big as most people and the rest of us aren't far behind.

"Just don't stand by the edge," Leah advises him.

"And when we get there," Jacob says, "How about I'm the only one who talks?"

"Why would we do that?"

"I tend to piss people off less than you," he reminds her.

"Like that's hard," I mutter.

She talks over me, "Sam's not going to let the others talk."

"Fine," Jacob relents. It's not that he didn't want us to speak, just not to say anything stupid, which is almost but not quite the same thing for us. He clarifies this for Leah. "I'm the only one who gets to accidently get us stuck in the middle of a war."

"Okay then. You couldn't have just said that?"

She slips away before he can do more than growl at her, because we're close enough to phase. Hidden by the trees, the four of us start stripping down, piling clothes for later (dumping them in a pile, same thing), getting ourselves psyched up. A fight would start the week off with a bang, and now that we're here, I'm starting to think our chances aren't as bad. We have gotten big and its single digit odds and we have more experience. Luck, then experience, is probably the most important thing in a fight and experience is the only thing you can guarantee.

The battle with the newborns didn't end on the greatest note for us, but no one died and Jake did get to experience the joys of morphine, so it wasn't a complete waste. Plus, there's no way Leah does something as stupid this time, if for no other reason than she's not going to let Jacob almost die for her again. That puts her far too into his debt for her pig-headed liking.

A low bark lets us know she's ready and Jacob answers back, letting her know we're moving out, heading towards the cliffs. We didn't need to discuss it with anyone, but we know that Sam's coming from the other side. That's just the way it always is. The wind is coming from his direction, carrying confirmation, the scent of him and our possible destruction blowing past.

_Happy thoughts,_ Quil reminds me.

_If he asks you to go back..._ Jacob begins, but he doesn't get far. Quil and I are already protesting and Seth starts howling in a particularly pathetic way. Leah doesn't say anything. Her annoyance makes it clear she's already told Jacob, too many times to count, how stupid this idea is. Our illustrious, if unwilling, leader laughs. _Just thought I'd ask._

_Just beyond those trees,_ Seth guesses.

The kid's right. On the other side, we come face to face with a very large pack of slightly smaller wolves. I really hope it doesn't come to fighting.

_Get into formation,_ Jacob orders and we do just that as he turns to Sam. _Sorry if we're late._

_You're right on time,_ Sam says, diplomatic as always. Everything I hear is a little delayed, as Sam thinks it to Jacob and Jacob then broadcasts it to the rest of us. It was a whole lot simpler when we were just one pack, but there's nothing to be done about that now. Even for easy communication, I wouldn't want to go back, to leave my family. Sam requests, _Just give me a minute to get the guys settled and we'll start._

_Sure thing, _Jacob agrees and we watch Sam turn to face his not-quite-complete pack, doing a bit of growling. _Leah could you—why the hell are you there?_

_What? _

It's only as Jacob asks that we realize we're not where we're supposed to be. Leah's always on his right, always, except Seth's now standing there, between me and Jacob, and Leah's off to Jake's left, where I'm supposed to be. Quil's where Seth usually is and I'm where Quil should be, and it's all giving me a bit of a headache. Not to mention giving me a vague feeling of someone sticking their hands inside my belly and playing with my guts as I watch.

_Don't tell me you fired your girlfriend,_ Quil laughs. He hasn't gotten it yet, but I'm not about to explain. _Boy, you're never going to live this down._

_Shut up, Quil,_ Jacob says. _No one's been fired. _I_ sure as hell didn't do anything to the four of you._

_You told us to get into formation,_ Seth says. _So we did._

Leah doesn't sound as mad as I expected, which is good, because it means no one is going to die shortly. She still sounds pissed, though, and I'm glad I'm not Jacob. _I'm the Beta,_ she announces. _I'm at your right._

_Can we worry about this after?_ he pleads.

_Not if I really have been demoted._

_You didn't get demoted, Leah. I still think of you as my __Betasecondbest friendgirlfriendlover womanhewouldn'twant tolivewithout_—the thoughts are so jumbled I can't really get a lock on anything. I bet he doesn't know himself—_you're still the second in command, you're just on the wrong side. Don't worry, you're still my Beta._

_Or the Alpha female._

The four of us respond in unison. We can't help it.

_What?_

Seth would be backing up if he was in human form, but he's not. He's standing on Jacob's right and so he has to stay there. But he does explain. _It's something the Cullens came up with. Since we're not real werewolves—_

_Not that crap again,_ Leah complains. We shush her, because the kid might actually have something.

_Do none of you listen when they talk?_ Seth wonders, easily distracted.

_Not really_, Jacob confirms. _Now can you get to the point, Seth?_

_Oh, sure Jake. Anyway, they were saying that because we're shapeshifters and not Moon-whatevers that we might have adopted some other wolf-y characteristics besides the shape. Like you could have wolf-y fertility, Leah, or—_

She growls so loudly whatever Seth is going to say is drowned out. Not this again. It's only the most boring thing on the planet, listening to Leah talk about her uterus. She barks at me, too, but then settles down because we are listening to Seth's lecture for her sake. I bet he copied it word for word as Edward told him. Kid really needs to get over his stupid crush. It's embarrassing.

_Thanks, Embry._ For once, he drops the whole cheerful thing. I would consider maybe we're overdoing the whole teasing Seth about being in love with a bloodsucker, but I still find it funny so I'm not about to stop. _Anyway, they were saying all the pack stuff might be wolf related. So Edward told me about wild wolves—usually packs are lead by a breeding pair, Alpha male and Alpha female. Of course, the packs are usually made up of their children and we aren't really your children so it might not really work, but I still think it sort of makes sense. And Edward said—_

_Enough, Seth,_ Jacob tells him. _My brain can't take all of this. Could you just shut up for a minute?_

_Shutting up._

_So basically,_ Leah says slowly, _you're saying I'm not just the Beta, I'm...his...mate?_

We wait for a response and when none is forthcoming, Jacob sighs and says, _You can speak now, Seth._

_Okay. Uh...I guess. I don't really know, you'd have to talk to Edward. But they sort of hinted something like this might happen. Boy, doesn't it sound sort of funny calling yourself mates? Mom's totally going to kill you for getting mated without telling her first._

_Shut up, again,_ Leah snaps. _Okay. Okay. What does this mean?_

_Hey,_ Jacob says, _I just asked you to get into formation. I should have known you would try and make some sort of power grab._

She does not take his attempt at levity well. At all. _I'm sorry this is all some big joke to you but—_

_Oh, shut up, Leah. It's obviously not something we're controlling. I think it's sort of cool,_ he says, but it's easy to sense his hesitancy. _What do you think?_

It's the strangest thing ever, watching someone talk to Leah like she's a scared animal and not the most dangerous thing around, but he can handle his girlfriend however he wants. Oh, sorry. His_ mate._

_Well, I guess if you're okay with it..._she begins. _I guess it's sort of cute in a stupid, you Tarzan, me Jane, sort of way._

_Good. _If Seth's love for Edward is embarrassing, there simply isn't a word for how little I want to be standing there feeling all of Jake's gooey warm feelings for Leah. Over-sharing is one thing, but this... Give the man a pat on the back. His girlfriend doesn't mind having the title. He doesn't have to be so damn sappy about it.

And normally Leah would agree with me, but right now she seems pretty mellow, too, for her, at least. If we were human, she'd be blushing, which is the strangest thing in the world, Leah blushing like she's a human with feelings and not evil on legs. She's happy and Jacob's unabashed over-the-moon joy is making her more happy and I really, really wish we could all just tune each other out.

_Leave them alone,_ Seth chides me. _This is sort of a big deal._

_What I want to know_, Quil says,_ Is why did the rest of us end up moved around?_

_Because Seth's obviously the Beta now._

The words come out, just as the thought does, which is why I don't have time to put any inflection on them. Sam's coming up and Jacob walks up to greet him, leaving the four of us. The Clearwaters and the Omega wolves.

_Ready?_ Jacob asks.

_Ready?_

It takes a moment, but slowly it comes into focus, the jabbering of the other pack. It's sort of out of focus, and there's an annoying echo behind it, but somehow we can finally feel them there with us. All the gang back together again—Marian made me watch_ Grease_ and I might love her, but I didn't appreciate the experience.

Jacob takes control of the meeting, because tradition says so, and the world would end if they didn't follow their stupid Quileute traditions.

_I thought it best if we let you know what's going on with us first. Don't interrupt—_Jake doesn't even bother to pretend he's talking to anyone but his loser future brother-in-law—_and save your questions to the end._

He lays everything out pretty simply. Most of the Cullens are gone, the rest are going, Nessie is still his imprint, still the center of his world, but fucking Leah is fun on the side, so he's pretending like he's got a chance, like he's not going to end up doing exactly what everyone else before him has done. When he's finished, there are only a few questions.

_So the treaty holds? _

_Yes._

_Is Leah any good?_

_Ye—fuck off, Paul._

Sam echoes the sentiment. If you were to picture the most awkward feeling in the world and then cube it, you might get somewhere near the vicinity of how Sam feels, hearing people talk about the ex-love of his life this way. As it is, the feeling isn't that fun to feel, so I'm glad when he attempts to move on.

_I speak for the pack when I say we're not going to violate the treaty,_ Sam says.

_Well, that's rather anti-climatic, _Leah complains. _Seriously, Sam, you pulled us all out of bed just so Jacob could play professor and you could speak for you pack? _

A few seconds later we get Sam's answer.

No.

Ever so carefully, he speaks. If we didn't have paws, I would have sworn there was a speech in his hands, telling him what to say. It has a rehearsed air, his carefully chosen words, his perfectly measured tone. Sam wants to say this properly. He does a good job, but I still can't believe it.

_The recent events have caused me to revaluate the situation . It's against tradition to have two packs. Jacob has willingly divorced himself from the Cold Ones, showing unprecedented strength of will. He always should have been the unquestioned Alpha. I think it's about time that he takes that position permanently. _

I don't think there are words for how I'm feeling, but Leah's cursing manages to capture the sentiment close enough.

_What. The. Fuck?_

Can_ Sam step down? _Seth wonders. We all wonder. Hell, Jacob's a bit more than confused. He ends up repeating Leah, word for astonished word.

_You were always supposed to be in charge,_ Sam reminds Jacob. _I was just there until you grew up. I think you've proven you have, Jake. I know this is coming out of nowhere, and the five of you have gotten used to the relative peace and quiet of just yourselves, but I think it's time we brought the family back together. _

It sounds like it's the end of his speech, but my luck's not that good. Sam decides to put us through the needless torture of listening to each individual member of his pack say how glad they are Jacob might take charge, as if Jake really cared what they thought. Worse, they all did it sincerely, even if they did it jokingly. Even Paul manages some genuinely honest warm fuzzy feelings.

It's disgusting.

It also really seems to be happening.

Sam steps forward once the parade of servitude has stopped. _So, Jake, what do you say?_

_Shit, Sam. Wow._ Jacob looks to us for ideas, but we're mostly just in shock. _I need to talk it over with my pack first. _

He and Leah take a moment to go back and forth, telling each other this is real, that it's actually happening, that it might even be a good thing. Convincing them it's true is Seth the Beta, who keeps saying how wonderful it'll be to have everyone together again, how it'll be great to be one tribe again, how big this is of Sam, how their problems are solved.

Neither Jacob nor Leah really believe him, but eventually they remember that Quil and I are alive too. We keep our answer simple—_we're going to follow you._ Even if that makes us idiots.

_This is a lot to take in at once,_ Jacob says to Sam. The other Alpha nods.

_Take your time. We can combine next week. That way you have some time to prepare. _

_A week? _He pulls himself together. _That sounds good. Wow. I never thought it would be that easy. I never thought you'd step down._

_It wasn't mine to keep._

Jacob flinches, just a little bit; Leah pretends not to notice, clings to mate like it means something. Maybe it does. Maybe being official mistress is better than not belonging at all. Seth's tail brushes my side and I growl at him, just a little bit.

_Why do I think there's more to this story?_ Jacob asks.

Sam shrugs, glad he's been pressed. Happy news is meant to be shared. _Emily's pregnant. That's my first responsibility, not this. I hope you understand._

We can hear Leah mutter,_ Let's hope you don't scratch it's face off,_ but Jacob makes it so Sam can't. All the other Alpha hears is Seth's earnest congratulations, before the rest of us pull it together enough to echo the sentiment, even if it's less eagerly. I think I manage to do more than grunt, but I'm not sure. I'm trying not to think of other things. Leah manages to sound almost like she means it, and Jacob speaks so quickly after she does that Sam barely has time to register she's said anything at all.

_It was good talking to you again, _Jacob says finally. _We'll see you next week, same time?_

_Sounds good, _Sam agrees.

The connection breaks and I feel like I've been left alone in the woods, naked, for days. Oh wait. That's what my life is always like. Still, it's a disturbing feeling and it reminds me why reuniting with the others is a good idea. As cliché as it sounds, we do belong together. Sam's plan isn't just necessary to satisfy tradition; we need to combine in order to be at peace. Maybe it's a wolf thing, like Seth and the Cullens think, or something else. Whatever the reason, the feeling is there, and it's not going away.

There's not much sense in having a meeting, but we'll do it anyway, for formality's sake. The outcome is already predetermined. Sam was utterly convinced Jacob would accept his idea and he was right to be so. It's unnatural to be divided like this, we all know it. We can't help wanting to be made whole again.

Normally there would be a hesitation—can you really remake what has been broken so it's as good as new? But there's no question in us. Unity is ingrained in our very DNA. Coming back together will be painless, because it's secretly what we all want.

Well, most of us.

Leah's a little hesitant, but she'll relent eventually. Her discomfort at the thought of being outnumbered by guys sixteen to one is nothing compared with the inherent desire to have the peace that even she can't pretend she doesn't miss. If she bothers to protest, it'll just be for show. We're really going to do this.

I wonder what Sam will say when he finds out Leah decided to make herself Jacob's mate? His emotions are going to be pretty messed up—I sort of can't wait.

_Why are you in such a shitty mood?_ Quil asks me as Sam's pack finally disappears.

_Am not. We going to talk about the integration thing or not? _

_Do you guys want some time to think about it?_ Jacob asks.

He's clearly asking for his own sake, and maybe Leah's, but Seth speaks up. Even though Seth Clearwater's unofficial motto is 'can't we all just get along?' the kid dutifully says, _It might be nice to have a minute. You okay, Embry?_

It's the most annoying thing on the planet, not being about to think your own thoughts. Worse than the feeling of knowing someone went around and touched all things in your home while you were out, it makes me want to scratch at my skin, knowing my so-called-friends are sitting there dissecting every thought I have. There's a reason humans never evolved into a telepathic species. If normal people could hear every thought in their neighbor's head, there would be mass suicides. Everywhere. All the time. People would no longer be able to pretend that the human race wasn't completely beyond redemption, if they could hear other people's thoughts.

I phase back, tired of the endless prattle (Leah's seen everything there is to see before and she can get over herself—I can't believe the impossible female belongs more than I do). Sometimes, your thoughts should be your own. There's only so much of Seth's endless understanding that a person can take.

The giant wolves in the clearing let me pass easily enough. The pow-wow continues without me. I'm going home. I got up too early this morning.

I find the clearly where we left our clothes and start digging through the pile, looking for my pants. It's only a moment before I hear someone walking up behind me.

"What's your problem now?" Jake asks. He's distracted, asking more because he's supposed to, than because he gives a shit. I guess running the tribe requires the sort of attention I can't manage.

"I want to go home. Call me if you need me."

"If you don't want to rejoin Sam's pack, we don't have—"

"Rejoining Sam's pack would be one of the few good decisions you ever made as our leader."

He grabs his pants right out of my hand. I think if I had been dressed he would have slugged me. I guess his girlfriend isn't the only one who can piss him off. Good to know.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Who are we kidding, Jake? What have you done for us besides force us to protect the bloodsuckers? That's putting the whole community at risk and you don't give a shit, as long as Nessie doesn't have to wait for her bedtime story—"

"I never said I would be any good at this."

"—but who cares if you're remotely qualified, because your fucking great-grandfather was somebody important so you must be the right guy for the job. What a lucky coincidence, you and your girlfriend have the same ancestor."

The words are flying so quickly out of my mouth, a hell of a lot of spit comes with them. "That makes you second cousins, you idiot. Kissing cousins. Like royalty. Or trailer trash. Of course, no one gives a shit. They practically applaud you. The great and noble house of Black, aligning with the Clearwaters. How fucking European. You all make me sick."

That gets me shoved into a tree, hard, so hard I can hear the wood snapping behind me, noise like gunshots. He's in my face, but he hasn't managed to cut off my air just yet, so I keep going, "Just 'cause Ephraim Black was head of the pack doesn't mean you have any right. It doesn't mean Seth has any business trying to help you run things. It's like Dumber trying to help Dumb. Better leave town now, because La Push is screwed."

I'm on a roll now and he hasn't broken my jaw. What's wrong with him? "Like the little punk could help you. If it's not about his precious leeches, he doesn't know shit. But who cares, right? His granddaddy was important and that's all you need to know."

He lets go, thankfully, because I was feeling a little lightheaded. Maybe that was just the rage (or the hurt). Unfortunately, Jacob also manages to speak.

"This is because of _Seth_?"

"What?"

"You're pissed Seth is the new Beta." He stares at me for a moment and before I can tell him he's being an idiot he realizes he's right. "Shit, Embry, it's not like I picked him for the job. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if the two of you switched."

I'm the one who hits him first. It's not very satisfying, even if it does throw him backwards a step.

"I have always been there, giving you advice. I have put up with all of your Cullen crap—I spent years singing to myself so you could go on pretending you didn't give a shit about Leah. We've been friends forever. Seth's a good kid—but he's still a damn kid. He doesn't know anything. Why the hell is he the new Beta?"

"I told you I didn't pick him, it just happened!"

"And it keeps happening! Why is it always happening?"

His fingers are still feeling at the bruise on his face, but he still hasn't hit me back. He finds it more efficient to say, "He came with me first. Say what you want, but Seth was here first. He might be just a kid, but he could be good at this, once he grows up. He's good with people and—"

"Leah was the Beta and she's shit with people."

"That's because I used to be—I needed Leah then. And I need Seth now, to balance the two of us. You do the same stuff—you're just as important. Just without the title."

Bastards don't get titles.

"Just get away from me."

"No." I can't make him leave. "Listen, Embry. Listen to me. None of us get this wolf crap. We don't know how it works. I don't care. Human, you and Quil are my guys. Even if you've got me saying lame shit like that. Don't do this."

"And what am I doing?"

"Don't make this a big deal. This isn't anything."

"Funny how no one you supposedly care about means anything to you. I guess me and Nessie should start a club."

I've finally managed to get him mad. Too bad. "Embry, if you're pissed because you think Seth is unqualified and you're somehow figured your more qualified than Quil, well, I can fix that if you just shut your fucking trap. I can interview you all or something."

"That's such—"

"But if," he interrupts, "If this is all because twenty years ago some guy didn't bother telling you who your ancestors are, than fuck you. That's not my fault and it's not Seth's, so you need to stop blaming us."

He says it like it would be nothing to get over, like it's an inconvenient fact, not something that can eat away at you. I want to tell him to go to hell, I want to remind him it's probably his precious father who screwed around, I want to hit him again—

I phase instead.

...


	11. Chapter 8: The Past

A/N: Sorry about the long wait...and be careful what you wish for. And in case someone reading hasn't memorized Eclipse:

Taha Aki is the leader of the spirit warrior who first becomes a werewolf when he gets angry at the traitor Utlapa. His "oldest wolf-son", Taha Wi, was the first to track the Cold Ones and was killed in the process. Yaha Uta was the oldest son of the third wife and the only one of the wolves who survived the fight with the male vampire. He died fighting the vampire's mate. The third wife killed herself as a distraction so Taha Aki could kill the female vamp.

...

Chapter 8: The Past

...

So it turns out that if your current third least person in the world pisses you off enough so that you accidentally turn into a giant wolf to attack his ungrateful ass, suddenly all the really embarrassing thoughts you never wanted anybody to see because they made you sound like a two year old who broke daddy's back and still wants to get picked up are suddenly broadcasted to the very people you just swore you never, ever, _ever_ wanted to talk to again.

Who knew?

I don't want Quil, Seth and Leah in my head right now, but there they are. Leah even manages the mental equivalent of a girly scream when she sees me lunging for her boyfriend's neck—if I ever talk to her again, I am never going to let her live it down.

Not that it matters much, anyway. Ephraim Black's great-grandson is a much better werewolf than I am. Jacob hits me mid-jump, knocking me backwards, fur flying everywhere as we tumble to the earth in a mess of limbs. Even when I want to kill him, Jacob manages to beat me.

_Phase back._

He wasn't talking to me, but it's only when the quiet starts echoing that I realize it's just the two of us. I guess the others don't like watching _Family Feud_ as much as I thought.

I can hear the rueful edge to his voice. _I didn't mean it. You know that, Embry. Come on. Walk it off—and if you still want to hit me after... well, I'm going to fight back. But I'll let you get the first punch in if you try really, really hard._

_Asshole,_ I think, trying to ignore the tiny part of me that wants to smile at my best friend. _Get lost._

_Right_. In a second he's human again, walking through the trees, calling for someone to go get him some clothes. I rise to my paws, surprised to find all four legs shaking. He must have hit me a little harder than I thought, the big jerk. With a shake of my head, I clear my brain and take off.

The absolute worst thing about what Jake said is that he is right. It's not my friends' fault my father doesn't exist. Blaming them for that isn't fair. It might be fun, on occasion, but it isn't fair.

Jake knows how badly being a werewolf can screw everything up—because if you can turn into a literal monster, is there even a point in figuring out what kind of person you are, anymore?—and even his discontent is nothing compared to Leah's pure loathing. This life screwed her over completely, because I'll admit we're not always easy on her and Sam was the worst. Even Seth, though he doesn't usually dwell on it, would have gladly gone through life without meeting Edward Cullen or following Jacob, if it only meant his father was still around. And _even_ Quill could have done without the grief we give him about being the world's best babysitter. Wolf mojo just screws you over.

Why should I be special?

I never have been before.

It still sucks.

It doesn't take me long to sprint through the trees and arrive at my house. Phasing back, I hurry inside and grab some clothes to tie to my leg before heading back out. Disappearing into the woods behind my house, I phase on alert, ready to turn back if there are any voices in my head. Nothing. Relaxing, I take off towards Forks.

Even though I'm now calm, I still think it isn't fair. Seth might have joined first but that was because he was crazy—if Jake had asked for support on a more reasonable issue, I would have been there in an instant. Hell, I almost joined anyway. It's just the break had come as such a shock I didn't know what to do. I mean, really, there _wasn't_ a guarantee the lump currently knows as Renesmee was not going to kill us all in our sleep. But I would have helped anyway, if he had just given me one second to figure out what was going on.

Besides, it wasn't because Seth was there first. He was there before Leah too, but Jacob had been able to switch the Clearwaters because they were of the same blood. I had never been a contender.

There's really only one place for me to go to when I'm feeling this worthless. It's hard to feel like nothing when you have a purpose; you're worth something when someone is giving you a reason to move forward. Marian lives over in Forks, but I can make it over faster if I run as a wolf. It gets a little tricky as I run through the streets—this huge, dangerous bear-like wolf in the middle of the city—but I'm good at playing shadow, the power in my paws giving me the force to move with speed enough to be merely a grey flash in the corner of everyone's eye. No one ends up screaming for the police, so I figure I'm okay.

I change by the little shack in the backyard that serves as a garage and head towards the front door. It only takes a moment for someone to answer the door.

"Morning, Embry," Aaron greets me. "I didn't know you got up this early."

I forgot that he had a day off today. Surprising, because I have his schedule memorized on a good day. "It's been a strange day, sir."

"Are you alright?"

No. Not at all. You can't be all right when you want to cry at hearing three words from an older man's lips, not even the three words you really need from someone else's. I swallow the lump in my throat, choke back that swell of emotion, push down the self-loathing and try and ignore how desperation can taste bitter on the tongue.

"Is Marian home, sir? I just wanted to talk to her."

"I'll call her down," he assures me. I guess I look too pathetic for him to turn me away. "Come on in."

I sit on the couch wishing it was the one from my house, where I could pick absentmindedly at the stuffing that protrudes from beneath the threadbare material. The second hand couch Marian's family keeps in front of the television doesn't even have a thread sticking out for me to pull at. I just have to wait patiently as Marian comes down the stairs and asks her father to go outside.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see her, beautiful and reassuring as always. She had been enjoying a quiet morning in sweatpants and ponytail and half painted nails, but she comes over to me quickly. Soft and sad, she sits down beside me on the couch, taking the hand that I hadn't already put around her shoulders.

"I missed you," she says.

I lean my head on top of hers, grateful, relieved. "Me too."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm good now."

"Do you mind if I watch TV then?"

"Okay, but I'm warning you now, anything with brand names will destroy my good mood."

"Baby. O.C. reruns aren't that bad."

They are, but Aaron is outside and she has seen this crap a hundred times. I'm sure I'll find something better to do.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

Marian or Mischa Barton?

What a decision.

I tell her what happened, though I leave out exactly what Jake did to impress Sam. As always Nessie and the vampires (I should copyright that in case she wants to start a band) aren't supposed to be talked about. No need to scare my imprint. Besides, I'm not allowed to.

"Do you want me to be angry with them?" she asks when it's all over.

"No. I just...don't tell me I overreacted."

"You didn't. It can't be an overreaction if it's the way you feel. Besides, it's not like you managed to hurt him."

"Hey! I'll have you know I tried my hardest."

She gives me the sweetest smile, so I have to lean over and kiss her. A few minutes later, she pulls away and sighs.

"He shouldn't have said that to you."

Loyalty surges through me. "I shouldn't have said anything first. At least, if he doesn't kick my ass, Leah will." Jacob never wanted to be Alpha. He doesn't take criticism well, and I know it. It makes me a shitty best friend that I tried to use that against him.

Marian's response is cut off by the sound of ringing. It's the doorbell. Having kicked Aaron outside, there is no one left but us to answer. With a sigh, she stands up, adjusting her ponytail as she heads towards the door. I go back to not picking at the couch.

Marian's hello is so quiet, I don't even need to hear who she is talking to before I can narrow it down to four possibilities. Actually, three. Leah would probably already be screaming. I consider sneaking out the back. There isn't an answer I can hear, but Marian comes back into the room and leans over the back of the couch, to gently kiss my cheek.

"Talk to him," she says. "He looks really worried. I'll be out back."

I hate that kid.

Marian drifts out of the room as Seth comes in behind her, sitting on the armrest of the couch, watching me warily. I glare and he jerks back just enough that it causes me to smile. Yeah, I'm an asshole. The kid will get over it.

"Why are you here?"

"You can't hide from us forever. We can read your mind."

"I meant why you."

"Because Jake doesn't want to have to beat you up and Quil says it's my fault so I have to fix it. They're mature that way." Seth laughs at himself a little, even as he speaks the truth.

My friends and I are immature. Duh. We jump off cliffs in our spare time, don't understand why all food isn't finger food and think thumb wrestling is a good way to settle arguments. Nothing wrong with that. It took far too much maturity up to line up and face certain death that I think we've earned a little bit of immaturity in our lives.

Makes us shitty shrinks, though.

"So they sent you to talk about my feelings." I can't help snorting to myself. "Should we start by holding hands, or can we skip right to the part where I cry on your shoulder?"

"As used to as I am at hearing humor used as a wildly scary defense mechanism, Embry, it would be sort of nice if you would just cut it out and actually listen to what I have to say."

"Naw. I'm good."

"I should also mention I'm really good at detecting bullshit. But keep at it if you want."

"Fine." I shrug and lean back on the couch, putting my feet up like I'm visiting a psychiatrist. Bring on the drugs. I hear Prozac can do wonders for your health. "So should I start with my Mommy issues? Or can we just assume the Freudian stuff will stick and move on to my other early childhood traumas?"

Over the years, I've noticed that Seth's been working on his glare. It's still not as good as his sister's (not that I'll admit it to her, but Leah gives good glare) but the kid's not doing too bad right now.

"Fine," I say again, but this time I actually mean it. "I'm listening."

It takes him by surprise, because he believes I'm serious (smart boy) and hadn't been expecting it to be that easy. But to be honest I'm not that mad anymore. It hurts, and I wish he hadn't gotten rid of Marian just yet, but it's not banging away in my head, making me more and more crazy. It's just there. Painful and throbbing, but possible to ignore. Let Seth say his piece.

"Uh...okay. I just think...I think you missed the whole point. We're a pack, Embry. So it doesn't matter where we're standing at the ending of the day because we're together. And if you think I'm the beta just because of who my dad is...well, then I don't want it. Dad wouldn't want me to have." He scratches the back of his head. "Besides, if I'm supposed to help Jake, clearly I need the best help there is to help me."

I snort.

Seth continues, "Jake's always going to listen to you. You're his best friend. Now...now he'll just listen to both of us. Doesn't mean you're not his best friend. I mean, I might get to see your first day of school live in Technicolor, but I wasn't the one who was there."

"I thought we told you to stay out of our heads," I mock growl.

"Stop thinking so loudly."

I roll my eyes but get up off of the couch, with a "Not too bad for your first day, glorious beta."

"Fuck off," he mutters, but he lets me hug him congratulations.

There's a reason Jacob sent Seth, and not just because the kid really does have potential somewhere in that thick head of his, if he could just get in the habit of not always being the good guy. I could have gotten righteously indignant at my two best friends, who could very well be my half brothers. It's one thing to scream at guys who might be living the life I could have been living. It's quite another to whine about not knowing my father to the kid who had been so ridiculously tight with his father and then been so young when the guy died.

Comparatively speaking, it's worse losing what you know then never having it to begin with. Better too, but worse.

But unless I want the conversation to devolve into some big "I want my Daddy" pity party, I have to end it soon.

And...he does have a point.

Quil and I are already unofficial beta wolves. Now, Seth can get a say too. Probably be better for the Cullens that way. As much as I hate to admit it, that would be a good thing. Better to work with everyone than to fight them—harder, too, but better.

"You want to go for a run tonight, or something?" I ask, to show there are no hard feelings.

"I got a date." Seth looks sheepish, but asks, "You want to head over to the Cullens? Jake got called to work and Leah could use some help."

"I don't know...my arms hurt today. I might not be able to restrain her as well as usual."

"Just get her off them before she causes any permanent damage," he sighs.

"Promise. Now get out of here so I can say goodbye to my girlfriend."

Seth smirks, but says nothing as he shows himself out. Leah really did get all the tactless genes in the family. I don't get how they're even related most of the time, except maybe that since Leah got all the mean, bitter and dangerous characteristics, the only thing left for Seth were the happy, loving ones. They really are just plain old opposites.

There must be something good about Leah. After all, as much as I hate leaving Marian and it takes me almost four hours to say goodbye, I still do it. And I don't mind, that much. It's actually the Cullens I want to see less than her. Won't she be happy to learn I love her more than the bloodsucking fiends that kill?

It's Esme that answers the door, like always. Upstairs I can make out the sounds of Alice and Jasper not-researching (I feel a little proud of the euphemism) and wonder if I'm too late. Since the vampires have mostly given up, and a tiny part of me can't blame them for it either in the face of the utter pointlessness of it all, Leah has probably attacked and left.

Not so, I find out, as Esme tells me Leah's talking to Carlisle in the living room, if I'd like to join them. She also adds, "I also made you some filet mignon, if you'd like some of that first," so my decision's made pretty quickly.

Sometimes, Seth is right. Knowing the vampires isn't the worst thing on the planet.

I eat four, then take two with me and, with a nod at Esme, actually go to do the job I came here for. Not that I missed much.

Leah is sitting across from Carlisle, pen taping impatiently against a page. The fact she's two feet away from the vampire and not screaming about the smell is a sign of how crazy she's gotten lately.

Glancing at the book in her hand, I recognize the writing isn't hers since her writing is as familiar as my own—her writing actually resembles mine now, since our muscles obey similar instincts. Thanks to Sam's memories I know it to be Emily's and wonder if Leah got the book herself. She really is desperate.

Offering her one of the filets—which she takes without thanking me, of course—I sit down beside her on the couch.

"What did I miss?"

"Carlisle was finally going to start retelling the story Ephraim Black told him," Leah says. "Apparently that Mayan legend...isn't going to help."

Scratch one more off the list of possibilities.

Trying to keep her distracted, I glance at the book in her hand and say, "A shame Emily didn't have time to draw hearts over the i's like you know she wanted to."

"Don't be an ass, Embry," Leah says, but the corner of her mouth twitches and some of the defeat leaves her for a moment. It's a brief one, but still. Can't hurt.

"It just comes naturally," I sigh. The comradery isn't uncomfortable and I can almost forget for a second that there's a vampire right across from us. Almost. The smell really isn't easy to ignore.

"Are you ready, Carlisle?" Leah asks and I feel a little embarrassed, interrupting like this. Say what you want about the leader of the Cullens (I've said it all, a couple of hundreds of times) but he's not ever impolite and I would hate to think a leech is better at something than I am.

"Thank you, Leah," he says, like she's doing him this huge favour, letting her break up his family and try and get rid of his two year old granddaughter's future husband. Well, maybe when you put it like that...

The vampire says, "Please forgive my pronunciation. It's been a long time since I spoke these words, even longer since I've heard them."

Then he begins.

The pack must have heard the story of spirit warriors, Taha Aki, and the third wife about a billion times before now, but Leah and I settle in like this is actually fun. That's not to say I don't like the legends. They're pretty cool—Hollywood may have done werewolves, but they haven't gotten the last word on spirit warriors just yet. Sure, listening to the stories wasn't always the greatest, hearing about how the Makah and the Quileute were great enemies (oh yeah...that's why I hate Leah) but Billy _can_ tell a good story, when he's in the mood.

Listening to Carlisle Cullen tell them to us in an almost dead language?

A little less cool.

He speaks slowly, considerate as always. It's not exactly the easiest thing in the world, trying to analyze two stories for you're-not-sure-what when they are in two separate languages, but we don't exactly want Carlisle to be the one doing the translating for us.

We all privately suspect that Carlisle and family weren't supposed to hear the stories, that Edward pulled them out of Ephraim's head and told them to his family (and Esme didn't want to hear, because she's probably the only one of them who's got something really human left in her). Or maybe Ephraim did tell the leader of the Cold Ones who outnumbered him but wanted to sue for peace anyway (and his son) the stories of the past in a language they couldn't understand just to be contrary.

This is Jacob's great-grandfather we're talking about. Jake's got to get it from somewhere. Maybe pissing off Edward Cullen because it kind of sounds fun is just part of his genetic makeup. It's tradition, after all. He should try using that as an excuse, sometime, see what Billy says.

The real reason Ephraim didn't have to bother translating the stories into English, of course, is that the Cullens probably all learned Quileute before they headed out to Forks. They prepare like that, it seems. Worse than the Boy Scouts.

I don't think I'm ever going to ask Carlisle the truth. It's just far too much fun imagining Ephraim trying to antagonize Pretty Boy Cullen.

When Carlisle gets to the part about Taha Aki, I start paying closer attention, asking him to go even slower, to pause at the end of sentences so I can let them marinate a bit before I dissect them. The story of Kaheleha is interesting, but Taha Aki is the one who had the imprint.

And as much as it pains me to admit...Carlisle's story is better than ours. The tiny little things—a sentence cut out here or there, to save time in the telling; a detail removed so the flow of the story is more natural—are more complete in his picture than ours. I learn that Utlapa had a brother, one of the warriors that banished him. He doesn't come up again, is just one member of a nameless pack that is the support to Taha Aki's struggle, but I like knowing he was there just the same. I just wish they had remembered his name.

There are other little things, miniscule things, like the descriptions at Taha Aki's despair at seeing his stolen body wreck his tribe that mark it differently from the way Billy or Old Quil would tell the story today (Sue tells the story too, but she makes you clean up afterwards, so it's better not to listen to her).

Leah's tapping the pen again, but I'm ignoring her. I'm listening to the rhythm of the story, the lilt of Carlisle's voice, the cadence in the words—it's not quite as beautiful as it could be, because while Carlisle probably knows how to say the words better than anyone alive today, he can't _feel_ them the way we can, pounding away in his blood, and that makes all the difference. But he does a passable job and I'm caught up enough in the story that almost miss the aberration I'm watching for.

Almost.

"Wait," I say, and Leah opens her eyes, wondering what's caught my attention. "Go back to the part about Taha Wi."

"What—?" But Leah goes quiet when I glare. She lets me listen.

I'm not sure what I'm hearing, but I find it interesting. When Carlisle repeats himself, I note:

"I don't think Billy specifies that Taha Wi and his brothers are the sons of the first wife. Or that the second wife died giving birth to his only daughter."

"That's because the women aren't important. Not until the the third wife comes in," she reminds me. "You're missing the point of the story, Embry. Super special third wife and Taka Aki's all consuming love."

She never liked this story, because it always screamed Sam and Emily to her. Now it screams Bella the martyr too, and she won't forgive Jacob for finding that attractive even though...it's nice saving the girl, every once and a while.

"Yeah but...never mind."

"No," she sighs, "What is it?"

"If Yaha Uta is the eldest son of the third wife...that's five kids, plus the all ones who stopped shifting before the story of the Cold Ones begins...all from the first one, who should be old by the end. That just seems like a lot of kids to me."

"Men had more children then," Carlisle says. "Especially strong men, especially those who were immortal."

Did the vampire just make a joke?

"That's all women did in those days," Leah sighs. "Pop out kids. Of course he had a lot of them. It's all the wives were supposed to do. Don't you remember? When Utlapa was in charge the first wife has to put up with two other wives just because he said so and he was the Chief. The tribe disapproves, but no one really does anything, because who gives a shit about how she feels? And we won't get into how even super special third wife doesn't even get a damn name."

She rolls her eyes, sighs. The joys of listening to a woman bitch about thousands of years of injustice that—sorry as I am—I don't really have the power to fix, now do I?

"You just feel sorry for the first wife because they say she was a fighter." It's Carlisle's adjective, not ours, but it's one I can remember Old Quil using sometimes, too. "Sorry I said anything. On with the story of Yaha Uta."

"Who probably isn't that great, either. Probably had to be saved by his older brother."

Just because she's bitter, doesn't mean she has to badmouth the dead, I think. It isn't hard to see why she would think that, though. It's not one of my memories, but one of the first things I think of when someone says battle against the Cold Ones is those gleaming yellow eyes, the feeling of hopelessness, the desperation to rise above it (rise above them all—rise above _Sam_) and then the horror at my mistake, the feel of Jacob's weight on my shoulder, throwing me out of the way...and the sight of him being crushed slowly by the vamp I knew I shouldn't have attacked in the first place.

Leah doesn't like the story about the older brother being crushed while his younger one is too slow to save him. It makes her realize just how colossally she almost fucked up that day. Don't really blame her for it, though she's less like that brother than Taha Wi, the one who ordered half the pack to return home as he engaged the unknown and dangerous. Stupid, dumb, idiotic...but I'd bet they'd do it every time, if it kept the younger brother safe.

And then it hits me.

"Wait. Could you go over the part where the wolves find out they age if they stop transforming again?"

"Certainly," Carlisle says, even as Leah looks like she's getting a headache.

"What about it?" she asks when he finishes.

"Taha Aki fathered many children, and some of these found that at the age of adulthood they, too, could transform into wolves," I repeat after Carlisle, in English. "The wolves were all different, because they were spirit wolves and reflected the man they were inside. Some of the wolves became warriors with Taha Aki, and they no longer aged. Others, who did not like the transformation, refused to join the pack."

"I heard."

"Yeah but...it's different Leah. It's...it's gender neutral."

"What?"

It's a crazy idea, but I keep going with it. "When Carlisle tells it, they aren't wolf-men. They're wolf-people. And they say the first wife...I think...I think that when some of the werewolves stopped aging, one of them was his first wife."

She blinks. Three times.

"You're an idiot, Embry."

"Why?"

She usually has a list about a mile long, but she doesn't consult it at this moment. Instead, she gapes a little bit, then sputters, "That's not possible. There are no female werewolves."

"No," I remind her, "We all just thought there weren't female werewolves. Everyone assumed that it was impossible—nobody who told those stories, stories of magic and impossible things, thought a female werewolf was possible. But—Leah—don't you remember what Old Quil said? The pack's never been as big as is now—_except in the time of Taha Aki_. Maybe, maybe that was because his wife was helping to pass on the gene too."

I glance at Carlisle, because Leah's in shock, and it would be nice to have someone intelligent commenting.

"It's an interesting theory," Carlisle says. "It also is the only explanation I've heard for the possibility of a female werewolf since we've been here. I don't know if it—"

"It's not interesting."

We both start at Leah's interruption, even though she's whispering so quietly a human couldn't have heard her. Her eyes have gone wide and there sounds like there's something funny with her breathing.

"She wasn't a werewolf," Leah announces. It doesn't really help her case that her voice is breaking. "She can't—it's not possible."

The couch flies back a little when she stands up. Carlisle is sitting back in his chair, looking at both of us with a worried expression. We aren't that dangerous when we transform unexpectedly, but I can't say I blame the vamp for being scared. I'm scared. But that's mostly because I'm not sure what exactly I've done.

Leah doesn't stop to tell me. She just marches out of the room like something's on fire and doesn't look back, even when I call her. Shooting an apologetic look at our host, I hurry from the room. She's got a good lead, but my legs are longer.

I grab her arm just outside the Cullen residence. She jerks back and almost pulls my arm off when I don't let go fast enough.

"Don't touch me!" she shrieks, loud enough that I stumble backwards. "Don't—Embry, she can't have been a wolf, she can't."

"Why? It can be a good thing, Leah. It means you're not the first. It means you're natural. It means—"

"It means it's because we're wolves." The way she's choking out the words makes me stop, even though I don't follow. "Taha Aki needed sons, so he got a werewolf girl. Some sort of _breeding_ machine!"

"That's good! It means you can have kids. It means you were practically meant to have them with Jake."

Somehow, that was the wrong thing to say.

"You—No wonder he left you!"

I back away, body shaking violently, trying to get out of the way of the flying clothes, the teeth, the fangs—she doesn't come after me, surprisingly, but we were standing too close and I almost lose my nose. It doesn't matter; I've already lost my shape. My skin has flown apart. The bruise Leah's stuck at (she knows how to find a weakness like no one else) is too fresh. I can't help the rage that licks through me—none of us can. That's why being a werewolf is a curse, and not something cool, like getting a car for your birthday.

We take off in opposite directions. We're both furious, but not at each other, and even though beating the shit out of the other would feel nice, there's still tiny parts of us that are human. We're not going to go that far, if we can help it.

Besides, she doesn't want me in her head. I'm still too angry to phase back, so she's stuck with me, but that doesn't mean she's not going to try and put as much physical distance between us to stop me from hearing what she's thinking. If anyone could do that, it would be Leah. She's the fastest. The fact that it's not working just proves it's impossible.

I really wish it would work.

The memory is sharp, like I've been plunged in a tub of ice water and just had my nerve endings frozen off. The words themselves are crude, as Leah often is. The meaning she now gives them makes me a little sick.

_I only love you for your dick, Jake._

It's the only concrete thought I receive from her, because her thoughts are going so rapid fire that I feel a little sick. It's all stops and starts and stutters, though as my paws fly over the earth I begin to understand.

Maybe it wasn't just because he grew a foot or two and gained muscles that made the Rock look wimpy that made Jacob suddenly her favorite thing to look at in town. Maybe it wasn't years of sexual repression that had the unable to keep their hands off each other, even though she really was an uber-bitch to him and he liked his girls waif-like (not to mention stupid). Maybe the reason Jacob Black was the only werewolf to realize a woman beyond his imprint existed was because he needed her to push out puppies first...

_There is no maybe, Embry,_ she says in my head. She sounds calmer than she has in a while and somehow that's worse. _'You and your girlfriend have the same ancestor'—remember? You said so yourself. Besides his sisters, I'm the closest female relation he's got. Close but not too close. I'm the perfect mother for his fur covered spawn._

_Leah..._

It's true, in a way. She's probably the best candidate from that perspective, but that doesn't mean it's actually the case. Imprinting is a force of nature, not a sentient being. But she doesn't let me get that far.

_Now get out of my head. _There's a brief pause, where I prepare to protest, where something large and ugly seems to solidify in her mind. She doesn't hide her snarl. _By order of the Alpha female._

And before I can even consciously recognize the command, my body obeys, and I'm naked in the woods.

It takes me a long time to wander back to the Cullens. It was supposed to be a cool footnote to our history that I had managed to discover (with help from the vampires, I guess). It wasn't supposed to do this.

Leah can be dumb. She's got to know Jake's interest in her lies beyond some unconscious desire to father children. Doesn't it?

I'm not so sure, and the relief I feel at seeing Seth on the Cullen porch almost makes me laugh. One pathetic attempt at a pep talk this morning and already I think the kid can make sense of the big bad world for me? I've got issues.

And more problems than I can handle, as Seth has very bad news for me.

"What happened?" he demands before I even open my mouth.

"What do you mean?"

"We heard the howling, Embry. The two of you were just supposed to be researching—"

"What howling?"

"The howling the whole rez heard. Not to mention the whole fucking state. Jeez, Embry. And then when Jake and I got here, the Cullens said the two of you had freaked and left."

"Where's Jacob?" Is that me sounding so scared?

"He transformed to follow you. But," and I'm not a telepath right now, but I can tell this is the part that's got him the most worried, "When I started getting ready to follow, he phased back and told me to wait here. He...he ordered me to stay here, while he went after you and Leah by himself."

I glance back at the forest. There's an uncomfortable heavy feeling in my stomach, and no stopping it. "So he's in there with Leah, right now?"

"What happened?"

Seth sounds terrified, and I know I'm not helping to ease his mind. I can't help it. I'm too busy staring at the trees, hoping they reveal our missing pack members soon, to worry about his feelings.

We don't wait long.

There's a rustle in the bushes, and then they part and Jacob is marching back. I can't read the expression on his face and that scares me more than anything has today because he's been my best friend forever—I can always understand him. Only now there's just a calm mask, that doesn't quite hide everything as he barks to Seth, "Go give your sister some clothing."

The kid shrugs out of his shirt and hustles to the woods, sparing only a puzzled glance for the Alpha who's begun pacing along the porch.

"Jake?"

"She was right, Embry. How come she has to be fucking right?"

His voice rises, into something that's not quite a shout. I don't really have an answer because even my ever ready supply of wisecracks has dried up.

I turn to watch the Clearwaters coming back, because it's easier than looking at Jacob right this second. Not by much. Leah looks like she's been running for days, though it couldn't have been more than an hour, and I'm pretty sure she's only upright because Seth's got his arm around her shoulders that tightly.

"What's going on?" Seth repeats.

"Leah was right," Jacob says, and he even gives a mock bow. It should piss her off. It pisses _me_ off, and I'm not his moody girlfriend with anger issues. The fact that it just makes her cringe makes me feel a little sick. "It's my fault. All this wolf stuff, my fault."

"What?"

I wince, though my sympathy is with the kid. How is he supposed to know he's entered a minefield?

"The reason she's a wolf, the reason Sam left, the reason her dad died, the reason her life sucks...all because of me." If Jacob didn't look so upset, I might have hit him myself. Leah doesn't move an inch. "Because I need a mate, someone with a good genetic background. And she was the closest."

"It's why he's attracted to me, despite the mini-monster," is all she says.

"Don't call her that." Jacob's voice echoes through the clearing. "Don't—just don't, Leah. Don't. And don't come after me."

He transforms before we can do more than blink. Jacob disappears into the forest and the three of us just watch. We're quiet for a minute, until Leah can't hold back the sobs anymore. She collapses back and the weight of her throws Seth for a second, so that they end up on the ground, as she tries to force herself together again.

It's hard to see yourself as battling destiny when it turns out you were destined to do it.

"Leah..." I'm not sure what I'm going to say, but I have to do something and so the words just tumble out. "Jake's just a little confused right now. Let him go for a run, work it out. He—I'd bet every cent I have that he still loves you."

She snorts. She laughs. She makes this horrible barking sound that makes me cringe.

"Of course he loves me, Embry," she spits out. "He has to."


	12. Chapter 9: The Explanation

...

Chapter 9: The Explanation

...

"What did I miss?"

The second the words are out of Quil's mouth, I think he realizes it was a bad idea. Because now I'm glaring at him, and I can see Seth glaring at him, and the fact Leah _isn't_ glaring at him has got to be the biggest clue of all that something has just gone catastrophically wrong.

But someone has to answer, and the two Clearwaters are too busy sitting on the ground wallowing in their abandonment issues (takes one to know one, right?) to say anything, so it has to be me. I'm the one who has to tell him:

"Jacob went for a run."

"A run...?" He frowns, but ever so slowly gets it. "Or a...run?"

"A run."

Quil doesn't ask if Jake's going to hit Canada before he talks to us again, because he already knows I have no clue. He just lets off a stream of curses. Then he glances at Leah and with more tact than I possess in my whole body silently asks me what happened.

"Later," I mouth, but I'm a screw up. Leah sees.

She gets to her feet now. There's mud all over her legs and dirt in her hair and a scratch on her cheek, but Leah usually looks like that after she's gone for a hard run. It could be any other day, really.

"We figured out why there's a female werewolf," she says in a clipped voice. "Apparently, big strong Alphas need proper breeding machines before they can settle down with their super special imprints. So here I am. And there Jacob goes, because apparently my ovaries aren't as attractive after he's been told he won't be able to stay away from them."

Quil's eyebrows travel up and up. "Um, okay."

"The Cullens are watching us," I point out. I'm too tired to be hateful. We have messed up their front yard. "We have to tell them something."

"And Sam," Leah says dully. I guess being the Alpha female is too hardwired in for her to stop. "We're supposed to join up next week and we can't not show up with an Alpha."

"I'll surrender to Sam if you grovel before the Cullens," I offer Quil.

"Can I point out that Jake left, like, fifteen minutes ago?" Seth says. "Can we give him twenty-four hours before we give up on him ever coming back?"

"He's probably already half-way to South America," Leah says. "There's no point in him staying away from her now."

"Do you all want to commit mass suicide and be done with it? Because you're seriously the most annoying bunch of defeatists that I've ever met." Seth almost sounds angry, which is not nearly as surprising as the way he simply yanks his sister to her feet. "Before we pass around the Kool-Aid, Embry, you are going to apologize to the Cullens, promise to clean up, and tell them to mind their own damn business. Quil is going to check in with Jacob—who probably is in Canada and not South America, because the last thing he needs right now is to deal with another overly needy mess. Because, Leah? You need to snap out of it."

He's actually angry now, which is weird enough that Leah does look like she's pulling herself together, if only for a second.

"I'm not allowed to be miserable that my life sucks?"

"Look on the bright side," he orders.

"The part where he's going to leave no matter what?"

"I think I've missed half of what happened, but if you keep calling yourself his breeding machine...hey, Lee? I think that means you can have kids now."

Leah blinks at her younger brother.

"You're a retard," she announces, but there's the tiniest hint of smile. "That's—shut up."

"Shutting up," Seth agrees.

But she's standing upright by herself now. Since I like Seth's plan a lot better than my own (curling up in bed and crying _is _kind of a lame plan), I head inside to get the Cullens off our backs. Quil starts shedding his clothes to check in on our MIA leader.

"Is everything all right, Embry?" Esme asks as soon as I enter the house. I'm glad it's her I have to deal with. I don't really feel like being a dick right now.

"You don't need to worry right, Mrs Cullen. We can just get a little over-dramatic sometimes. All those wolf hormones. We're sorry we scared you. The second Quil gets back we'll clean up and head off."

"You don't have to," she says. "We can clean up, later. Do any of you need spare clothing? We have some that should be your size."

I used to find it annoying. Now I find it sad. How much time on your hands do you have to have before helping the disasters that are us sounds like fun? Despite the anger issues, we clearly got the better supernatural deal. Poor vamps. I force a smile.

"Sure, Mrs Cullen. Whatever you have would be fine."

I let her fuss over me, the way Seth always let's them. Maybe it's because I'm kind of in shock right now, worried about the future of my family, or maybe it's because Seth's the one who told me to hang out with them and he's always had a funny way of looking at the vampires. But whatever the reason, today their overbearing tendencies and ever so kind orders don't chafe. I just feel sorry for them—and if that's not a sign that everything's fucked up, I don't know what is.

Yet at the same time...if they have to fawn over us, if they have to act like our almighty owners in order to trick themselves into believing they are still part of the circle of life, who am I to stop them?

I think I just found my Zen.

I'd feel rather proud of myself, if I wasn't so deathly scared that my word as I know it was about to end.

We wait for Quil in relative silence. Leah tries to salvage her pants and when that fails, she resorts to cursing up a storm, which is comforting for its familiarity, if nothing else. Seth is sitting calmly on the steps while I try not to pace. I'm not sure how well I succeed, since Seth is the first to Quil's side when the brown wolf enters the clearing.

"Well?"

"Naked, here," my best friend snaps, before snatching at his clothes. "He headed north—"

"Told you."

"Shut up, Seth."

"He headed north," Quil repeats, "It's not exactly pretty in his head, right now. He's doing that running to block out everything thing he always does. Only this time he wants us interfering even less. Told me to phase back."

"Did he say—?"

"Get the fuck out of here was the gist of the conversation, Seth. But he has to cool off eventually. I say we get out of here."

The three of us look at Leah, who's already marching off. Even now, after she's encouraged it so much, she doesn't like our pity. She doesn't need directions to Quil's truck, she's still got a great nose, so we let her take the lead.

"We have to go to Charlie's. We need my mom," Seth decides. "And there's no place else."

That is true enough, even though I can't really see Leah Clearwater happily greeting Charlie Swan right now. But there really isn't any place else we can stick her. And don't girls always want their mothers when they get dumped?

Did she get dumped? I don't know, but I'm not stupid enough to ask.

The four of us climb into the car. Quil came after work. He heard the howling, but thought we could handle it without him. Turns out he was as wrong as you could be, but for different reasons. I guess I shouldn't complain—at least no one's died.

Yet.

My sense of humor seems intact, if rather morbid. Seth's right. There is a positive if you look hard enough.

We drop the Clearwaters up in Forks. Leah walks to the house without a word, but Seth invites us over after up supper. After he extends the invitation there's a moment of silence. I can tell the three of us are wondering the same thing. Can we have a pack meeting when the two people in charge are in no position to lead?

Are we even a pack anymore?

"Stop looking like that, Embry," Seth tells me, before he slams the door shut and hurries inside after his sister.

Beside me, Quil shifts the truck into gear. "Kid's got a point, you know. That hangdog look isn't good on you."

"Fuck off."

"Yeah, yeah. You want a ride to Marian's?"

"Sure. You heading to Claire's after?"

He doesn't even have to answer.

Funny how all we want now is to sit down next to our girls. There's no fighting the impulse, even if we were the type of people who didn't always follow our instincts. Right now, we just need to confirm our destinies are not as awful as everyone else seems to think. They are the opposite of awful. They are the most wonderful girls in the world—and pack or not (I'm almost sick at the thought), at least we have them.

It's a sign of how crappy I feel right now that even Marian doesn't sound like much of consolation prize.

She might be the center of my universe but without my friends, it's a pretty shitty universe. Jacob will come back. Probably. Leah's idea that he would just head to South America might still happen, but he'll probably come back first. I hope. But even if Jake does come back, it's stupid to pretend everything will go back to the way it once was.

Leah's done with us. It might not have occurred to her just yet, but I'm pretty sure that's what'll happen as soon as she finishes a couple tubs of Ben and Jerry's. There's nothing to tie her to La Push, except her brother who won't make her feel guilty if she wants to leave and her mother who would survive the nuclear holocaust along with the cockroaches and Keith Richards. So Leah will leave. Jacob tried running to northern Canada, but Leah will probably see if swimming the Pacific won't get her out of her erstwhile boyfriend/potential breeding partner's head. Bet she would think it was worth it.

There's a part of me that thinks we might be better without all of Leah's bitchy comments, but it's a very small part of me, and it knows it's being stupid. That's not the way it works. The five of us weren't just thrown together randomly. The grand hand of fate (it might be lame, but I didn't make the rules) put us together. Together. One team. And it won't work the same way if Leah's not there.

Besides, I'm pretty sure her little brother will be pissed that she's gone. Hell, I can't guarantee that Quil and I won't be a little pissed as well. Jacob might be our best friend...but he couldn't have just kept it in his pants? Yeesh.

"Think you could pick me up later tonight?" I ask Quil as I hop out of the truck.

"Sure. Hey, Embry?"

"Yeah?"

"What do we do?"

I have no clue.

"Cross your fingers. Now go play with your Barbies."

Quil flips me off, half-heartedly. My chuckle is similarly unconvincing, but neither of us calls the other on it. Instead, I wave him goodbye and head back to Marian's front door.

"Hey," she says, frowning as she sees me on her front steps. "Long time no see."

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." She moves out of the way to let me pass, but she doesn't stop looking worried. "Either I've gotten a lot more popular lately or you've had a really crappy day. And somehow I doubt I got cool overnight."

"I think you're cool," I assured her, leaning over to kiss her. She doesn't even let me, which is not exactly what I really need right now.

"Okay, now I know there's something wrong. What happened?"

"Jacob and Leah broke up."

"That sucks." She bites her lip and after a while, quietly says, "It's not the end of the world."

"What?"

"It's just...you look like it's the end of the world. And it's not. If they broke up...well, that sucks. It's going to be awkward as hell. But it does happen, Embry. It won't be easy, but if they try and act mature about it, and you ignore the occasional fight, you guys might be able to make it work."

"I thought you had met Jake and Leah."

"Okay, so it'll be _really _awkward."

"Try he took off for Canada."

"Oh. Well...maybe you could try and patch things up? You said all they did was fight. Why should this time be serious?"

"They aren't fighting with each other this time. They're mad at...life."

"One of these days I'm going to get annoyed by your continuously vague information on your friends." But she didn't look mad, just glanced behind her as I hugged her. "Dad's cooking. Mom will be home soon. Why don't you wait up in my room?"

Now that? That was what I needed.

I wait until the door of her bedroom is closed before I pick her up and kiss her, but not much longer than that. Not only am I afraid I'm having a nervous breakdown from all the mood swings I've been having today (or turning into a girl) but I did miss her.

"You sure you don't want to talk?" she asks as I lay her on the bed and get rid of my pesky shirt.

"Uh, yeah."

She giggles underneath me and we finally get to the part of my day that is guaranteed not to suck, no matter how many Alpha/Best Friend types have disappeared along the way—making Marian happy. It goes quite well, if I do say so myself. Afterwards, she has to catch her breath before she asks, "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

"Nah. I'm going over to Seth's. We have to have a _meeting_."

"You don't sound excited."

"Yeah, well. Hey, does your Dad still need me to come over tomorrow to help with the car? Because I'm probably going to want to avoid my friends."

"He's going to do it next week." She gives me this gigantic, perfect smile. "You might be the only boyfriend on the planet who is eager to hang out with his girlfriend's dad. If you could act scared of him once in a while, it might help Dad's self-esteem."

"Really?" The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt Aaron (and go to Charlie Swan's house, but I'm compartmentalizing right now). "Tomorrow I can pretend to quake in fear."

"Shut up," she tells me, giggling into her pillow. "You're too cute. Remind me to leave a dollar under my pillow for the imprint fairy."

"What?" Now I'm the one who's laughing.

"You know? Like the tooth fairy, except for imprinting."

"Okay...so you were right, before. You are totally not cool."

"Hey," she giggles some more. It hurts smiling like this, but I can't help being this happy when I watch her.

"Where did you get imprint fairy from, anyway?"

She shrugs and sits up, beginning to get herself ready for dinner. "Because my boyfriend doesn't explain things to me properly. And because you said imprinting on me was like permanent love at first sight, so I kind of imagined Cupid except cooler. Like with a cute little yellow sundress or something. Is something else the matter?"

"No," I say, kissing her. "Sorry. Smells like dinner's going to be soon."

"Yeah, we better get you downstairs before Mom gets home."

"She got home five minutes ago." Marian panics just a little so I calm her down. "Don't worry. You're parents are too busy talking about if I'm a good influence or not in the kitchen to worry about us. They're leaning towards good, by the way."

"Hopefully. I might not get grounded that way."

I don't quite succeed in calming her down, but I do an okay job. They really do like me, Marian's parents. They invite me to dinner themselves, but I have to decline. Even if we hadn't had a pack meeting for tonight, there's something I think I need to discuss with the others. Besides, Quil knocks on the door as I'm in the foyer saying goodbye, so I don't really have a choice.

It's only after we get to the Swan house, after Seth has greeted us, after Sue has glared at us, after Leah has refused to come out of her room, after we have devoured the food Sue has provided for us anyway in the living room, that I start speaking. Finally, I've learned discretion is the better part of valor (okay, I'm still a little iffy on the cliché, but I've got the discretion thing down, and the rest of it just sounds cool).

Finally, I've learned when to open my big mouth.

"You guys ever think about why we imprint?"

Quil and Seth, for two such laid-backed guys, give good incredulous looks.

"Embry," Quil sighs, "That's practically been our job for the last little while."

"Yeah, but have you guys ever come up with anything good?"

"That, Embry," Seth sighs, "Is why my sister has currently locked herself in a bedroom. There isn't a reason. Nessie's not like the other girls, but even if you ignore her...all the other girls are pretty random. Hell, if Leah really is this perfect breeding partner it actually makes even less sense that Sam imprinted on Emily instead."

"No, it doesn't."

The two of them look at me, surprised. Quil states, "You have an idea."

Maybe.

"We've always sort of treated imprinting like phasing, an instinct we have that turns on when it has to. But what if it's more complicated than that?"

"_More_ complicated?" Seth sighs.

"Yeah. What if it was more like—" Can't say fairy "—some sort of spirit. Or all-knowing god-type thing. The pack's omniscient narrator. Imagine it was looking at the big picture. And intelligent. Or at least...trying to be intelligent."

"I still don't get where you're going with this."

"I'm saying I don't think imprinting is random. I think it's less like phasing and more like the process of being chosen to phase. See the distinction?"

"Sort of." Seth scratched his head. "We don't exactly know why we get selected to phase, either. But since that always works out so well...say you're right. Say something smart is picking the imprints. What's it's goal? Protect the tribe?"

"No. I think we already exist to protect the tribe. I think imprinting exists to protect us. As a pack. It picks out the girls that will help us all function together properly, so that when something attacks, we can beat it."

Quil sighed. "Should I start with the most obvious way this is wrong? Let's go back to Sam. First guy to imprint. Didn't exactly cause inner-pack relations to go smoothly."

I took a deep breath. This was going to get convoluted, and quick. But I think it made sense, if only in my head.

"Okay, but assume I'm right that imprinting is to protect the pack. There's no guarantee that we'll live long enough to have kids, or that our soul mates will even be able to have them, or—" I swallow, because it's not a pleasant possibility, but it's one we can't ignore "—that one of us won't accidentally kill our imprint before she has kids. That's what Jacob and Leah are for, I think. He's the strongest. Even if the rest of us die...chances are he won't. The rest of us would die to protect them. So the pack lives on. And if that's correct...

"Leah wasn't the second to phase, remember?" Quil points out.

"I know. But look at the situation from the imprint fairy's point of view. The Cullens—"

"Wait." Quil looks at me like I'm crazy. "Imprint fairy?"

"I have to call it something."

"Yeah, but imprint fairy? Dude."

"Fine. We'll call her Lilith." I'm not that big on demonology, but it sounds vaguely familiar.

Seth protests. "If she's a fairy, don't you think Lily would be more appropriate? Less 'I'm going to stab you', more 'I'm going to make you fall in love?'"

"I'm not calling the spirit of imprinting _Lily_. That's lame. I'm calling it 'she' and you can both shut up."

They hold up their hands in surrender.

"Where was I?"

"Lily was worrying about the Cullens." Seth ducks his head. "Sorry, I think it's cute."

Since I've been defeated, I just go with it. "Let's assume that not everyone on the rez can transform. There's only so many of us that have the potential. The first time the Cullens come to town, they have only two decent fighters with them—so three Quileute wolves transform. No need for a girl...there's so many of the guys being held in reserve, the genes won't die out. But the second time the Cullens come back not only do they have another fighter with them—one who could conceivably plan out an epic battle to the death—they also have the psychic. Who found the Cullens and joined the Cullens...and now the possibility was in Lily's head that maybe the Cullens won't stay such a small group after all. Lily thinks to herself, it might be a good idea to keep Leah around. But first things first.

"Sam was the oldest. She activated him, but kept the pack small, just Sam, Jared and Paul. The Cullens leave, but Lily wasn't satisfied. Paul was a little bit out of control. I phased. Jake's finally old enough; he phased, too."

"But the Cullens were gone."

Considering it cemented his Edward Cullen love, Seth sure has a short-term memory. "But the stupid redhead bitch wasn't. And what we didn't know, but an imprinting fairy might, was that she was building an army. Leah phased. Now, no matter Vicky did, the line wouldn't die out."

"It also might explain why Jake saved her so quickly. That never made sense," Quil complains.

Seth snorts. "Maybe he just didn't want her to...I don't know..._die_."

"Yeah, but boy didn't even think about." Quil frowns. "If Leah's so important, why didn't Sam imprint on her in the first place?"

"Maybe Sam didn't pick Emily over Leah because Emily was better—maybe he picked Emily because only Jake was supposed to be able to pick Leah. If Leah really is supposed to be our glorious co-Chief, then maybe Sam imprinted just to get away from her."

They blink.

Seth sighs, "You really want Leah to hate you, don't you?"

I snort. "Think about it. They pledged their undying love; from the way Leah won't talk about it, I bet you Sam even proposed. Lily knew she had to get him away from Leah; Leah wouldn't have Jake's super pups if she was in love with Sam. Knowing Leah, Sam probably stayed the night. He couldn't imprint on Sue; she's the wife of an Elder—imagine that mess. But the next day Emily came by to see Leah...problem solved. Leah was free for Jacob."

"Okay," Seth says slowly. "I think I agree with you about the Cullens. The more of them there are, the more uncertain the situation, the more of us. That makes sense. And I think it even makes sense that Leah would be a sort of mate for Jacob, to keep the werewolf line alive. I will even grant you that Sam imprinting on Emily very well could have been to keep him away from Leah. But, Embry, that doesn't really explain the rest of you."

"I'm not finished." They let me continue. "Back when it was just the three of them and a lot of free time, do you remember how Sam started to clean up the rez? There was talk about him overstepping his boundaries...not that the Elders wanted to shut him down, but there were important people who started making noise. The loudest of these happened to have a daughter. They shut up when Jared imprinted on her."

"Quil?"

"Three reasons. One, it finally made Quil think phasing wasn't the greatest thing ever." My best friend sticks out his tongue at me. "Two, it prepared us for other, weirder imprints. And three, most importantly, it forced Sam to get over Leah."

The two of them look at me, surprised. "You guys don't remember Sam, before Claire. He loved Emily, couldn't stay away from her...but he wasn't sold on the imprinting business either. He wasn't sure if it was what the stories wanted. He almost killed her—surely it couldn't be right? Sometimes he talked about ways to get rid of it. Sometimes he looked at Leah a little too long.

"Quil imprinted on Claire. He was embarrassed, freaked—time for the leader to step in. Sam couldn't lie—he had to choose. He could tell Quil to fight it...and maybe Quil couldn't beat it. Then what? He thinks he's a pedophile, he kills himself before he hurts Claire...very shitty scenario. Or Sam could tell Quil to accept it. He knew Quil wasn't going to do anything wrong. Sam told Quil to accept what happened and in doing so accepted it himself. And now the whole pack accepts it as a beautiful thing."

"Jacob?" Quil seems a little less sure I'm crazy now. "If Leah's so important, why have Jacob imprint on Nessie?"

"So we wouldn't attack the Cullens." Seth comes up with the answer even faster than I do. "Obviously. There never would have been a treaty if he hadn't imprinted. There would have been a war."

"A civil war, at that," I continue. We all know Seth wouldn't have let us kill them off. And Leah hates being predictable.

"But if he's supposed have kids with Leah...?" Quil shrugs. "If Lily's gone to all that trouble with Sam, why throw it away then and there? With Taka Aki it always sounded like he imprinted so he would stop phasing. Only now Jacob imprints on an immortal? Seems dumb, if you ask me."

"You know who else is dumb? Jacob. Only person I know who goes into a murderous rampage without phasing in anger first."

It dawns on Quil first. "If Jake had phased, back up would have come."

Seth sighs. "So I get to be the sacrificial werewolf?"

"Like you would have complained about getting to spend all eternity with your boyfriend," I tease. He flips me off. "Seriously, even if it hadn't been you, you and your sister would have needed help holding him back. Someone would have showed up, imprinted on the kid. Problem—"

"Solved," the other two groan in unison. Then Quil asks, "And you?"

"I fit."

I don't want to get into how Leah kissed me, how I imprinted for the same reason as Sam. Or that if I hadn't found Marian (and Aaron—in my own head, I won't lie. It's mostly because of Aaron) I might have gone a little nuts. I wouldn't have been able to stay around my friends with their families—and their fathers.

"Say you're right," Seth says slowly.

"I am right. I think."

"Okay, sure. But...well, so what? It doesn't help us stop it. Does it?"

He still sounds hopefully; I can't help cringing. "No, it doesn't. If I'm right, it means Jacob can still be with Leah even though he's got an imprint...he's just not going to be able to be able to stop whatever he feels for Nessie at the same time."

The three of us sit in silence for a long while, hoping I'm wrong. I'm hoping I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. I think those girls have solved some of our problems, as best as they could. But Jacob had to imprint on Nessie; he couldn't be allowed to kill her. So whatever great plan destiny had for Leah is pretty much null and void.

The three of us look at each.

"I'm not telling Leah."

"Not it."

Seth sighs, but he's already standing up. Less chance of her killing her brother. We hope. Upstairs he trudges. A room over Sue is telling Charlie about her day in the hospital. The horrible, bloody reality that is a hospital emergency room is a nice backdrop for Seth's current mission.

"Jake said he wasn't coming back," Quil tells me. It should be sudden, but it's not. "He said he was done with all this wolf stuff. It can fuck up someone else's life, he said. And he said to say goodbye to you guys. But I...I couldn't. Not yet."

I glance at the doorway that Seth just walked through. "He'll come back. He always comes back."

"Maybe not this time."

We sit in silence some more, until Seth comes down the stairs, eyes huge. "Leah's gone."

"What?"

"She's not—she snuck out the window. She's gone. She must have heard us. She must have—"

"Okay, Seth," I say, standing up. "Calm down. She'll be fine. She's like the toughest thing out there. If she wants to go for a run, too, let her."

"We can't just leave her out there!"

"Why not? She'll be fine."

He hesitates, but agrees before saying, "Jake at least has to know about it. If he wants to leave, he better clean up his messes."

It seems that Leah wasn't the only Clearwater who was eavesdropping. This house must have better acoustics than I thought. Seth's shrugging out his clothes, which is actually impressive considering how badly he's shaking. Quil asks for both of us: "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to tell him he better fix this," says the kid and then he's not Seth any more, he's a sandy-colored werewolf. Not for long. In fact, he phases back so soon afterwards that I don't need him to explain that Jacob ordered him to transform back.

"Just let it go," Quil advises.

How can he? It's his sister that's not there, his blood that's miserable. I'm a selfish old asshole and I don't think I could stand it—how much worse would it be to be Seth, all loving and caring and unable to do anything?

"We'll look for her tomorrow," I promise him.

"Whatever."

Seth marches upstairs without looking at us. I don't need to glance at Quil to know—this is how a pack dies.


	13. Interlude: The Departure

...

Interlude: The Departure

...

Leah was not a claustrophobic person by nature. She couldn't be—in her family home her bedroom had been the size of some showers. She didn't really mind enclosed spaces. Or she used to not mind them, at any rate. Lately, they had disturbed her to no end.

Earlier that day she had felt claustrophobic in the forest. Hundreds and hundreds of acres of trees with an endless supply of water on one side, and Leah had felt like she was in a pressure cooker. She was not considering that it had been the presence of Jacob's thoughts in her head that had caused that feeling. Oh no. She was never considering that bastard ever again, so why should having him nearby make her feel claustrophobic?

Besides, it wasn't like he was here now. Leah blinked back the tears, furious with herself for daring to waste even a second of her life missing Jacob Black, and how he would never set foot in her craphole of an apartment ever again, never embrace her on her battered couch like he once had, never press up behind her as she lay down to sleep, never wake her with an embarrassingly long, wonderfully passionate—

Fuck Jacob Black.

With a snarl, Leah grabbed more clothes out of her dresser and shoved them into her bag, not caring if any of them ripped in the process. Wherever she ended up—and she didn't much care where, as long as it was far, far away from here—she would find better clothes. Clothes that would fit her better life, the one she would have if only she could get away from all the stupid wolf crap.

"Take that, imprint fairy," she muttered to the world at large. Whatever stupid mystical creature was ruining her life (killing her dad, killing her relationships with just about _everyone_) they would just have to suck it, because Leah Clearwater was tired of being a cosmic punching bag.

There was a knock on the door.

Leah froze, her hand still in the duffel bag. Who the hell could that be? She was faster than the rest of them. Even if Seth the wonderbrother had managed to figure out where she had run off to, there was no way in hell he would be here that fast. Was there?

Not only was she a glorified baby maker, but Leah was also officially slow. Life wasn't fair.

Ignoring the door, she headed into the washroom to grab her toiletries, stopping only to throw Jake's toothbrush in the garbage. She was not remembering how he had just plucked it from the shelf and forced her to buy it for her house, just because she couldn't help loving the over-confidence he fairly radiated. Nor was she blinking back tears because she was already so over him.

The knock came again, louder, annoying, and somewhere between stalking out of her bedroom and storming across the non-existent living room, before she turned the stupid handle, she knew. No one else would have dared knock on her door like that.

It had to be Jacob.

And of course he would be naked, sweat still clinging to him because he had just come from a run. His hair would be windswept, and his chest would be rising and falling heavily, because he had come as fast as he could. And his eyes would be burning through all her carefully erected barriers.

"Leah—"

"Get lost," she ordered. Like a proper Alpha female should, with dignity and a hell of a lot of iron. "Go away."

"I'm not leaving," Jacob said stoutly. "So you can either explain to your neighbors why there's a naked guy in front of your door or you can let me in. You don't even have to talk to me. Just let me—"

She slammed the door in his face.

But he wouldn't go away. Of course, he wouldn't. He was Jacob effing Black and he wouldn't stop until he had ruined her life. Leah leaned against the fragile door, pressing her back to it, absorbing the shocks as Jake pounded away on the other side. The neighbors would start complaining soon. It didn't mean she wanted to see him.

Leah wrenched open the door and Jacob almost put his fist through her face. There wasn't even an inch between his hand and her nose when he stopped, but Leah didn't flinch. He always had good reflexes.

She left him there and went back to picking up her junk so she could get the hell out of here as soon as possible.

"What are you doing?" Jacob demanded, coming around, grabbing her wrist.

The physical contact almost made Leah puke. And cry. So she slapped him, like she was the dumb bimbo at the club whose feelings had been hurt because he hadn't called her the next day like everyone knew he wouldn't.

"Let go."

"What are you doing?"

"Of all people," Leah snarled, "You should recognize running away when you see it."

He let go of her then, flinching in a way he hadn't when she slapped him. Truth hurts, baby, she wanted to crow, but she wasn't talking to him. All Leah did was grab more shit.

"I'm here, aren't I?" he said. Like that meant something.

Dog or not, she did have a smidge of curiosity.

"How'd you find me?"

"Seth said you had taken off. He's about this close to flipping out. I..." he glanced at her tentatively, so she tried to make her expression even more unwelcoming, if such a thing were possible. "I knew you would come here. So here I am."

When she looked down at the magazines and decorations in her hands, Leah realized she didn't want to keep any of it. She simply tossed it all on the floor and spun around towards the bedroom. "And now you can leave."

"Leah," he called, climbing right over her couch so he could grab her arm before she could get through the bedroom doorway. "Shit, Leah, give me a break. Talk—"

"No. No breaks. You took off, so you don't get to talk to me anymore. So. Fuck. Off."

She screamed the last bit—it wasn't intentional, but she still did it. How did he always make her lose control?

"I just needed a second, okay? One second away from all your thoughts telling me how I never wanted you in the first place, how we were going to be fuck buddies until one of us died. I needed a second to get you out of my head so I could recognize just how wrong you are."

It wasn't enough that he had ruined her life. He had to call her stupid, too.

"I'm wrong? You sure about that, Jake? You absolutely, positively, fucking sure that I'm wrong?" She couldn't remember the last time she had screamed like this. It felt good. "I'm wrong? Let's talk about Nessie."

And there was that smile, even now. She wanted it to make her furious, make her so angry red swam before her eyes. Her vision was swimming all right, but it wasn't from rage.

She slammed the bedroom door so he wouldn't see the stupid tears.

"Shit, Leah!"

Leah hadn't seen his hand there. Honest and truly—though she was more pissed than sorry his hand had been in the way. The door never had a chance, to flimsy to withstand werewolf muscle.

What was left of the door swung back at her, almost catching her in the face. She would have started screaming again, but Jacob was standing there, clutching his hand, and he looked so livid she didn't dare. A tiny voice in her head (the one that had come with the werewolf package) was reminding her that Jacob was in charge. That Jacob was bigger than her. That Jacob was stronger than her. That her Alpha looked really, really, _really_ pissed right that second.

"What the hell is your problem? Can't you just break up with me like a normal person?"

"No," she snapped. Her fear subsided when her un-wolf brain remembered Jacob Black didn't go around hitting girls, even if they had tried to (accidentally) break every bone in his hand. "Because in case you forgot, I'm a wolf now. Because _you_ needed a wolf girl to bang!"

"Like I would have picked you," he snarled.

It hurt, even more so because she wasn't sure she was hurting him in return. If she was three seconds away from becoming a hysterical cliché, he better well be too.

"In case you missed it, _kid,_ we broke up long before you stuck your damn hand where it was no longer welcome. You left—and you're still in love with her. So get the fuck out of my house!"

And with that, she started whipping whatever she could get her hands on at him. Old magazines, broken knick-knacks, all the useless crap she hadn't wanted—right now it was good ammunition. It was also working; Jacob was backing out of the room, taking refuge on the other side of the couch.

"Leah—ow!—Could you just—ow!—Can you—ow!—Listen—ow!—Oh, for fuck—ow!—Leah!"

And with that he jumped right over the couch, so close to her she dropped the bowl she had just picked up in her shock. Before she could do more than open her mouth to curse, he had grabbed her wrists, pulled her arms above her head, and pinned her to the door. Her head bounced a little against the wall.

"Let go," she ordered, but he didn't listen. He knew her well enough that he stopped her leg from kicking him between _his_ legs. To prevent any more attacks, he pressed his body right against hers, using his superior weight to hold her in place. To keep her trapped.

"Just listen," he hissed. His hands were so big they held both her wrists and he used his other (slightly damaged) hand to force her face up to look at his. "Okay, Leah? Just listen to me for a goddamn minute."

"Sixty, fifty-nine..."

He growled, then ignored her and just started talking: "I know I fucked up, okay? I know I shouldn't have taken off like that. I'm sorry about that—you'd know how sorry if you would just look at me instead of throwing stuff. And I'm sorry that I love her. I can't help that, Leah. I never could. I'm sorry about all that. But I'm not sorry I came here."

It wasn't his hand making her to watch him anymore. It was the force of his gaze, burning through her, leaving her feeling all happy and floaty like it usually did. How did he do that, even now that she was desperate for him to leave?

"I don't care how many times you break my hand, or shout at me, or any of that. I don't even care whether the imprint fairy picked you to have my kids. All I—"

"Imprint fairy? How did you hear about the imprint fairy?"

He frowned at the interruption and then, stranger still, blushed. "Something I picked up from Seth's head. I didn't get it all, frankly, but it got stuck. Even if it is lame."

"Embry came up with it. What can you expect?"

Jacob chuckled, and from the way she was stuck between him and the wall, she could feel it all the way down her body, causing liquid fire to spread through her veins. How she hated fate for making her feel this way.

"I don't even care you are such a bitch to my friends," he said. "I love you, Leah Clearwater—I just needed a minute by myself, since you're not the most positive of people. And if you thought I broke up with you, you're crazy, because I'm never going to do that."

"Of course you love me," she choked. "We have to—"

"No, we don't," he interrupted. "We don't have to do anything we don't want to. I never do."

She had to agree that was certainly true. There had been many an annoying experience that proved to her Jacob did exactly what he wanted, no matter how stupid it was. And it was always guaranteed to be stupid where Jacob was concerned. He continued:

"You said you wanted to talk about Nessie—let's talk about Nessie. I love her, Leah. I'm not going to pretend I don't; I couldn't. I think she's the greatest kid to ever live. But the way I feel about her is nothing to the way I feel about you. I need to know she's okay, I need to know she's happy...but you, Leah, you, are the one I have to be with. When I'm with her I'm perfectly happy, but when I'm with you...I'm me. And if you think I'd ever pick her over you than you've never picked up on how self-centered I am."

Something deep inside Leah had turned into a pile of goo, making her laugh and cry and want to hold him all at the same time. Unfortunately, it very, very, _very_ deep inside. "You're a lot of unfortunate things, Jake, but selfish was never one of them."

His hand came up to caress her cheek and her eyelashes fluttered closed at the familiar feel of him. She had gotten so used to this in the last couple of weeks, the feel of him hot and strong beside her. Still, it didn't mean he was right.

"You're just saying that because she's still a kid and you haven't passed along the genes yet."

"Not true. If you really think that we just won't have kids, then. That way I'll be chasing after you for eternity and Nessie won't ever matter."

"You're an idiot. All that stuff I once blamed her for, all that locking you up, taking you away, making you bow down before her...that's me too now. You think you're more you when you're with me? That's just because you're an idiot, Jake. You're only wherever the imprint fairly wants you to be."

"That really what you think?"

He sounded almost as miserable as she felt, which was quite a feat seeing as Leah was seconds away from crying like the little girl the pack always teased her about being. As usual, she had to explain everything to him. He was always far too slow for her own good. Hadn't she made a career out of being smarter than him, once upon a time? It seemed like such a long time ago...

"It is what it is, Jacob. Whatever was between us, it was just another side effect of being the Protectors of La Push." At least irony hadn't left her yet; where ever she ended up, at least she wouldn't be alone. "So go home. Call Bella. Have your happily ever after with someone else. I don't want it."

He stared at her for a long while, dark eyes studying her face, searching for something, anything to give him hope. She couldn't give him that. This was it. This was all she had to give him—the truth, plain and simple and brutally painful. He realized it too, sooner than she thought he would, for it was only a couple of long seconds later that he pulled away from her.

"Fine."

Jacob turned away, leaving her slumped against the wall. But of course he wouldn't let it be that easy. He had to turn around and snap:

"Just for the record, you're the one who dumped me."

"Consider it noted, sir."

He took another step backwards, and then changed his mind. "And another thing," he said, even louder than before, "You were right. Martyrs aren't really that attractive."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Leah didn't need the wall to hold her up anymore. She didn't even need to hide the tears. She stood up to her full height—she was _pissed._

"I have a type," he said, nonchalantly, not seeming to care how she was three seconds away from ripping his head off. "I can't seem to stay away from girls who get off on making themselves suffer for the good of others."

"I think you're confusing me with cold, dead and married, Jake."

"Oh, please," There really did seem to be honest-to-goodness contempt in his voice. He was mocking her, but he was dead serious about it. "Don't act like you're anything but satisfied that we didn't last. You've been waiting for us to break up since we got together."

"That's not—" It was a little bit true. But that didn't mean she was a martyr, it just meant she wasn't brain dead. Fooling around with an imprinted man was asking for trouble and she would have been a moron for not realizing it. Didn't mean she had liked knowing how stupid she was. "I don't get off on it."

"Sure you do. Why else would you just give up? You didn't even _try_, Leah"

"How dare you. Who was with the Cullens every day? Who was pouring over memories and lists—"

"And not expecting to find anything. _Embry_ was more hopeful than you. You let the vampires do all the research, you wouldn't even listen when I tried to talk about Nessie, you avoided telling anyone—you didn't even tell your mother, Leah. I was your dirty little secret and you kept me that way so you could gloat in private when everything went wrong and you supposedly got your heart broken."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

He didn't understand the fear, or the humiliation. He hadn't spent years being Sam's jilted, crazy, pathetic ex-girlfriend. Was it so wrong to want people to mind their own fucking business? Was it so wrong to be a little weary of getting your heart trampled on all over again? It didn't mean she hadn't wanted Jacob. It certainly didn't mean...

"I—" She forced out the words, in her fury. "I love you, you idiot. Excuse me for knowing it wouldn't end well."

"You didn't even try and fight, Leah."

"All you did—"

"I sent my imprint to the other side of the planet! I know you don't understand how painful that is, but let me reassure you, it hasn't been a picnic for me. And meanwhile you keep expecting me to leave. Well, you've won, Leah. Congratulations. I'm leaving. Goodbye."

Even now, now that he had given up, Jacob wasn't the type to go quietly. Giving up was just not something he did.

"I love you," he said, standing by the door. It was all over his face, so naked and true it hurt her to see. "Not the way I love Nessie—I've never met anyone as perfect as she is. And for that same reason, I could never be happy with her. She'd bore me. You...you drive me crazy, Leah. But I think we could have been happy, anyway."

And then he turned. He was finished. It was over. Done. He had slammed the lid of the coffin down—she should shout out something insulting, put some nails into it. The final word should have been her right. He started it, she should be the one to finish it. Had she already? Right that second, Leah wasn't sure.

What she was sure of was that Jacob really was leaving. It was easy to see, and she could always trust her werewolf senses. He was leaving and he wasn't coming back; she knew that in a different way. She knew that because she knew him, knew him so well it made her sick sometimes. He had the tenacity of a bulldog, but eventually...even Jacob Black stopped coming around.

"I hate—" Leah choked out, and he stopped. Frozen by her voice because the only person on the planet who took losing worse than she did was standing naked by her doorway. "I hate how you are always so goddamn sure of everything even when there is no earthly reason for you to be."

He didn't get it. She didn't either, but the words came out, anything to get him to stop moving towards that door.

"It used to make me fairly sick. It was like the way you took to phasing while the rest of us struggled. There you were, happily fighting on all fours like you'd been doing it your whole life, all big and overconfident. It used to drive me crazy."

"I didn't do it just to bug you."

"It probably would have annoyed me less that way." She took a deep breath, "I hate how you were always better at the wolf stuff, too. Like now. You hear I might just be part of the big wolf package and you don't even care. You just accept it and moved on."

"It's different than Nessie, Le—"

"Did I say you could talk?" she snapped and he fell silence, this tiny half-smirk on his face. "Stop that."

"Stop what?" he said in an innocent voice that wouldn't have even fooled Seth.

"I hate how you think you're better than everyone."

"I do not."

But his chest puffed out, just a little.

"And I hate how you never bother to dress up for me. I hate how you're never going to grow up. I hate how you leave your nails so long. I hate your stupid car. I really hate how you won't give up on it. I hate..."

Her voice trailed off as he took her hands in his. "What?"

"I hate how you have no idea of personal space."

"No, you don't," he said authoritatively.

"No, I don't," she agreed. "But I really meant it about the other stuff."

"Even the Rabbit?"

She bit her lip. A little lie couldn't hurt. "And the stuff about the Rabbit."

"I hate how you hate my car," he said, sticking out his tongue. Like the grown man he was. "And my friends. And everything I do. I hate how you don't feel bad about telling me all of that. I hate how you think the day is wasted if you haven't made someone cry. I hate how you want nicer things than I can give you. I hate how you won't admit to being scared of your mom—she's scary. It's okay to be scared of her."

"Oh, please. I am not—"

"You so are."

"Shut up."

"I really hate how you don't trust me."

"I...I really hate that, too."

"Pretty long lists we have, huh?"

"I wasn't even close to finished."

"Me neither." He leaned his forehead against hers. "I've always thought you were hot. You are. It's a fact—ask any of the guys. I would have slept with you for the good of the tribe, no matter what. But I fell in love with you because it was either that or throttle you in your sleep."

It should have pissed her off, but she let out a small chuckle, instead. She was laughing at him, even though she should be furious that he had broken her heart. She was laughing at him, because it really was love him or kill him.

"It's mutual," she admitted. "It helped you got kind of hot, after you became a werewolf."

"I was always smoking, what are you talking about?"

Now they were both laughing. Quietly, but surely. Somehow or another they always seemed to be laughing together.

"I love you," she confessed. Somehow, it was easy this time. Maybe because she had been told to, and maybe not. It didn't matter. It was true—as true as the fact she sometimes grew fangs. She didn't want to fight that, since fighting Jacob was an almost impossible feat. It was far too tempting just to be happy. "Even though you drive me crazy."

Mostly happy, most of the time, at least.

"The feeling's mutual, don't worry."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

All Leah did was punch him in the arm. He winced (or pretended to, since she hadn't hit him very hard) then complained. "Ow."

"Serves you right."

He recaptured both her hands. It was time for him to be more serious than she had ever seen him.

"I know it won't be easy, but do you think we could keep trying? We might even have fate on our side, now."

"I hope not. I wouldn't know what to do if something in my life was easy." This time she did press her lips against his. "Yeah. I guess we could."

"Good," he murmured, leaning up to kiss her again. They kept this one short, too. "You got any food? I'm starving."

It was only because Leah had already thrown most of her belongings at him, that she refrained from hitting Jacob now. "I'll go check. But I get half. After all that moping you made me do today, I think I deserve some."

"Oh please. Hey, you got anything I can wear?"

Leah tried not to blush. It had been his own fault, after all. "Try the trash. Your clothes are in there."

"Thanks, Leah." And under his breath, he muttered, "Bitch."

"I heard that. Just for that, I'm getting the last freezie."

"Aw, Leah, come on. I only meant—"

She threw the freezie at him, to shut him up. He caught the frozen desert easily enough and peeled off the wrapping even faster, to shove the treat in his mouth. "You're the best," he said. At least, that's what she assumed he said. It was hard to tell with the freezie in the way.

Still chewing, Jacob set about rescuing his jeans from the garbage. They had gotten a few new stains on them, but they were still wearable. He looked good in them, even if he didn't even pretend to look for a shirt.

As dressed as he was ever going to be, Jacob came over and took her hand. "Come on," he beckoned. "I'm tired. I spent the better part of today running after you, than running away from you, then running after you again, then fighting with you...my feet are sore."

"It's your own damn fault," Leah scolded, as she reluctantly let him pull her into the bedroom. Concentrating on the bags of chips in her other hand, she tried not to think about the call of her uterus—even if she privately decided to castrate Jake if he asked her to have sex.

Jacob just shrugged and flopped onto the bed. "That feels good. Come here."

"Where am I supposed to go?" she whined. "You've taken over the whole mattress."

"Do you have to make everything more complicated?"

He pulled her right down, right across his chest. "Yes," she said, smacking him in the arm. "And you don't have to turn everything into a wrestling match."

"I like winning," he shrugged.

Leah made herself more comfortable, curling up beside him tighter, laying one leg over his. Her fingers began stroking the soft skin that lay over his hard bicep. It almost felt like before. Except the feeling of dread had fled. Just like she had expected, everything had blown up in her face—and he was still here. Jacob Black was such a freak.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you," he said, tangling his fingers in her. "I know you don't share...but think of Nessie as my sister that I worry about constantly."

"You don't worry about your actual sisters."

"Yes, well, they're stupid. And Nessie's real little."

"What happens when she's not?" If she didn't love him so much, Leah would have hated Jacob for how pathetically scared she sounded just then.

"She'll be the big sister I worry about. I'm really sorry I can't stop loving her. I...I love both of you so much it makes me kind of crazy. But you're the one I'm going to stay with. Okay?"

He studied her carefully—she let him. Was it enough that he would stay with her, even though he loved both of them? Leah almost laughed. It was a new feeling for her, being the winner in a love triangle, even if her competition was only two. Jacob wanted to stay with her. He would stay with her. She might have a hard time trusting him, but she trusted what she knew about him. Facts were facts. Not even an imprinting fairy could out stubborn Jacob Black.

"Okay."

"Good. So I'll love you until you kill me. Sounds like fun."

She laughed, teased him back. It was such a natural response, such an easy repartee. Funny how being with him was so easy and being together with him was almost impossible. This time Leah really did laugh. That was three impossible things before breakfast, now. Wow, she was impressive, she thought as she drifted off against Jacob's chest. It was a nice place to fall asleep. The best place in the world, as a matter of fact...

She woke up to the sound of Embry's voice.

Couldn't somebody muzzle that boy?

"You two should come with cue cards," he was complaining. "So the rest of us can keep up with where your relationship is at."

"And now you woke her up," Jacob snapped. "Good one."

"I thought we taught him not to come into our room," Leah sighed.

"I don't learn."

"I told Jake you were clinically retarded."

"Multiple times," Jacob said cheerfully. Weren't teenage boys supposed to be physically unable to be morning people? Why was Jacob attempting to sit up? Just because they had company... "How'd you guys find us? Come on, Leah. Move your fat ass."

"Oh please. You can bounce quarters off my ass." But she got quickly up after that. If the pack had brought quarters with them, she would have quarter-sized bruises all over her rear in minutes.

"Sue said this would be a good place to start," Quil shrugged.

Embry whined, "You being here—and together, no less—totally took all the fun out of hunting you down. Just so you know. The two of you ruin everything."

Leah tiredly slapped him upside the head, before going back to stretching out her back. However romantic sleeping curled up beside Jacob sounded, it was playing havoc with her muscles. One of these days she was going to insist he buy them a bigger bed. They weren't normal-sized people, after all.

"Seth?" Jacob's voice cut through Leah's mentally calculations of her account balance. Her brother was standing behind Embry and Quil and the expression on his face made her stomach drop. "Are you okay?"

No, he clearly wasn't. His face was squished up, his shoulders were shaking...and were those tears in his eyes?

"You," her little brother choked out, "Are. All. So. Stupid!"

And then there was no denying it, though Seth was trying to pretend he wasn't—he was honest to goodness crying.

Leah always knew she wasn't the greatest of big sisters. Five years was a huge gap and Seth and her never had much in common until the whole fur coat experience. But they had gotten along and she had never minded her younger sibling the way her friends had minded theirs. So she should have known why he was trembling even though now was the time when he should have been happy that maybe everything was possibly about to be okay.

Maybe she did. Leah knew a lot about how hard it was to hold everything together when the world was going to hell, and she had always suspected that being nice about everything took a lot more effort than just snapping at Embry and Quil to stop being assholes.

And as she stood there, panicking, hating herself just a little bit for not realizing what it would do to Seth to think Jacob and her were leaving him (almost like Dad had, except they had a choice), Jacob stepped forward and without another word wrapped his arms around the younger boy.

Oh yeah. She was totally in love with Jake.

Unfortunate, but true, she thought as she, too, hugged Seth. Not the end of the world either, she admitted to herself, as Embry and Quil wrapped their arms around the three of them. Because he wouldn't leave her (he wasn't Sam, she reminded herself sternly). He might love the little demon spawn, but he loved her too, and she was the one he was with.

And as the four of them played a game of crush Seth, as Seth slowly regained control, Leah couldn't help smiling.

Maybe it was fated, maybe it wasn't. She didn't care.

Right that second, Leah Clearwater was happy.

It was scary as hell but...she could handle that.

...

TBC...


	14. Chapter 10: The Solution

...

Chapter 10: The Solution

...

Seth comes by bright and early one morning and he looks worse than terrible. He looks even worse than I did after the time me, Jake and Quil got wasted and jumped off the cliff and ended up spending the night lost in the forest only to find ourselves on Sue Clearwater's doorstep still quasi-drunk before she had finished getting her beauty sleep. It's not Seth's mom that's the problem today, though it's a long while before he's able to tell me the story. It's a long time before I can even get him to sit down.

He didn't sleep well, last night.

When he finally gets the whole thing off his chest, I understand why. Sleeping wouldn't be on the top of my priority list, either. Why he came to me, I'm not exactly sure, though I suppose I can work out one puzzle at a time.

The more immediate problem is what I'm going to do with the flood of information he's just given me.

My poor brain.

The pack meeting is my idea, but he agrees readily enough. Neither of us is very sure he can handle it, but we're going to try. Just because he looks even worse than I did the time my mother found out I was a werewolf all because she got herself knocked up by the wrong asshole, doesn't mean he can't handle it. The pack isn't the sort of group you want to face when looking like that, but we don't have many choices. They have to know.

What will happen afterwards...I think both of us already know. It's why Seth currently looks like a drowned puppy that just found out all dogs don't go to heaven.

It's not hard to call the pack together, because obviously neither one of us means the whole pack. Like anyone wants Paul around. Ever. And Sam would be a huge pain right now—no one on the planet likes the idea of tradition more. Besides, this doesn't have to do with the pack. This has to do with family.

One call to Jake's house and Leah agrees to hold the meeting there. Another call has Quil saying he'll be over there in ten.

"We could wait," I tell Seth, my hand on the doorknob. "Until...we could wait. Figure out if we're right."

"They have a right to know."

Maybe.

I still wish we didn't have to tell them.

When we get to Jacob's house, Quil and Jake are fighting over the donuts at the kitchen table. The familiarity hits me in the gut. It was supposed to be like that for always. That's what I thought immortal meant. Since the guys are busy, it's Leah who asks us, "What's eating you two?"

Jacob slips easily into Alpha mode. For now. "I guess the meeting is going to start. Let's sit down."

"Where's Billy?" I ask, as Seth takes the chair across from the couch, so the other three can face him.

"He's fishing. Embry?" Jacob's voice is quiet. "What's the bad news?"

"If I was right about the Imprint Fairy stuff, she's one fucked up bitch." I can't help the dark edge. "But...there's good news. Sit down."

He rolls his eyes at me, then almost crushes his girlfriend to death. She shrieks, all girly-like, then punches him, all Leah-like. They make the stupidest, goofiest eyes at each other and today it pisses me off because there are three other people in this room today and we would appreciate some damn consideration.

"Could you two not make out on top of me?" Quil asks from beside them on the sofa. A valid question, if I ever heard one.

"Can you see my tongue in his mouth?" Leah demands. "Because otherwise—"

"Let's just start the meeting," Jacob says, sitting up so he's between Leah and Quil. "Something's clearly up and I want to know what."

"Yeah, yeah," Leah complains, before curling up beside our Alpha. These past few weeks, since her last complete and utter mental breakdown, she's gotten far too okay with the PDA. They even got caught by Billy a couple of nights ago, which might be the reason the old man had been fishing for seven days straight. Jacob can do awkward like no one's business.

Not that Billy minds, not really. As long as Leah's not a vampire, Billy is cool with it. He even let them continue—just rolled himself down to the beach to get out of their way. Maybe that's where Jacob inherited the inappropriate from.

Because that boy can sure do inappropriate. Just ask Sue. Jacob and Leah announcing they were together to Sue and Charlie had been nothing short of priceless. Thankfully, the Police Chief is smart enough to keep any and all weapons locked up, because Jacob could put his foot in it like nobody's business. I really don't know how the pack survived that one.

We're tougher than even I think. I should get over myself.

I take up position behind Seth, because the kid could use someone nearby right about now, and try to remind myself that optimism is not a crime. I'm not very convincing.

"What's up, Embry?" Quil asks. I shake my head.

"Seth's got some news."

"And you told Embry first?" Sometimes, I forget Leah gets her feelings hurt all too easily. "Why would you do that?"

"You're not going to like it," Seth says, which is the truth. Leah has some ferocious mother bear instincts when it comes to her baby brother—and we're too much of a pack to enjoy anything if someone else is upset. She's definitely not going to like it, even if it's what she's been begging for the past little while.

"Try us," Jacob offers.

Seth sighs, looks at me. My nod is as encouraging as I can make it.

"So...last night..." he breaks off, scared again. "You're not—"

"You imprinted," Leah guesses. Her brother's face confirms it. "Oh, Seth."

The patronizing tone coupled with his nerves does not help. He snaps, a little, "She's perfect. There's nothing wrong with her, or at least, nothing she can help. You just...you're not going to like her."

He looks at me again, begging me to do something. Before there's time for me to act, the rest of them are picking up the slack. They don't even know what's going on, but they see he's hurting, and they want to help. If wild guesses might make it easier, then that's what they're going to do—they can't know there's nothing we can do anymore. The kid's already screwed.

"She's can't be uglier than Kim," Leah reassures him.

"Or dumber than Leah," Jacob pipes up. It gets a smile from Seth; Leah sticks out her tongue.

"Or stranger than Nessie," Quil reminds us. "Unless she's half insect."

"Shut up," Jacob snaps and there's the brief requisite pause during the meeting as Jacob throws his literal weight around to make his point. "Half-vampire isn't..."

We all laugh because while a mermaid-monkey combo might be weirder, half-vampire is the one that actually exists. Hopefully. Or not. I would totally love to meet a mermaid-monkey. That would be so freaking cool.

"It's not..." Seth sighs. "It's..."

"...I guess it's most like Nessie," I say.

The girl could be a sweetheart or the devil incarnate. It's not about her. The good of the pack is what matters.

"She's white?" Seth and I look to Leah, whose eyes have grown three sizes. "Shit. Mom is going to kill you."

Sue? Never. Sure, she hadn't let her children watch Disney movies because she thought _What Made the Red Man Red?_ was created as a personal insult but...I snort to myself. She would so kill him if he brought home a white girl.

"We can protect you," Quil offers.

Jacob adds: "We can talk to her. It's not like it was your choice and you're helping out the tribe. Plus, she's banging Charlie now so—"

The Clearwater siblings find projectiles and shut him up. Considering we were seconds away from having Charlie be Jacob's grandfather-in-law, he should be a little less eager to talk about the man's love life. Especially since he's fucking Jacob's girlfriend's mother. And I said Jacob and Leah were incestuous. I guess that's where they get it from.

"Shut up," Seth mutters. "It's not that. She's not white."

"She a member of the tribe then?" Jacob asks. Seth shakes his head. "Where'd you meet her?"

"In Forks, last night."

When he went to help Carlisle move the last of his things from the hospital. The rest of the pack doesn't remember. The vamps aren't really our concern anymore, since today they're gone. They should remember.

"Everyone in Forks is white. Red-necked, maybe, but not red."

"Or a tourist," Quil offers. "She black?"

"Yellow?"

"Brown?"

"Orange?" ("Tell me she's not a tanning bed fembot?" Leah pleads.)

"Green?"

"Purple!"

"Pink!" (Quil can't help but add, "Bet that would be hot.")

"Blue!"

I can't help it. Even though I know I should, I can't stop myself.

"Periwinkle!" ("You're so gay," Leah mutters.)

"Fuchsia!"

"Eggshell!"

"Honeysuckle!"

"Magenta!"

"Maroon!"

"Lavender!"

"Red."

The four of us turn to the sulking Seth. "You want a color, there's one. She's red."

We get back to business. Brush off the clothing, put on our serious faces, pretend we're mature before we look at Seth. It's his sister who talks, putting on a the concerned, soft sort of voice that I always forgets she has. It's my favorite part of her.

"Seth? Hey. Why do you sound so upset by that? She Canadian or something? You worried about travel visas? That she'll make you live in an igloo?" That doesn't get her a smile. She knows it's big, but she soldiers on. "Tell me when I'm getting closer, okay? Whatever it is, we can help. We can fix it, Seth."

"Why don't you just start telling us what tribe she's from?" Jacob offers when the kid says nothing. "Let us know a bit more about her."

"That's the problem," I say, even quieter. "She's not really from any tribe."

"Of course not," Leah says, rolling her eyes. "Kids these days."

A tiny smile threatens to appear, but I crush it back. Being the bearer of bad news should kill my sense of humor. "It's a fact, Leah. She doesn't have a tribe, nor is she what I would call a kid. She had a tribe once...when she was born in La Push. More than thirty freaking years ago."

"Is that legal?" Quil asks. He has a bit of a personal interest in May-December romances.

"No," Leah snaps, even though she actually has no idea, even as Jacob dismisses her concerns with a, "Who cares? He's close enough to eighteen."

"She better not be older than Mom," Leah mutters.

"Just shut up so Embry can get to the important part."

Sometimes I wish Jacob didn't know me so well. "Around the time Seth here was getting his first tooth, she got herself banished."

"What?"

"We still do that?" Jacob asks. Then he frowns because as rare as it is—especially since nowadays people try to bring in outside reinforcements when the Council tries to take away their American given right to gamble everywhere—he has heard talk. It just hasn't happened in a long time. Not in La Push. "Sue going to be pissed about bringing the old lady back in the fold?"

"No," Leah says, and Seth nods in agreement. There's a dawning look of horror on her face. She slowly asks, "Anyone who performed the whole banishment thing still around?"

"Old Quil," Seth says softly. "And Billy at least knows how to do it."

Quil frowns. "So we can get them to undo it? Is that why he imprinted on her? Bring her back home kind of thing?"

Guess all that muscle really has suffocated his brain.

"Fuck the imprint fairy," Jacob mutters.

I reply: "Good of the tribe."

"Bullshit," Leah spits. "That's not—"

"We haven't even gotten to the best part yet," I assure them, so they can look even sicker to their stomachs.

"I haven't gotten the first part," Quil pouts. Girl. "Why is this such a bad thing?"

I answer: "If a person, or, say, two people who were screwing with tradition were to be banished, they wouldn't be part of the tribe anymore. They wouldn't—" even I have a hard time saying it "—they probably wouldn't have any of the...questionable benefits that come with being Quileute."

"It's not a hint," Leah sighs. Somehow she's not quite as close to Jacob as she used to be. "It's a goddamn sledgehammer. She wants me to shut up or get out."

Jacob rolls his eyes, just like I thought he would. He promised, after all. And love makes you fucking stupid.

"Us," he corrects softly.

That's what I had been afraid of. The worst part is looking at everyone's face when they begin to suspect what Seth and I already know—here's the solution we've been waiting for. No more problems since there wouldn't be any more imprints. All we have to do is never see each other again.

Or they could just stop, which is not something Jacob or Leah have ever been very good at doing.

"So...you think that the Imprint Fairy got tired of the Jacob and Leah soap opera almost ruining the pack and made Seth imprint on this banished chick so we would take the hint?" Quil speculates. I nod. "Now we have the solution to Jacob having an imprint who isn't his girlfriend. All they have to do is get themselves kicked out of the tribe and they won't be werewolves anymore—and he won't have an imprint."

"Slow and steady really does win the race."

Quil flips me off, even as his own words sink in. "Maybe we're misinterpreting this," he suggests. I can't blame him for wanting to keep us together, even if I know it's futile. "Maybe this doesn't have to do with Jake and Leah at all. Maybe this chick is just perfect for Seth."

"Did you miss the part where she's twice his age? She's like the exact opposite of perfect," I announce.

"Shut up," the kid in question mutters. Even though he knows I'm right. No matter how much he loves her, how devoted we get to our imprints, even he can't ignore the giant huge honking flaw his imprint has.

"You know I'm right. Cruella de Vil would make more sense and she's a fucking cartoon._"_

"What's wrong with her?" Jacob asks.

"There's nothing wrong with her, just..."

"He met her at the hospital."

Leah figures it out first. "She's sick?"

Just like the whole situation.

"It starts with a 'c' and rhymes with cancer." And of course there's more, so I plunge on. "Stage IV. And a half, basically."

"That's bad," Quil surmises.

"You think?" Leah barks.

"Barring some sort of miracle," I inform them, "She's got a couple of months. Tops. She only came back to Forks because she was sure she was going to croak and she was feeling nostalgic."

Back and forth, they let out a stream of curses, mixing up the volume, alternating between furious and miserable. We didn't ask to protect the whole tribe—we accepted it, worked with it, kicked a whole lot of ass. Why the hell did it have to get harder all of a sudden?

"It's not fair," Leah declares. "It's not fucking fair. It doesn't even make fucking sense! She won't live long enough to give him anything and then that's just it? That's not fair. He's just a kid and didn't ask for it and he doesn't deserve..."

"We know, Leah," Jacob says to her hair, arms tight around her as she tries not to cry. "We know it's not fair. It's not supposed to be."

"It just makes sense," I say. She might kill me, but she needs to hear this and so I can look death in the face for a while. "The faster she dies off, the less attached he can get. The longer she lives the more he can't live without her. This way the Alpha won't be unable to function when his imprint dies."

"I'm still Alpha."

"You really going to stay that way for long?"

Quil asks, not me. I'm glad, because I'm tired of being the jerk all the time. And someone had to ask. We need to know.

"Leah..." He turns to her, pleading. "Don't take this the wrong way but—"

"You'd rather not give up your family, your home, your friends, your birth right etcetera etcetera all for me? Can't say I blame you for that one. No offense Jake, but even if you did want to...I don't think I could do the same. I can't—I just can't."

"Maybe the two of you should take some time to think it over," I suggest.

Not that I want them to leave (or get kicked out). Even if I would move up if the kid became Alpha—I may have been a bit whiny about getting demoted, but pack hierarchy means shit all if you don't have your best friend and whatever-the-hell-Leah-is with you. But somewhere between Seth telling me what happened and me realizing what it all meant, I understood.

They have to leave. Not that they'll admit it, but it's what they want, even if it's not the way they wanted it. They never wanted to stay in La Push and cut trees for a living.

If I thought it was an option, I'd leave La Push and go with them. Maybe I will, one day. If Marian and Mom were okay with it and we could convince Claire...it'll depend. But we have to wait and see. Jacob and Leah—they left years ago, when the vamps came. They just didn't want to admit it.

So I'll keep pushing. The people in this room are my family. I want them happy even if...no matter what. It's kind of pathetically simple, if you think about it.

"We can't go," Leah says, just as simply. "We belong here."

"Maybe we'll think of something else," Jacob shrugs.

I laugh at him. "There's only so much even a mystical being can do for us, Jake. This is what we've been looking for. Take it, don't take it, but don't expect to be able find another way."

I've never seen another werewolf look as uncomfortable in his own skin as Jacob looks right now. They'll take their time and maybe they will decide to stay with us thinking that maybe sharing is something that they can do after all, or maybe they'll just implode and we'll spend years pretending it's all okay or maybe they'll go away and never come back. I don't know. I can only read their minds—I can't see the damn future.

"Talk to Old Quil."

The four of us turn to look at Seth. "Talk to him. See what he thinks, ask him why he never mentioned it before. Talk to Mom, talk to Billy. It'll suck for them too. Then take it. Get out."

It's painful, listening to him, not just because it's strange hearing orders coming from Seth. Someone shoved a knife into the kid yesterday and if we took a vote there's no one in the pack we'd say deserves it less. So it carries weight, his broken-hearted voice that tells them to leave and never come back.

"Seth..."

He lays it out for them in the way I wanted to, but don't have the guts to do. I only like to pretend to be a masochist, the same way I like to pretend to be brave.

"It's what you always wanted, Leah. You wanted to leave and I call bullshit that you ever wanted to come back. So here's your chance. Mom might even forgive you for not coming home to visit this way."

"I would have come back."

"Not really." He gives her a tiny smile. "Wouldn't have stopped us from dropping by on all major holidays."

"I wouldn't have expected it to."

The kid turns to Jacob now. "You didn't ask to be in charge. You never wanted it. You've always hated the responsibility. Right now Sam's too distracted to mind what happens, as long as it's not too crazy. So you can leave behind all the tradition you never asked for in the first place."

"I'm not leaving you," Jacob says just as firmly.

"I'll kick your ass if you don't."

"Like you could."

They've got identical half-smiles on their faces. Seth's put on a lot of weight recently—when he was younger he looked like Jacob and I'm starting to think that he didn't stop like we just assumed he had. He's the echo, without the hard eyes—and that's what Quil and I are for. We'll help him. He's not Jacob, but he's still our brother, and we won't let him down.

Still doesn't mean he could take Jacob, but that's not really the point.

"If she's got—" Seth takes a deep breath, stops the sobs. Calm is the only way for a leader to be. "She's going to die. And it's going to suck. So it needs to be for something."

"You could go instead," Quil suggests. "We could get Grandpa down here stat and he could do it on you. That way you wouldn't care if the stupid chick lives or dies. You could—"

"Don't talk about my imprint that way," Seth warns him. He even manages a grin. "You really see me leaving here, Quil? This is my home."

"You don't need to be in La Push to be home, Seth," Leah says. It makes her laugh, and roll her eyes. "You always knew that one better than I did."

"And you always knew how to be alone. I...I like the voices in my head; I don't know what would happen to me if they stopped."

Jacob glances over at Leah and they do the Alpha/Beta thing that leaves me feeling like I should ask to leave the room. Bet they figure out the whole situation without a word, just staring into each other's eyes like lovesick teenagers. Oh wait.

It's a good thing Seth remembered the plot points (later on I'll kick myself for letting him down like that—I can do better). The two of them don't really belong here (Seth doesn't either, not really, but he's right when he says he's not scary independent like the two of them are, that he's not ready to head off on his own) and whatever tradition might demand, they never did. We might need them, but they were never meant to stay.

"I wanted to leave," Leah confesses. "All along, except nobody loses control like I do and...leaving sounded a lot cooler when we didn't call it banishment."

Jacob studies her for a long while, the way she's curled up against him and still somehow looking stronger than anyone we've ever known. He gives her the look, the one I've come to hate over the years, because it's about impossible to pretend it's just admiration on his face and not something horrifically schmoopy.

Whatever he needed from her, he gets because he then turns to look at Seth. It's easy enough to read the kid—he's holding it together by a thread. But tradition says it means something, tradition says it's worth it, and he's going to cling to that until he collapses. The kid sits up straighter in his chair.

Jacob winks at me, then turns to Quil. My two best friends grin at each other.

Quil even laughs. "You always were shitty at following rules."

"Damn straight," Jacob agrees. "What do you say, Leah?"

"You're fucking nuts."

"But devilishly attractive, right?"

She throws her head back and laughs. "Whatever you want to believe, boy."

"You can't—" I don't even know what I'm objecting too, only that I know someone has to object. Jacob and Leah look far too pleased with themselves and I've seen firsthand how that doesn't end well for anyone. Especially me. "Your plan is stupid."

"You don't even know what it is," Jacob laughs.

"If it's your plan, it's stupid," Leah says quite cheerfully.

"Shut up."

"You can make me later."

"You two are so gross," Seth whines.

Now that might just be the understatement of the year.

I finally get it. So I have to protest. "You can't cheat ancient customs."

"Why not?" he asks. Never have I wanted to strangle Jacob more.

"Because you just can't!"

"You mean you won't come visit me in Seattle?"

I want to say no, because it defeats the entire point and if we're blatantly cheating like this then it might not work. And more than that, I want to say no to wipe that shit-eating grin off of his face. But...I can't. It would be a lie. Seattle is a lot closer than the ends of the earth, and only there would I stop following Jacob.

"Fuck you."

Leah leans back into the couch. "I don't remember agreeing to move to Seattle."

"You really want to stay to Forks?"

"That would be too close." She rolls her eyes. "I'm just glad you asked me where I wanted to go."

"It's part of my charm."

They stop acting like children for three whole seconds to look around at the rest of us. It's nice to see that everyone's finally decided to take the immanent destruction of everything we've come to rely on in the past two years seriously. Of course, now I wish they'd start back up with the stupid jokes, but I weird like that.

"So..." Jacob says. "Everyone okay if we just...talk to Old Quil and Billy? See what they say about it? Because..."

If anyone said they felt slightly uncomfortable with it, we would all forget this conversation took place and the word banishment would never cross our lips again. That's the rule.

"They aren't going to like it," Quil shrugs. He's already thinking about how to make them accept it, anyway. "Defeats part of the purpose if you're asking for it. And you aren't dangerous to the tribe."

"He's a vampire magnet," Leah says. "Of course he's dangerous."

Jacob looks like he's going to smother her and then he laughs, throwing a pillow at her. She blocks it and it ends up ricocheting off of Quil's face. My best friend snaps, "hey!" and then he's diving at her, and she squeals and somehow Seth has risen off of the couch and is trying to save his sister from the barrage of pillows being thrown at her.

It was always hard for me, I'm not going to lie. My instinct is always to remember death and decay and disease and all those other crappy things that ruin lives (the way I ruined my mother's). It's hard for me to remember about hope.

Fortunately, I have my family to remind me.

It might sort of suck, but in the end...things will work out. Seth will get over his imprint with the help of good friends. Quil will manage to interact with Claire without committing a felony. Jacob and Leah will survive and thrive, with or without the deep roots they have now. And I won't be forgotten by any of them. They don't have to promise me that. I already know.

They didn't have to. They aren't bound to me by blood or tradition. The whole plan is to make sure they aren't bound in any way at all. But somehow...that doesn't worry me. It doesn't worry me at all.

When I need them, they'll be there. Simple as that.

So I dive into the battle, because watching my friends eat feathers is too hilarious not to enjoy.


	15. Chapter 11: The Verdict

A/N: So, can you say epic fail? I sure can. I know this has taken me forever, and I'm a bad, bad, bad fanfic author, but it's all done now. I've written the last two chapters, I've written the epilogue, I promise to post all three in the next two weeks, starting with this one. I can only say I'm sorry and I hope you find something in the next three sections that make it up to you, if only a little bit.

...

Chapter 11: The Verdict

...

Considering the guy might just be the father who conveniently ignored me my whole damn life, I feel pretty bad for Billy Black right about now.

He's just sitting there (and I groan to myself, because now is not the time for lame puns) across from Jacob and Leah, looking about as miserable and trapped as a man can look. Like a wild animal in a cage, so scared that mobility isn't an option—nothing's an option because if you move you might just give yourself a heart attack. Billy's expression is exactly like that. No wonder I feel sorry for him.

And Billy's not even our biggest problem right now.

"No."

Everyone knows you don't argue with Sue Clearwater. It's like Quileute law, or something.

"Mom..."

That's the best Leah can come up with, even though we're talking about the rest of her life (and her sanity), because Leah might be a werewolf, but everyone knows that Sue is a fucking beast and she will tear you to shreds before you have time to blink.

We expected her to refuse. We're asking her to allow her daughter to be banished—to leave and never come back. Sue doesn't handle ultimatums gracefully. Especially after we've told her that her baby boy has rearranged his universe around someone older than her, someone who won't make it until the summer. The 'no' might just be her way of denying the entire situation, like maybe it will somehow undo itself if she just rejects it long enough.

Not even Sue Clearwater has that power.

Billy and Old Quil haven't said a word, which gives me hope. If they agreed with Sue, they would have hurried to speak up. That they haven't means they're holding their tongues so she doesn't rip them out.

"No, Leah," Sue repeats. "We are not kicking you out of the tribe so you can run off with...with—"

"Her boyfriend," I add, helpfully. Sue left her shotgun at home, but she stills scares the shit out of our Alpha, and I can't help myself. It's funny.

Indeed, the look she's giving Jacob right now would probably repel vampires. He's definitely on her shit list. So Leah interferes.

"We're not asking you to kick us out," she says. "Yet," Quil mutters, but only us werewolves can hear. Leah continues: "We just wanted to know what you thought of the situation."

"I'm thinking your Mom is against the idea."

"You bet I am, Jacob," Sue snaps. "Just because you're too much of a damn coward to accept that your responsibilities are here, it doesn't mean I'm going let you shove them off on my son! After dragging my daughter who knows where!"

"Sue," Billy mutters, but a glare silences him. The coward remark makes Jacob start to shake, but Sue hasn't noticed, and Leah's got her nails digging into his arms. Even if they are now official, she'll dump him so fast if he phases on her mom. The Clearwater women have always stuck together.

"I'm not getting dragged anywhere," Leah says quietly. It doesn't help.

"Then you need to grow up, too. Cheating tradition? It doesn't work that way."

"Mom," Seth tries, seeing as his sister hasn't been able to get Sue to listen in the hour we've been here, "I didn't imprint for no reason. I imprinted to help the tribe, to help Jacob."

"Stop imprinting then!"

"It doesn't work that way," he says, losing just a bit of his cool at not being able to jump through his mother's hoops as usual.

"What do you think?" she demands of Old Quil, turning around so she's snarling at the other elders and not us for the first time this meeting. Why did I agree to come with Jacob and Leah? No amount of love and loyalty is worth being near Sue when she's like this. She could probably take on all five of us.

Old Quil is almost a billion years old and the rest of the council usual follows his lead when it comes to traditional matters. Since he's been around since the beginning of time (to hear him tell it), he must have firsthand knowledge of what we're supposed to do. Still, even he doesn't like crossing Sue. It's only reluctantly he gives his opinion.

"I think they have a point, Sue. If we kicked them out of the tribe, they'd stop phasing—and they'd be happier."

"Of course they'd be happier. It's easy to be happy when you're being selfish."

"Mom!"

Maybe Jacob would have held his tongue if Leah hadn't sounded so hurt. Maybe. Maybe not. My best friend isn't exactly known for just standing around and doing nothing, even when he should.

"That's not fair," he says in a quiet, commanding voice that everyone has to obey. He's the Alpha, after all. Even if the elders aren't pack, they instinctively react to the obvious power in his voice. "We don't want to leave."

"So don't."

"And Seth imprinted for nothing, and Leah's going to spend the rest of forever convinced I'm going to leave her?"

"You're not going to leave me," Leah whispers, so only we can hear, and he relaxes a fraction, just enough so she's sure he won't kill her mother. But I don't think that's why she said it. Something about her has changed recently; it's taken me a while to figure out. She's not burning anymore, there's no desperation in her movements. In the chaos that is our lives, Leah found her center.

It's kind of beautiful (yeah, yeah, I'm a sap).

Sue faces Jacob down, towering above him as he sits on Old Quil's couch. She hasn't sat down since she got here and she uses it to her advantage. She's not a tall woman—I towered over her before I even phased—but she looks statuesque as she stares down the leader of the Quileute Pack.

"My children are stronger than that," she declares. "Don't you dare use them as an excuse."

"Sue's right about one thing," Billy says, interrupting, finally. He's stopped looking like he's having nightmares with his eyes wide open. Sue's finished, anyway, sitting down at last. "Cheating won't work. The banishment won't take if you don't take it seriously, or if others in the tribe know they will see you again. You wouldn't be able to sneak back on weekends, or have us sneak off to meet you. Otherwise, it won't be true banishment."

Otherwise, it won't work.

I expected something like this, and for all their bravado, I think Jacob and Leah did too. Their faces don't fall so much as look resigned. We can break reality, but we can't break tradition.

"Thank you for telling us," Jacob says, staring at his father. The old man nods. "We need to talk about this some more, but we'll tell you soon what we decide."

That's our cue to leave, so we all stand as one, ready to head out.

"Stay."

It's Billy who says it, because Sue doesn't look like she's able to speak at all. She hasn't stopped glaring, but now there are tears in her eyes and someone really will die if they point it out. Her short hair still frames her face, the way it has since she cut it off in solidarity with her daughter. She won't beg, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to.

Billy begs for the both of them. He holds his son's eye, pleading in a quiet, dignified way. We know the only reason Jacob hasn't actually followed through with his numerous threats to destroy Paul for running his damn mouth all the time is that Billy told him not to, because Paul brought Rachel back to them. If he put up with Paul for Rachel's sake, what won't he put up with to keep Jacob with him?

I can't handle it, so I blurt out: "We gotta go."

Jacob nods, but he holds eye contact with his father until we're out of the room.

"That went about as shitty as we expected," Leah says as we head outside. Their hands are interlocked and I'm glad they have some sort of comfort because meeting the Elders was even worse than I expected and I'm the resident pessimist.

"What do we do now?" Quil asks the world at large.

Jacob answers. "Seth needs to get to school. You need to get to work. Embry needs to go stalk his girlfriend and Leah and I..."

They have to figure out what the hell they want for the rest of their lives. Soon. Now. Because limbo doesn't work for the rest of us and we're their responsibility.

"Good luck telling, Mom," Seth says, before he takes off. With the way he's running, he might even be on time. Quil and I stay where we are.

"Marian's in class."

"I have the day off."

Jacob and Leah look at each other, letting us know we were right. "Billy's going to stay with Old Quil for a while," Jacob says. "Sam invited us over. I don't know what he wants, but I don't want Seth to worry about it right now. He's got enough on his mind."

The rest of us don't argue, because it's true. The poor kid.

"Sam?" Quil repeats as we head out. Sarcasm fills his voice: "This morning is turning out to be a lot of fun."

"Hey, I'm the dark and sarcastic one," I complain. Only I get to be bitter and mean for no reason.

Leah snorts. "Please. Über-bitch here, remember?"

We spend the walk to Sam's house arguing over our dark and twisted credentials. Quil might be a monk in love with a four year old, and Leah might have a love life that makes Desdemona look lucky in love, but I have years of abandonment issues and I'm not above pulling them out when it's necessary. There's no way I'm going to let Leah think I'm more normal than she is.

When it's Jacob's turn I expect him to pull out his luck with women, or the civil war he almost started, or the baby he almost killed, but he just rolls his eyes.

"I put up with you guys. Of course I have deep seated emotional issues."

We concede this might be a four-way tie and allow sarcasm may be an all-purpose tool that any of us can use.

"Especially on Sam," Leah reminds us. It's less bitter ex-girlfriend and more annoyed old friend, and it sounds good on her. She even manages to add, "Unless he feeds us."

"Of course he'll feed us." Horror enters Quil's voice: "Right? He's got to feed us. I haven't eaten anything for an hour."

The Uley house comes into view eventually and Jacob opens the door without knocking because we're a pack again and that's how it works. It feels good.

"Hey Sam!" Jake calls. "Emily? You guys home?"

"Thanks for coming," Sam says, coming out of the kitchen. Quil's drooling already and I can't blame him, because the smell of Emily's freshly baked muffins is floating out of the other room. Maybe that's what I missed most about being in Sam's pack. We can't exactly ask Leah to cook for us without putting our lives in danger.

That's why Quil and I leave our leaders to talk to Sam as we rush into the kitchen.

"Try not to eat her, you pigs!" I can hear Leah shout after us. I would turn around and flip her off, but then Quil could beat me, and there's no guarantee he'd leave anything.

"Hey, Emily," we call together, as we descend around the plate she left on the table for us.

"Hi guys," she says. "It's good to see you again."

We can't answer with our mouths full, so we nod. Considering she's pregnant, she doesn't look fat yet. Maybe a little pudgy, but nothing too bad. As I'm looking at Emily, Quil elbows me in the stomach. I would protest, but he draws my attention to the table. Jared's sitting there, Paul beside him, Rachel Black beside him.

"Chew," Jacob reminds us as he comes into the room. Leah is behind him, but neither of them looks concerned at seeing our hosts (our integrators?). They just take a muffin each and sit down at the table, where we instinctively move to flank them. Even if we are one pack now, Jacob's still our main concern.

"What's this about, Sam?" he asks. "Guys? And why is my sister here?"

"She followed me," Paul mutters, pissed. Rachel just glares back and I wonder if the women on the rez have some sort of secret society where they practice together and give each other tips on how to glare, because Rachel's damn impressive at it. Not quite as good as the Clearwater women, but pretty damn good. Maybe that's why Jacob likes Leah—the glaring reminds him of home.

"You're talking about tribe business. The last time I checked," Rachel snarls there, for good measure, "I'm part of this tribe. I don't see why I have to stay home."

"What tribe business?" Jacob asks, even as Leah and Emily nod their agreement. Girls.

"We joined together to avoid confusion," Sam reminds us needlessly. "But now...it's a mess again. The younger guys are getting jumpy. It's not safe. So we need to know what you're going to do, Jacob. We're here to help you, if you need it, but we need to know."

"Last time I checked, my little brother outranks you now, Sam," Leah says. She can't help it. "So you might want to watch your tone."

Quil and I growl for good measure. It's Jacob who stops us.

"Guys, he was just pointing out the obvious. Chill."

We do. Doesn't mean we like it. You don't demand things from the Alpha.

"I didn't know how to approach you about this," Sam says, talking directly to Jacob. Leah doesn't like it, but we don't seem to have a choice. "I know we weren't your original pack, but we are your pack now."

"I didn't forget about you," Jacob promises.

"Yeah, right." We all ignore Paul. It's habit.

Sam does too, taking Jacob at his word. "Okay, then. If there's nothing you need, then I guess I'm done. You guys want breakfast? Emily's making the world's best pancakes."

He shares a look with his wife that makes me take back everything I ever said about Jacob and Leah being gross. But I'm not the only one staring at them.

"That's it?" Rachel asks. "Seriously? You guys might be done, but I'm sure as hell not."

"What is it?" Jacob asks his sister. "Please, tell me I get to hit Paul."

"Maybe. He's being dumber than usual lately. Our neighbor—"

"Is a fucking tool!" Takes one to know one. "He's always standing outside, drunk out of his mind and talking to his garbage. That he refuses to pick up."

"Paul keeps wanting to 'talk' to him. We all know that's not going to end well, so I have to keep stopping him from storming out of the house."

"Rachel," Leah warns her. There's only one female werewolf; if one of us gets pissed around a human, it's not safe for her. Emily's face is all the warning we should need.

"All I do is stand in the doorway—and forbid him to break any windows."

She always was the smart one. It must have skipped Jake or something. Good girl. Everyone knows that Paul's the most liable to lose his temper, so nothing in the world can get him near Rachel when he's upset. Wherever she is, he's not going to risk trying to go through her. Paul might be a jerk, but the world would have to be ending before he'd intentionally risk hurting Rachel.

"We'll take care of it," Leah promises.

"It's not like we can run the guy off," I remind everyone.

Jacob snorts. "We occasionally can solve our problems without violence."

"Name one time, Jake. Just one."

Quiet descends on the room for a long time. Quil offers, "We united the packs just fine."

"I'm not sure that counts," Sam says ruefully, "Considering I still have the scar."

"Sam, I'm really—"

"I know, Jake. It wasn't your fault."

We thought combining the packs was simply a matter of their side wishing to come over to ours. It was a little more complicated than that. When nothing happened, Leah suggested Sam would have to concede dominance—we thought she was just being a bitch, but after awhile, it was the only thing left to do.

It turned out, Jacob had to beat Sam in a fight. It wasn't an all out battle, but we're dangerous creatures. We can't help being a little rough, even when we're trying not to be.

"There's the time the European vamps came to town."

We all turn to Paul in surprise, making him growl.

"He does have the occasional thought," Rachel reassures us. "It's really cute."

Paul—jerkass Paul, Paul the impossible—blushes. Weird.

"That wasn't really us," Jacob admits. "That was the Cullens."

"Not that you would know, having run away and left us all to die," Leah reminds him. It's an old fight between them, one that's had the venom sucked out of it, but that she still brings up to needle him. He agreed to take Nessie and run—whether he would have gone through with it and left us there to fight without him (when he was the best fighter of us all) has always been a small point of contention between them.

"Good doggy," Paul jeers.

But Jacob doesn't look at him. He's staring at Leah, staring at her so intently I want to blush but I don't, because it's not that kind of stare. It's something else, even though it's still disconcerting.

"How is Seth doing?" Emily asks, trying to break the tension. It doesn't work. Jacob and Leah have entered their own little world, and it's left to Quil to explain.

"Not great."

Or should I say, it's left to me to explain.

"It's hard for him, but we're trying to help. She's...she's really glad to see him. The hospital staff are already in love with him, the way he keeps helping them out. It's helping to distract him."

Leah finally snaps out of it, looking away from Jacob, who doesn't stop looking at her. "If you guys want to help us, try and keep him busy the next little while. And could someone please get him to think about the future for five seconds?"

"Marian's already started," I promise.

"If they already like him at the hospital, why doesn't he think about becoming a RN like your Mom?" Emily suggests.

"We need him out of the hospital."

But Leah scowls at me. "It's an idea. As long as he isn't thinking his life stops once she..."

She can't complete the sentence. Not that she has to. We all know what she means. Why else is Sam hugging Emily, Jared texting Kim, Paul grabbing Rachel's wrist like it's going to disappear if he let's go? And there's this expression on Jake's face that I don't understand. He's not so much staring at Leah as he is staring at all of us.

"Are you almost done with the pancakes?" Jared asks Emily.

Now that breaks the tension. Fortunately, she is, because the reminder makes us all hungry. We dig in, because Emily really does make the best food in Washington. It's nice to be together like this, a pack without all the annoying punk kids, even if Paul has the maturity of a three year old. Sure, Jacob and Leah are talking so quietly the rest of us can't hear, but they've had a lot on their minds lately. We ignore it.

"One last thing," Jared says as we head to the door, happily stuffed. "Are you guys coming to the wedding or what?"

"I already said we could," Leah says, then realizes he's not talking to her. "Oh come on! Bad enough I have to babysit my brother and Jake, I have to take care of the two of you as well?"

"Do you tuck him in, too?" Paul asks. Rachel sighs.

Leah ignores him. "Dumb and dumberer are coming," she tells Jared. Quil and I would protest, but then we might have to remember when the wedding is all by ourselves. "Embry's bringing his girlfriend and Quil's just going to babysit any and all kids."

"Could you tell Kim that?"

Jacob casually puts his hand over Leah's mouth to stop her indignant rant. "I'll call Kim."

"Thanks." Now that we're a pack again, we can't say Sam's guys aren't trying. Jared actually tries to make peace with Leah. "She's in charge of the guests. I'm...she's shipping me to Port Angeles this weekend to pick out the cake."

"Careful," Sam warns. "Last time I was in Port Angeles, there was an old vamp trail."

"You want someone to go with?" Jacob offers.

"I'll be fine."

"Run a patrol or two when you're there," Leah says, getting out from under Jacob's hand. "If there's a leech around, we want to make sure it's the good kind."

"Yes, ma'am."

But there's some actual respect in his voice mixed in with the mocking, and I think that if I can feel sorry for some vampires, maybe Sam's pack can learn what I did—Leah's the best psycho bitch around.

The four of us head out cheerfully, planning to go over to Jacob's next. Being fed does wonders for our temperament. There is an impromptu contest over who can walk the whole way blindfolded, with Leah as judge because she refuses to participate. She's supposed to stop us when we're about to crash into something, but I walk into a tree and she cackles like a harpy. So I have to attack her, and Quil and Jacob are laughing too hard to stop me. We arrive at the Black house with an angry, upside-down Leah in my arms.

"Asshole," she mutters as I drop her on the ground.

"Tell me something I haven't heard before."

"You've got ugly eyebrows."

Well, it's certainly something I've never heard before. Not that it's true. A quick glance in the toaster shows that I'm right. I have great eyebrows.

"You are such a girl," she complains, sitting right down beside Jacob at the kitchen table. Quil has grabbed some snacks and I join them, even as I can't help brushing my eyebrows one last time.

"At least I don't spend thirty minutes deciding on what shoes to wear—when I can't wear shoes."

"Shut up," she says, sticking out her tongue. It's the best she can come up with, because she knows I'm right.

We chew in silence for a long moment after that, just enjoying each other's company. If there's a countdown going on, we're going to enjoy ourselves to the very last second. Quil breaks the silence first.

"I thought for sure Sue was going to hit you this morning, Jake."

We burst out laughing, because she would have if it wouldn't have broken her hand.

"Serves you right," Leah muttered.

"Hey!" Jacob says. "For the hundredth time, it's not like I planned for the condom to fall out."

"Who brings condoms to meet their girlfriend's mother?" I sigh. More importantly... "Who's stupid enough to bring condoms near Sue Clearwater?"

"Charlie." Quil can't help himself.

Leah kicks him under the table, even as Jake and I burst out laughing. No one in La Push ever got why she hooked up with Charlie Swan, but it doesn't mean it's not funny.

"You're all morons," she announces with finality.

It took her how many years to come up with that? I always knew Leah was slow.

But we can't keep up the jokes. Eventually the silence came back, and this time it wasn't nearly as comfortable.

Jacob asks Leah: "Never selfish, huh?"

"Never might be a little strong," but she smiles. "But not when it mattered. That's something I've always loved about you."

"Um, gross."

I agree with Quil, but they aren't listening to us. They just keep looking at each other, before deciding Leah should speak.

"How bad is she?"

"Who?"

"Seth's..." She can't even make herself say it. It's just us, so she knows I'm not going to spin the answer to make people relax. I'm going to tell her the absolute truth, and the truth always hurts.

"Bad. Really bad. She looked more like a skeleton than a human being."

After I went with him the first day and couldn't stop staring, he hasn't let the others come with him. Yet. They don't want to. They can't handle seeing the writing on the wall, not when they can get nightmares from the images in my mind. So they know what she looks like. That's not what they're asking.

I continue: "I asked around, like you told me to. It sounds like a few months is optimistic. She doesn't have long at all."

"We can't leave before we help him get through it," Leah announces to Jacob. He's not going to argue with her. Jacob loves his #1 fan almost as much as he loves the guy's sister. I should have known this would happen—they can't be happy unless they know Seth is okay. And he won't be okay when his soul mate croaks right after he found her.

"It might be better to just put him in charge, so he's got things to do to keep him busy," Quil suggests.

"He's not supposed to be in charge."

And that's when I know.

It's something in his voice, something so primal I can feel the wolf in me rejoicing in what it means even before my brain catches up. I'd blame it on the power of Sue Clearwater, but it's not true. The meeting this morning was to make sure we knew what our options were. When cheating stopped being an option, when it was became leave or stay, the option was clear. They weren't ever going to leave.

Jacob's tired of running away. He's good at it, but he's tired of it, too.

Jacob didn't listen to Sue, not because she's a different kind of wolf, but because he already agreed with her. It was his job, forever and always. And the Clearwater siblings are tough.

"Seth isn't going to like thinking it's for nothing," I remind them. I might want them to stay—I might be willing to cut off most body parts if I was told it would help—but I won't keep them here if they aren't completely sure it's for the best.

"It won't be for nothing," Leah says firmly. She looks at Jacob, smiles, makes me kind of sick because my tolerance for sap has not increased despite Marian's obsession with romantic comedies, and hands the conversation over to him.

"It reminded us to get our heads out of our asses. All this time we've been worried about Nessie, but the vampires aren't supposed to be our concern. The people here are. We're supposed to protect the tribe."

"Enough whining about our love life—"

"About time," I can't help but mutter, and Leah hits me for interrupting her, and for being a dick, and because she loves me.

"—we're going to start concentrating on what really matters. We start with Seth."

"One of us goes with him, all the time. Even if it's only so he doesn't have to come home from the hospital alone."

"Except for Paul," Leah reminds him.

"Except for Paul," Jacob agrees. "I'm going to talk to Carlisle, see if he can't give us a better idea of what to expect."

"You'll have to be careful," I say. "The vamps will rush over here the second they think Seth needs help."

I know they mean well, but they shouldn't disrupt their lives for us. We'll take care of Seth.

"I will," Jacob says. "Maybe Edward can come down at some point, though. Seth would like that, I think."

"I thought we weren't encouraging his mancrush," Quil says, because someone has to make the joke and I'm tired.

"Just this once won't hurt."

Jacob glances at me, surprised, but I don't offer much else. I'm never going to like vampires—I can't help it. They kill people; I refuse to be okay with that or think hating them for it makes me a bad person. But the Cullens are different. They might not notice how condescending they are, but they aren't killing people, just covering it up. And they love Seth. For my brother, I can put up with them.

"What about the two of you?" Quil asks.

"What about us?"

But there's no challenge in Leah's voice. She sounds almost amused.

"What happens when Nessie grows up?" I say.

"Then I have a really hot little sister," Jacob says. "Probably. Who knows, she might grow up ugly after all."

"You're going to pretend it's that simple?"

Their fingers are intertwined again, and it's impossible as always to tell them apart. He gives her half a smirk and her face lights up and she looks, in that moment, the way she used to look, when I fell in love with her when I was fifteen.

"Embry," Leah smiles, "I'm the fucking Alpha female. I'm going to make it that simple."

Jacob is stuck being the logical one, for once. "I'm always going to love Nessie, but it's...different. More sibling like and less..."

"Screw you in the forest?" I offer.

"That only happened once," Leah snaps.

Jacob doesn't bother correcting her, just continues. "If Seth doesn't want to jump his cougar of an imprint, then maybe it really isn't like that. And if Leah can accept that Nessie's my unofficial sibling, then...well, I'm never going to leave Leah, so there's nothing much more to discuss."

"The romance of it all sort of blows my mind."

"You want romantic, Embry?" I do not like that look on Leah's face. "Fine."

Leah's definition of romance is not the same as most people's. Flowers, candy—that's the kind of stuff I was thinking of, but clearly not what was on her mind. And she says guys are bad. You don't kiss your boyfriend like that unless you're thinking dirty thoughts. Thoughts I would give anything to hear.

"You two can leave any time," Jacob says when they break apart. "Or just stop watching."

Quil and I get up quickly, knowing when we're dismissed. I guess they deserve to celebrate, though I'm little worried the chair he's sitting on isn't going to hold up both of their weights. Not that it turns out to be a problem, because Quil and I don't get to leave.

"Hi boys," Billy says as he comes in, Sue pushing his chair. "What are you doing here?"

"They were just leaving," Jacob says. Leah's no longer on top of him, but they don't look not guilty enough for Sue's liking.

"You left your father," she snarls at Jacob, because Sue doesn't forget when she hates you. Both Jacob and Leah come over, so he can apologize, even though his father's the one who likes coming home from Quil's house unassisted, since it's all downhill.

"Sorry, Dad."

"It's..." Sue stops Billy cold. "Just don't do it again."

"Sure. Sheesh, old man. First it's stay, then it's stop. How many more orders am I going to have to follow to today?"

The elders go quiet.

"You're going to..." Billy doesn't even let himself get his hopes up, already shaking his head. But his son is nodding.

"Leah and I agreed banishment did not sound as cool as we initially thought. So we're going to stay."

"And start actually doing our jobs again. And just take it from there."

And she sounds okay with that, with the uncertainty of it all and I can't help smiling because they look happy together and I get to keep them. It may not be the perfect plan—sorry about ignoring you there, imprint fairy—but this works for us. Hell, if it made too much sense it would make our heads explode, so I'm all for having them just wing it as they go.

"Oh, and Sue?" Jacob can't keep his damn mouth shut. "Since I'm technically Chief, I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me a coward all of the time."

Leah punches him in the side, but all he does is wrap an arm around her shoulder. It didn't even look like he felt it, his shit-eating grin is so wide. But it falls away when Sue walks towards him.

And hugs him.

"We got to go," I say, following behind Quil as he races towards the door. "See you all later!"

And then we're outside and we can pretend we're normal again.

"That was weird."

We can hear laughter in the house behind us; all I can do is agree. And smile, because I like weird, and I really like the thought of us sticking together. If Leah thinks she can handle it, then I'm all for it.

But what do we do about Seth?


	16. Chapter 12: The Departed

...

Chapter 12: The Departed

...

Marian is still in her room when I come to pick her up and Aaron apologizes profusely. I tell him not to worry, but that doesn't stop him from apologizing one more time. People are overly sensitive about funerals—I explain to Aaron, yet again, that it isn't really a funeral. It's just a small get together to make sure Seth doesn't go crazy. An excuse to invite the Cullens over, if you will.

"It's not like I even knew her, really," I explain. Just because I hung around the hospital constantly the past month doesn't mean I was friends with her. Having too many people in the hospital room disturbed her, so I'd slip away as soon as I could. She was too thin, too frail—nothing like us at all.

Our immortality isn't something I think about, usually. It's just one of the weird perks I have to put up with in order to be a werewolf. But the last little while, I've found myself glad I'm not pure human. It's not the thought of being dead that freaks me out—it's the slow agonizing process of dying that's been giving me nightmares.

"It'll be okay," Aaron promises me. He even pats me on the shoulder, which makes me smile even though I don't really feel like doing that today.

Knowing my brother wants to die isn't something that makes me particularly happy.

"Sorry," Marian says hurrying down the stairs. Her eyes are a little red, but she looks gorgeous as usual, even if I wish she was wearing something other than black. "I could only find white socks and all I could think about was how it would be disrespectful, so I looked and looked and then I realized I was being dumb, because no one would care what my socks looked like, but—I took my mom's socks."

"Okay. Thanks for coming."

"Of course," she assures me. Her dad hands me a package of Kleenex as she grabs a light jacket. I thank him silently and then offer Marian my arm, which she clings to too tightly.

When we're sitting in my car, she sighs. "Poor Seth."

"Yeah."

"How's he doing?"

"Sometimes he's pretty bad. Just sort of sits there, in a funk, staring at nothing. He's been having bad nightmares since it happened." To prevent her from crying again, I add, "But sometimes he's okay. When he remembers how glad she was to have company, at the end. And how she thanked him, and how he made it easier for her. When he remembers that stuff, he's okay. Like he used to be—happy to help."

Okay might be stretching it, but it wasn't as bad as we had feared. We called our imprints our soul mates; most of us assumed Seth would be non-functional when she died. Sort of like a lump on the couch that would keep involuntarily reaching for a razor so he could slit his wrists. Seth might have been rather sluggish lately, but when Colin had overtaken him on the last patrol, he had kicked himself out of it long enough to beat the other wolf.

It would take a while for him to get over it—he might never truly get over it. But he was responsive and that's all we were asking for right now.

It helped that the pack was stable enough to support him. Jacob and Leah had committed to their latest plan with the full force of their collective pig-headedness. They were in charge, together, and that was that. Weirder still, it seemed to be working. It helped a little that while Seth loved his imprint, he had never...he loved her like he loved his mother (not quite, since Sue wouldn't have tolerated a rival, but in a similar way). It gave them hope that it didn't have to be sexual, and the two of them had always been rather insufferable when they had hope.

"He was so sweet to stay with her," Marian says. There's a tiny part of me that knows it would be too mean to hit the kid when his imprint just died, but the admiring tone in Marian's voice really grates.

"Yeah."

"And it's really sweet of you all to help him like this."

That's better.

"It's sweet of you to come."

"I don't know how much help I'll be. I hope it doesn't upset him, seeing us together."

We had thought about that. Would seeing so many imprints be a painful reminder of what he had just lost? Would it be rubbing it in his face? But Quil said it would be more obvious if we didn't have the girls there; their absence would scream that we were trying to coddle him. It went without saying that it wasn't smart to coddle Clearwaters. Leah had eventually decided that since Nessie was coming (from South America, since the Cullens weren't going to leave her behind), it would just look stupid not to invite the imprints Seth was closer with.

He'll probably be more excited to see Edward than Marian, but I didn't tell my imprint that. The past while had seen Marian help Seth whenever she could, but Edward came down from South America on and off, and kept in touch so much that I thought he was having separation anxiety.

Edward Cullen makes hating him really hard sometimes, but I have to try.

"I don't think much is going to upset him today except for the obvious."

A tiny hand slipped into mine. Considering she's only human, Marian has some pretty strong fingers on her. We don't say anything else on the way there. We don't need to, really. The clenched fingers say it all. We are lucky. And we'll be there for him.

Quil meets me as I pull up in front of the Black's house, bounding down Billy's ramp, timed so perfectly that when I open the door he's there the next second. He hugs me, and we draw strength from each other, because we know we have a daunting task today and for however long it takes him to be truly happy again.

"Anything interesting happen yet?" I ask, because with us, it's better to prepare for the worst.

"Brady got the stereo stuck on some country crap and Paul broke the cord trying to cut off the electricity. They're running a patrol now as punishment. But that's about it."

"That's pretty good."

"I know. And we've got Seth eating something."

What more could we ask for?

I take Marian's hand again and the three of us head to the back. There's no way all of us would fit inside Billy's house and we know better than to try. It's burgers and the backyard for us. The whole thing might have more of a picnic feel than a funeral, but that's what we're going for. Kid's already depressed enough as it is.

"You're late," Leah scolds as we approach. She's got a tray of something in her hand, and I can't help smiling.

"No wonder you're cranky. They already put you on waitress duty?"

"I can hit you with this tray," she warns me. "Now stop being a jerk and go say hi to my brother. He's the sobbing mess by Emily."

"You're concern is touching, Leah."

But her hand finds my free hand as she passes, and I give it a little squeeze, promising I'm going to help her brother as best I can. It earns me the first smile I've seen from Leah in days.

Seth is indeed beside Emily; we find him slicing up cucumbers v e r y s l o w l y, like it was rocket science and not a vegetable. At least, he's moving. He stops when he sees us.

"It's good to see you," Marian says, hugging him before the three of us can make this whole thing awkward. "How are you?"

Seth tentatively pats her on the head and looks at me, asking for help. I just shrug. "Okay?"

"Why are you cooking?" I ask.

"That is not cooking," Emily says, coming up behind him. "It wouldn't kill any of you to be helpful, either."

"Yes. Yes, it would," Quil says and I don't understand why the sincerity in his voice doesn't convince Emily, just makes her shake her head.

"Come on," I say. Marian stays on one side, while I take up position on the other. "We're springing you from jail."

"I volunteered to help."

"So?"

We find Jacob talking to Billy in the corner, still trying to convince him that having the vamps come today is a good idea. None of the Elders like it, even if Sue is completely okay with it for the simple fact it will make Seth happy. I'm just glad they listened to Jake on this, because it'll help. If it takes leeches on our land, than that's the price we pay.

"If it's that big a deal," Seth mutters as we interrupt. "We can..."

Billy's quick to respond: "It's not. There's a patrol bringing them in, there's a patrol bringing them out. This here is the safest place in the world. Nothing bad can happen."

"See? I knew he'd listen to me," Jacob crows, even though he's fully aware Billy's only pretending to be happy with it until Seth leaves. "Did you guys get some of those mini sandwiches Leah's carrying around? They're amazing."

"That's it," says his girlfriend, showing up out of nowhere and looking none too pleased with him. "You can serve the food. Because I quit."

"Aw, Leah, you were doing so good, too."

She shoves the empty tray at his chest, but he just catches her and laughs. She's growling, but leaning into him, and I'm annoyed that they chose today to act semi-healthy, when I'm distracted by Billy. The old man's leaned over, picked his son's hand off Leah's ass and moved it up to her back, as the five of us stare.

"Dad..." Jacob whines as Leah laughs in his face, trying to cover how she's bright red herself.

"I'm already traumatized today; I didn't need to see that," Seth sighs.

But it's the closest thing he's made to a joke in a week and so we all enjoy his suffering much more than we should.

"I'm going to leave you now," Billy announces.

"Like anyone wanted you here," Jacob calls after him, father and son equally mock upset with each other. There's a smile they share, as they split up, that I'm never not going to be jealous of, no matter how superior I find my makeshift family to anything Billy, Joshua or Quil could have given me. Still, it's not a stabbing pain. It's like a tiny pinch on my heart and then I have Marian in my arms, and my family around me, and it's not so bad.

Pinches never leave you black and blue. I think I'll do okay.

"Who are those people?" Quil asks, pointing to the women walking towards our gathering.

"They're from the hospital," Seth answers. "Who...? Embry? What did you do?"

It's not the guilty look on my face that gives me away, because I don't feel guilty. Maybe it was the smugness.

"I just spread the word around, that's all. They were all really interested in making sure you were okay." _Very_ interested.

"Tell me you are not trying to set my brother up at a funeral," Leah hisses at me, from between clenched teeth. Seth is still staring at me in horror.

I'm not sure what's safe to say, so I let Marian speak first. "It's technically not a funeral."

"I'm going to go back to cutting fruit," Seth says, wide eyes still on me.

I grab his arm, because I don't want him storming off before I can explain. "Hey, I didn't invite them for you to hook up with them. They were just worried so I said they should come make sure you were still alive for themselves."

"Plus, the blonde is really hot."

Thank you, Quil. Jacob nods, ever so slightly, so I know I've not going to be killed for this.

"I just recently had my universe collapse. You really think I'm ready to date?"

Dating wasn't really what I had in mind, but I smile. "Just go and thank them for coming. That's all you have to do, Seth."

He glares at me (his sister has been giving him tips, or else it's rubbing off and isn't that a scary thought) but he goes. Politeness has been far too ingrained in him, and again I wonder how he and Leah can possibly related. It might have something to do with how they both see through my bullshit in record time.

"Embry..." she growls. "What possessed you?"

"She's really easy. I thought...I wasn't really thinking so much as...yeah. I've got nothing."

"And how do you know she's really easy?" my girlfriend asks.

"Yeah, Embry? How do you know she's easy?"

If this is how Leah wants to make life miserable, she's doing a good job.

"Hey, I can't help overhearing things. Superhearing, remember?"

Marian doesn't look pleased with this answer and I spend the next twenty minutes trying to explain how some hospital rooms are not nearly as empty as they say. Leah drafts Jacob into helping her serve the food—he agrees so she'll kiss him thank you, but he sticks around a lot longer than I would. Quil goes to play with Clare. I try not to notice that while Seth is being only a fraction of his usually attentive self, the blonde is eating up. Why should she know the woman he's been helping the past month was the center of his universe?

And why should he not enjoy the attention she's giving him?

He truly never loved his imprint in the way that requires nakedness, or at least mood music. The one time she kissed him, it was on the forehead and there's nothing sexual about a goodbye/thank you kiss from a dying woman. The women at the hospital were convinced he was her son, until Sue set them straight—then they thought she was his aunt.

Being a teenager and looking like he's in his mid-twenties means that Seth's had to deal with his fair share of cougars, but his imprint didn't even flirt. She just smiled a loving smile and thanked him for being such a good companion. I think she died thinking he was some sort of hospital volunteer.

It might not have been exactly what the imprint fairy wanted from us, but that's the lesson we were taking from Seth's girl. Sure, she had been banished, but she also proved that it didn't have to be about sex. We were going to stay together as a pack and ignore the giant neon sign hint. We were good at being oblivious.

In the meantime, Jacob and Leah and even (especially) Quil were glad it didn't have to be about sex.

Marian agrees to a tiny reconciling peck, when I hear the low barking nearby. Brady. Which means one thing. The Cullens are here.

Sure enough, when I turn around, Sam and three of the younger kids are just arriving. They watched the Cullens as they traveled through our land for this one and only time. Sam hadn't even protested, just asked Jacob to up the guard. Jacob agreed and that was that.

"And I thought you all were good looking," Marian whispers next to me. I can't quite stop the growl. She better have just been saying that to get back at me. The Cullens weren't _that_ good looking.

Well, not all of them were that good looking.

Edward's leading the group of them, minus Jasper, through the crowd. The soldier didn't dare come since his wife couldn't see the future when we were around and we tended to cause a lot of bleeding, even though he sent his condolences. When Seth sees the Cullens his attention immediately moves away from the blonde, which is a shame, because she looks to be a sure thing. It doesn't matter, since Seth manages an actual smile at seeing the bloodsuckers. Freak.

Freakier? Even Rosalie—whose bitch credentials exceed even Leah's—gives Seth a hug. I expected it from all the others, but I hadn't expected that Blondie could look so concerned.

Not that I'm jealous of the way she pulls Seth tight against her perfect rack.

Meanwhile, Bella makes her way over to Jacob, to thank him for letting them come. It's our pleasure, Jacob says, even as he asks to take Nessie from her. Bella agrees, eager to be by her husband who seems to be staying by Seth, talking quietly as the young boy nods.

"Come on," I whisper to Marian, dragging her closer. I'm not afraid of anything, exactly, but I need to be in the middle of things, just in case. Quil has the same idea, as he meets me where we can watch Jacob, Nessie and Leah with one eye and Seth and the vampires in the other without appearing to do so. We let Marian and Claire keep up the conversation.

"Don't you look cute," Leah tries, though she lacks the faux-cheer that should have accompanied her comment. Jacob rolls his eyes, she looks defensive and then they try again.

"We love your stripped thing-y, Nessie."

"The shawl is very cute," Leah says. "Where did you get it?"

They nod together as Nessie shows them, one perfect little hand on either of their cheeks. The whole thing doesn't look like the train wreck I feared it would become. Cool. If I have to be wrong, now was the time.

"I think," Quil says, "We might just have a normal day for once."

"Don't jinx us," I snap, but I already have a sinking feeling that's it too late. Who am I kidding? We were jinxed the second we got out of bed this morning.

"Aw," Marian coos and I almost die laughing as Nessie sits, trying to instruct our two illustrious leaders on how to properly play whatever hand game she just learned, all without using her words. For a two year old (who looks just over six), she sure can concentrate. Her face, when Jacob still can't follow her gestures, is quite priceless.

"Five bucks says they never get it."

"You're on."

They give up in ten minutes and I have five extra dollars in my threadbare wallet. Life is good, sometimes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Leah freeze.

That's all it takes for them to have my full attention, and the attention of a lot more people around them than Leah's probably comfortable with. But she's important to the pack, so when she looks uncomfortable, we try and figure out why, so we can help. Since we can't help Seth, we're over eager to prove ourselves, today.

"What's going on?"

But Quil just shrugs. It takes Claire, of all people, to figure it out.

"Rock, paper, swissors," she crows, and I am so glad I didn't imprint on a child because who would want to listen to people mispronounce their words all the time?

And I still don't get it, not until Leah raises her hand and I see that it's shaking and I finally remember the last time Nessie talked about the stupid game, Jacob was the prize. I want to stalk over to them and remind Leah that's it's just a damn game, that it doesn't mean anything. Jacob's the only one who can decide who he's with and he's already picked her. Game over. At the same time, I instinctively move forward to stop her because I can't just stand there and watch her get hurt.

Something hits me in the back of the head and I have to stop and turn. The look Seth gives me makes me freeze. Emotional wreck or not, he's still the Beta. I stay where I am. I can't bear to turn around and watch.

"Suck it!"

I can't not look after that. Leah's standing, having jumped right off the grass to celebrate her triumph. Her hands are in the air, but she's already frozen, her embarrassment over what she's just done clearly evident—I've never seen her blush so hard in my life. Nessie, bless her sweet little heart, just stares up at Leah with a slightly puzzled expression, too polite to demand what the hell is wrong with Leah, though her young mind is probably quite interested in the answer.

And her confused frown just gets deeper when a soft chuckle carries across the quiet lawn.

It grows louder as we all turn around, and then Jacob joins Seth and somehow that makes it okay that Seth's laughing at our memorial to his dead imprint. He's not half hysterical; it's just that amusing.

Even Edward has a tiny smirk on his face as Seth fairly shakes beside him, holding his stomach, trying to stop the tears that have started to come. I haven't seen him laugh this hard in months and somehow it's like I've exhaled, finally, for the first time since I asked Leah to help me figure out who my father was.

Somehow, now, I can finally believe—really, truly, honestly believe—that everything's going to be okay.

Bella hands Seth a tissue and he dabs at his eyes. Emmett says something, and it makes him laugh even harder and suddenly I love the vampires, if only for the moment. Funny.

I even end up sitting on the grass beside them at some point during the day, after Marian leaves. Jacob and Leah are quietly arguing over the best way to teach Nessie how to punch as she stares up at them, still confused but trusting. It doesn't seem to concern her one jot that she now has Leah fawning over her as well as Jacob, she just follows the advice of whoever speaks last.

"We'll keep in touch," Edward promises Seth.

"You should come and visit," Bella adds, impulsively.

Esme reminds him, "After you've finished your schooling, of course."

"A graduation present," Rosalie says brightly.

"We have the perfect guest room for you," Alice says. "It would take me a minute to fix up, but then I'm sure you'll love it. Or would you prefer two rooms?"

Seth catches my eyes. "Thanks, guys. That's too cool of you. But I have to stay here I little while. Figure out what it is I want to do with...life, I guess." Because life doesn't just stop when your imprint does.

I smile, but to myself.

But when Edward speaks next, I can't help it if the smile bursts free.

"I think there's a nurse who's very...desirous to speak to you before she leaves," he says in his pinched, old fashioned voice. Can I pick them or what?

Seth hits me on the back of the head, but that just makes me laugh. He still gets up to get rid of the blonde; distraction accomplished. I don't care if he sleeps with her or not. I just want him talking to people who aren't us. Edward rolls his eyes at me, but he puts his fangs away, so I figure he gets it. We need to keep the boy occupied however we can. Blondes are an easy way to do it.

And the puns just keep coming.

"Five bucks says she helps heal him tonight."

"You're on," Quil says.

"Men are pigs," Leah sings as she comes over, sitting almost on my lap.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Can't I be happy to see my perverted friends?" she all but chirps.

"Not when they're me, no."

"Don't sell yourself short, Embry. You're okay for a perv."

"Touching, Leah."

"I try."

Her smile is brilliant when she's like this. When she's happy and carefree. Seth is going to be okay. Jacob's going to stay with her. She even has me. Her joy makes her beautiful and she wasn't too shabby to start with.

She laughs in my face, ruffling my hair gently, eyes soft. "She is kind of hot," she agrees. "Even if you shouldn't have invited her."

"Sex on legs," Quil says.

"You talking about me again?" Jacob asks as he comes over, Nessie sitting primly on his shoulders. Don't know how she manages that one. Weirdest kid out there.

"Come here, hot stuff," Leah says, rolling her eyes. He sits beside her, leaning forward so Nessie can stop off him. She does so unassisted, before walking over to Leah and sticking out her tiny hand. Leah looks at it strangely for a moment, then realizes it's just a peace offering, and takes the small white hand in her larger one and they shake. I'm sitting too close not to notice how Leah blushes. Then Nessie's offering her hand to all of us and it's not nearly as cold as I thought it would be.

We say goodbye to the vampires. Quil and Jared and some kids are leading them on the way back. I was supposed to go with them, but Seth wants to take my place and I give it up easily enough. I have to give Quil his five bucks back, but at least I've broke even. Bella and Jacob have their moment, and Jacob and Carlisle do the leader-to-leader thing, and then the Cullens are off and it's just me, Jacob and Leah lying on the grass.

"What was that about?" Jacob asks Leah, as she leans against him, playing with the grass beside him.

"What was what about?"

"What did Nessie show you?"

"None of your business."

That catches my interest. "It was that embarrassing, huh?"

She throws the grass at my face as Jacob and I laugh. "Screw you two," she mutters.

"That's what Seth already thinks you do."

That earns me a full body laugh.

"If you must know," she says, "Your darling imprint, my dear, wanted to make it very clear that she is far too mature and intelligent to be a flower girl. She practically insists on being the maid of honor."

Jacob's eyebrows go up. Way up. "Seriously?"

"Or she wanted to directions on how to runaway with the circus. I can't remember."

He looks at me, but I just shrug. After everything we've been through, he should be glad she no longer freaks at the idea of some sort of commitment.

"Cool."

"Not cool," Leah says. "No matter who you pick to be best man, they're going to have over two feet on her. It's going to throw off the whole look of the bridal party."

"Oh. Not cool," he agrees, begging me silently for help, while rolling his eyes.

"Hey, don't give me that look. Blame Embry for this."

"How is this my fault?" I demand as the three of us stand up.

She looks up at me and smiles one more time.

"If you'd never said anything, Jacob wouldn't have the opportunity to be with someone of my superior aesthetics."

I'm pretty sure there was a thank you in there.

Her arms are around me, then, hugging me tightly. So tightly, I almost can't breathe as she tucks herself under my chin, forcing my head up so I'm looking at my best friend look at the two of us, smile on his face that tells me how much it means to him, having the people he loves getting along.

Even I figure out that was definitely a thank you.


	17. Epilogue: The End

A/N: Thanks everyone who got me through to the end. Special thanks to those of you who kept reminding me I hadn't actually finished this one yet. My bad. And more special thanks to those who said a T-rating was inappropriate. You were right ;)

...

Epilogue: The End

...

"Did you see his face?" Leah asked.

Her voice was light and loving and Jacob didn't bother replying, too busy smiling at her obvious delight.

"He was so damn happy. I swear, he was about to cry." Leah collected herself. "What a girl."

Jacob laughed at her predictable response. Even today, Leah couldn't give Embry a break. Putting an arm around his shoulder, he brought her to him, kissing her on the temple.

"Be nice, Leah. Just once."

"You saying I'm not nice?"

There was a challenge in her voice, one he couldn't help respond to it, even if they had been at the hospital for the entirety of the twelve hour labor. Jacob wasn't sure how Marian survived all that, he knew he wouldn't have been able to, but she had and so he let himself push Leah against the Rabbit, let his lips find hers.

Nice girls wouldn't have responded so eagerly, he thought. They wouldn't have fought so violently, wouldn't have tugged at his hair so hard just to bring him closer, wouldn't have ground their hips against his so temptingly.

Jacob didn't exactly care that Leah wasn't always nice.

"We have to go tell the others," she said as he began marking her neck.

"That's what Seth's for," he reminded her between kisses. "Beta wolves go inform the pack that the family has a new addition. Alpha wolves, after spending a long hard day creating a beautiful legacy for Embry's son, get to relax. And fuck like crazy."

"Jake," she growled and he felt his blood run south. Her breath was shaky as she drew it in: "We can't both fit in your shit car. I'll see you at home."

Because of his surprise, she was able to push past him, running out of the parking lot and down the street. In her eagerness to reach the trees, she had already stripped off her sweater. She wanted a race? One glance down at the car he had restored when he was sixteen told him it wasn't in any danger of being stolen. They could pick it up later. Hell, maybe Quil would see it in the parking lot and just take it home.

Jacob left the keys inside and took off down the street.

It felt strange, running in shoes, but he couldn't kick them off until he reached the trees. He was faster than Leah in their human forms (the benefit of being over a half a foot taller), but she was dropping her clothes as she ran, forcing him to slow down and pick them up. It didn't matter that she got to the forest a good hundred twenty meters ahead of him, even if he couldn't outrun her once she transformed. She would be doubling back today, waiting to ambush him. He would be ready.

And when she did...he was going to make her pay.

The woods provided enough cover for him to kick off his shoes quickly and strip down. He left their clothes in a pile, phasing without even thinking about it, the old habit long engrained. His shape dissolved and then his paws were hitting the fresh earth and Jacob was suddenly aware of being where he belonged once again.

Going to the hospital to be with Embry was something he gladly did. But the artificial building only served to remind him how much more he preferred the cool earth underneath his feet.

How would he have survived living as a human?

_You might be faster as a human, _a voice taunted him. _You're going so slowly you won't even be able to catch a rabbit, let alone me._

_You'd think you would have learned not to underestimate me by now. I fight dirty, Leah, remember?_

_I remember,_ she promised. _Vividly._

_Anyone else out here?_

Not that he was overly possessive, or anything, but he was not about to share her with the rest of the pack. Ever.

_Max was. I gave him the news and ordered him to phase back. I think he's going to have to hike a couple miles back to La Push._

_Bitch._

It was too easy to read her now. He had far too much practice. She may have sent Max back to La Push, but she hadn't done it with an Alpha command. She had simply told the younger boy that she was on a run and expected Jacob to join her. Experience had done the rest.

_Be nice to me, Jake. Or I'll go even faster and you won't have a hope in hell of catching me._

_Go as fast as you want. It doesn't make a difference to me._

_Fine._

It was simply a matter of reaching out, and then he could see the world as she did, flying past her so quickly he couldn't even make sense of anything, even with his superpowers. Damn she was fast.

The explosion of leaves came at him a second before she did and he didn't get out of the way fast enough. Teeth sank into his shoulder, tugging him backward, trying to knock him off balance. If no one could touch Leah when it came to speed, then he was the one they couldn't touch for strength. If she was playing his game, she was going to lose.

_Am not,_ she said, sprinting away, trying to leave him on the ground. But he had already scrambled back up, throwing himself into her, knocking her over with the force of his superior weight.

_Stop being a pushover, Leah_, he teased, just so she would growl like that, fangs bared, eyes flashing.

They circled each other warily, teeth glinting in the dimming sunlight, watching for an opening. She couldn't turn tail and run, they were too close, but she couldn't beat him in a fight.

As usual, Leah let her temper get the best of her. The taunting made her jump too quickly, and he sidestepped her easily enough, sinking his teeth into scruff of her neck. He shook her a little, for daring to take off, then dropped her to the ground, pinning her with the force of his body.

_I think I won that round, _Jacob couldn't help thinking smugly.

_Give the man a prize, _she snapped. He couldn't help smirking.

_That would be the idea._

He got off her then, knowing they had both agreed it was over, even if she hadn't conceded defeat. She never did. That's what made the game fun, after all.

In a second, Jacob was naked in the middle of the forest, surveying the land from his human eyes. It was just a small sparse area between the trees. They had cleared some room with their earlier fighting, but it still wasn't much bigger than the Rabbit. Then again, the Rabbit didn't have Leah on the floor, naked and panting from the exertion of her run.

She caught him looking, arching an eyebrow. Come and get me, her body said, so he did. She was already scrambling up, intent on escaping one more time. It didn't work. One of his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her to the ground, pinning underneath him. And this time she didn't have any fur to protect her.

"Give?" he asked, knee in her back, holding her in place.

Muffled cursing was all he could hear, as her face stayed facing the ground. He had no choice but to flip her over, hurrying to trap her arms above her head, and to hold her legs down with his own, their limbs so intertwined it was hard to know where one ended and the other began as they panted together.

Leah was still twisting and struggling underneath, never content to let him win. But her eyes were black and her voice thick with desire, even as her mouth curled upwards.

"I thought only vampires were supposed to be that hard."

Jacob laughed, then brought their mouths together, a clashing of teeth and tongue, the battle for dominance continuing. It was tempting, the thought of letting her go, so she could pull at him the way he was pulling at her, all desperate need and mindless desire, but the Alpha part of him was too strong. She had to be his, completely. He growled as her teeth tugged on his lower lip, pushing her further into the earth, before he pulled away.

Her own sound of frustration was worth it, as her back arched off the ground as she tried to draw out the kiss. Her hands, stuck above her head as he held her securely by the wrists, tried to reach him, fingers curling until they looked like claws. The smell of her filled the clearing, sweet and seductive, blocking out everything but the thought of sinking into her.

"You shouldn't have run away," he reminded her.

"I'll run wherever I—" his thigh pressed further between her legs, until he could feel her wet against him, and her last word became a muffled moan "—want."

"Is there something you want, Leah?"

His own breathing wasn't doing so well. He couldn't pin her everywhere and she had finally realized that while she was stuck under him, she could move her hips—and he wasn't about to stop her from grinding against him.

Her back arched up again, pushing her chest upward, practically begging him to take the hard nipples into his mouth. Since she wouldn't actually beg, he just lowered his mouth without invitation, turning his attention to one breast and then the other as his mate writhed underneath him, hips moving frantically against him until she was gasping for each breath.

Her black hair was clinging to her forehead, plastered down as the sweat covered her face, white teeth gleaming against her dark skin. "Time to pay up," he whispered against her ear, and then bit down, just hard enough to push her over the edge, whimpering underneath him.

That he could resist the scent of her when she was like this was only because had been lucky to experience it before. It had been a long, long while before he could keep control whenever it flooded his senses—washing over him until he was drowning in it, survival contingent on being buried within her, the two of them perfectly together.

"What's that?"

"Nothing," he said, even as he let her push him off her. There was a gleam in her eyes that he didn't like, and he wasn't about to look away unless he had to.

"I didn't think I scratched you there," she said, still slightly breathless but collecting herself. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter."

If she was just going to kiss the scratches on his chest better, she could claw whatever she wanted. Jacob wasn't going to complain, not with the sight she made, leaning over him on all fours, mouth pressed to him, moving further down his body.

Then her eyes looked up, caught his.

She got a bit farther this time, maybe a whole three feet, since he had to stand up before he could chase her. The extra time meant she was prepared. No sooner had he grabbed her arm, than she spun around into his embrace, mouth attacking his, arms tight around his neck, knocking him backwards into the nearest tree.

Fortunately, they didn't break this one.

She was almost too close now; her scent was everywhere and it finally succeeded in shutting down all higher brain function. Gone was the previous playful need to prove his worth. There was only the desire to claim her, to pound away at her until she would never accept another because she was his, forever and always and ever more.

When he slammed her back against the tree, switching their positions, all she did was hiss, "Took you long enough," but he wasn't really listening to the words. It was the tiny hitches in her breath that had him captivated, tiny aberrations that no one else could hear, sounds that were only for him. He was one making her whimper. He was the one she wanted.

That was why she was wrapping one long leg around his waist, silently ordering him to hurry up. Squeezing that gorgeous ass, he lifted her, just enough, and then he was inside her, the heat of her welcoming him home. She could never belong to anyone else; no one else could survive the way she burned. Jacob wasn't sure he was going to survive as he lost himself in the feel of her, so tight around him, instinct taking over completely. He didn't really care.

After, he wasn't sure he could bring himself to let go, not until he heard her complain, "I think I have a splinter in my back."

Jacob laughed, kissing her nose and lips and everything else he could reach. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not," she pouted, as he finally set her completely on the ground. But when he made to look at her back, she just rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. Werewolf, remember?"

"Really? I didn't know that. You should have told me."

Her hair tickled his chin, when she wrapped her arms around him, but he said nothing, just ran his fingers over her arm, touching her soft skin, still surprised after all these years that she was here and she was his.

As if she could hear his thoughts—maybe she could—Leah looked up at him and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he replied. "Can we stay here forever?"

"I wish. You owe me for making me stay at the hospital so damn long. But not today. Today we have life to catch up on." Whatever list she was making in her head, all she said was: "You have to call Nessie when we get home. She's starting some new project and she wants to talk to you about it."

"Do you remember what it was?"

"No. Ask Seth. He's the one who talked to her last."

"Leah—"

"Do you know how hard it is to talk to her on the phone, Jake? It's like playing charades blindfolded. It drives me crazy—the guys have fun with it. I talk to her once they remind her she needs to open her mouth to communicate over a phone."

"It is a bit hard," he admitted. Nessie didn't seem to always understand why communicating by touch didn't work over long distances. "Thank you for trying."

"I really do like her."

"What's not to like?" he teased, kissing Leah before she could argue. Not that it stopped her from saying: "Clearly she has bad taste in soul mates."

He laughed again. "Maybe."

Leah sighed. "We should go. I'll run back and pick up the clothes if you put the kids to bed tonight. I'm too tired to be the bad guy."

"Deal," he agreed. "Maybe they're already asleep."

"Please. Charlie's a pushover." Sue was still at the hospital—Leah was right. The kids would still be up. "See you at home?"

"Sure." Her face had slipped into that soft expression he only got to see once in a very long while. It made her look even more beautiful, if such a thing were possible. He couldn't help asking, "What's that look about?"

"What look?"

"That smile," he said, leaning down to kiss along the upturned corner.

"I...I was thinking about Embry's face again. He was just...it was really sweet."

Not that she wouldn't kill him for thinking it, but Leah was one of the most sentimental people Jacob had ever met. He wasn't sure how that happened, either.

"Did I ever tell you that Embry is actually my favorite person on the planet? Even before you?"

"No." She laughed and leaned against him. "And why is that?"

"Because, Leah, Embry Call is secretly genius. He just hides it very, very, very well."

...

The End


End file.
